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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask is there a better version of Brighton

687 replies

Wondergirl100 · 26/04/2021 11:10

Sorry a bit cheeky to put on AIBU - but - it's an important question!!

Brighton - great vibes, creativity, open mindedness good schools - but overpriced and the countryside isn't amazing and there are no gardens.

So what is the alternative! Where else is open minded and fun and has sea air and countryside but is not ruined by hen dos and property prices. And needs to have good schools.

Sadly, I have to write off the whole of Kent as I don't approve of grammar system. Unless there is somewhere in Kent with good secondary moderns.

OP posts:
HugeHoveFan · 26/04/2021 14:16

A couple of PPs have mentioned Chichester - it's gorgeous but astonishingly expensive (more than Brighton).

£500K will get you a small, terraced town house in the centre, but apart from that it seems to be huge detached houses for upwards of £2.5M!

My friend moved to Seaford from Brighton a few years ago to get more for her money and loves it (about 25 minutes east along the coast).
She's right on the seafront but it's very villagy and quite trendy now too. She made some really nice friends quite quickly.

Erkrie · 26/04/2021 14:17

I didn't refer to Erkrie or anyone else by name, I just said that

Apart from this below, which you directed at me.

Gosh you sound a delight. Maybe people aren't 'welcoming' to you because of the way you treat others

user1469544430 · 26/04/2021 14:17

I lived in Brighton for over a decade and it was great - I have lots of fond memories. The size of the city is easy to negotiate by public transport, lots of fun events: when I lived there I liked that you got all sorts of people. There was nightlife for all: yes hen/stag dos and rough pubs, but lots of good tucked away pubs and smaller club nights too. I never thought I would move away but the time came when I wanted something new. So I moved up to Leeds when I had kids and was actually able to buy a house and still experience lots of culture (maybe even more so as Brighton is SO WHITE and lets be honest, a bit Nathan Barley) Lots of people thought I was made to move up to Leeds because it's 'grim up north!!' but I also love it here: I find it a lot less pretentious, there are lovely little areas with plenty of cafes, galleries, things happening, friendly people and I love the Yorkshire countryside which isn't too far where I am. But hey, there are lots of old industrial areas which aren't too pretty and it's centre was uglified a bit by well meaning mid/late century planning. I think Brighton suited me in the past, Leeds suits me now. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything: in short, think beyond the south and you may be pleasantly surprised! We live in a small country really!

HugeHoveFan · 26/04/2021 14:17

Love the sound of Belfast - really want to visit now.

Ithinkyoucan · 26/04/2021 14:18

Erkrie then responded to that saying no, it depended on what community the OP identified with

The point being that if OP is from one of the groups the 'open-minded' don't already feel well-disposed to, she will find herself on the receiving end of their intolerance.

That was the point. It was not mocking OP in anyway. You misunderstood the point being made.

FrustratedC0ffeeDrinker · 26/04/2021 14:18

Southsea, at the very bottom of Portsmouth is great.

Erkrie · 26/04/2021 14:18

It isn't the first time, actually. There's some serious form there..

Can you explain? I'm not sure what you're trying to say here.

GreyhoundG1rl · 26/04/2021 14:19

SarahandQuack spends a lot of time tilting at windmills.

SarahAndQuack · 26/04/2021 14:20

@Erkrie

I didn't refer to Erkrie or anyone else by name, I just said that

Apart from this below, which you directed at me.

Gosh you sound a delight. Maybe people aren't 'welcoming' to you because of the way you treat others

Oh, FGS.

In my first post, I didn't refer to you or anyone else by name.

I don't know if I am missing some history with the OP that everyone else seems to be responding to, but in the absence of that, it sounds to me as if she asked a perfectly sensible question, and a lot of posters felt the need to snark at her concerns.

I could speculate why; I can see there's an undercurrent of stuff around LGBT and trans issues. But I don't see the need to mock someone for having concerns.

If you just wanted to make the point that people aren't always as open minded as they like to believe, fine, but you didn't need to disagree with my post to do that. Which makes me think you have an agenda here, TBH.

Erkrie · 26/04/2021 14:21

spends a lot of time tilting at windmills.

Never heard that expression before. Every day is an education.

SarahAndQuack · 26/04/2021 14:22

@GreyhoundG1rl

SarahandQuack spends a lot of time tilting at windmills.
Do I?

I don't think I've ever crossed posts with Erkrie before; I don't recognise your name either. And I wouldn't say I'm a particularly prolific poster in general.

Ithinkyoucan · 26/04/2021 14:23

But I don't see the need to mock someone for having concerns

And that's why no-one did.

SatsumasOrClementines · 26/04/2021 14:23

Worthing is like Aylesbury on Sea.
@SpiderinaWingMirror
What’s Aylesbury on Sea? Aylesbury isn’t on the coast is it? Have I missed a joke...

Ithinkyoucan · 26/04/2021 14:23

@Erkrie

spends a lot of time tilting at windmills.

Never heard that expression before. Every day is an education.

Don Quixote
Erkrie · 26/04/2021 14:24

If you just wanted to make the point that people aren't always as open minded as they like to believe, fine, but you didn't need to disagree with my post to do that.

It's a public forum? Am I not supposed to respond to people individually then?

Which makes me think you have an agenda here, TBH

What sort of agenda do you think I have?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 26/04/2021 14:24

If you’re from London, don’t move to Brighton thinking it’ll be equally multi cultural. It’s not. It’s a very nice place, and quite liberal in outlook, but not multi cultural in anything like the same way. Not making any judgment about that but it’s a mistake Londoners tend to make.

Can’t speak to other places, and the below is nothing to do with whether these places are multi cultural or not.

Newcastle is a great shout! It’s a fabulous place imo. Great for the arts.

Colchester is horrible, don’t even think about it.

St Ives is arty?

Bournemouth is nice but very Benidorm in the cold in the summer.

I wouldn’t necessarily write off the whole of Kent because of grammar schools!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 26/04/2021 14:25

@SatsumasOrClementines I think they’re just using Aylesbury to mean shit!

I was born in Aylesbury but tbf it’s not that nice. Improved a bit in recent years though. Some nice villages nearby.

Erkrie · 26/04/2021 14:26

Don Quixote

Thanks. I'll take a look. Just had a quick Google. Looks interesting.

SarahAndQuack · 26/04/2021 14:26

@Ithinkyoucan

Erkrie then responded to that saying no, it depended on what community the OP identified with

The point being that if OP is from one of the groups the 'open-minded' don't already feel well-disposed to, she will find herself on the receiving end of their intolerance.

That was the point. It was not mocking OP in anyway. You misunderstood the point being made.

But what she actually wrote was no, it depends.

Actually it doesn't.

It's just dickish to mock people.

Weeedonkey · 26/04/2021 14:26

Most of the UK is "very white" though, apart from a small number of areas which aren't.

Yes this!

There’s a reason for this 🤣 Just like Africa is very black. I don’t understand the hate for areas being ‘too white’ would you go to Turkey and say, this is a bit too Middle Eastern, not much diversity. 🤣🤣🤣

(I’m mixed race before anyone takes offence)

MobyDicksTinyCanoe · 26/04/2021 14:27

Lancaster ticks all your boxes.
Plenty of canals and river walks, stunning countryside and more grammar schools than you can shake a furry stick at

SarahAndQuack · 26/04/2021 14:28

@Erkrie

If you just wanted to make the point that people aren't always as open minded as they like to believe, fine, but you didn't need to disagree with my post to do that.

It's a public forum? Am I not supposed to respond to people individually then?

Which makes me think you have an agenda here, TBH

What sort of agenda do you think I have?

I have no idea. I feel as if a lot of this thread is going a long way over my head. I think I'll grab my donkey and let myself out.
Bemoreme21 · 26/04/2021 14:29

@StayingHere Where are you moving if you don't mind me asking? Having the same issues with secondary here in Brighton as you!

mushroom3 · 26/04/2021 14:31

Sheringham, North Norfolk?

Erkrie · 26/04/2021 14:31

have no idea. I feel as if a lot of this thread is going a long way over my head. I think I'll grab my donkey and let myself out

They have donkeys in Brighton I believe.