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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask is there a better version of Brighton

687 replies

Wondergirl100 · 26/04/2021 11:10

Sorry a bit cheeky to put on AIBU - but - it's an important question!!

Brighton - great vibes, creativity, open mindedness good schools - but overpriced and the countryside isn't amazing and there are no gardens.

So what is the alternative! Where else is open minded and fun and has sea air and countryside but is not ruined by hen dos and property prices. And needs to have good schools.

Sadly, I have to write off the whole of Kent as I don't approve of grammar system. Unless there is somewhere in Kent with good secondary moderns.

OP posts:
Dipi79 · 29/04/2021 17:17

Visiting places doesn't mean 'knowing' them. You're embodying why we hate dickheads like you visiting our localities.

Weeedonkey · 29/04/2021 17:18

@Erkrie

LemonRoses

Many of these toilets aren't actually floor to ceiling. And even if they were, they are still problematic. For example shared washing areas with males are extremely problematic for girls. Maybe you should investigate why this setup is not a good idea for women and girls. From hygiene, to privacy, to voyarism. So much information out there. Hard to miss it really.

The first time I went out out up in Manchester I was shocked. This one club had separate toilets but joined in the middle by a communal hand washing area. Apart from the fact you don’t want to reapply your lippy and chat in an area where men are around, the safety aspect of it really worried me!
Yorkshirecrab · 29/04/2021 17:21

@Proudboomer

It is not made up. Back in 2018 Brighton city council offered up their gender tool kit to schools which covers all of East Sussex not just Brighton. I know for a fact there has been protests at Rudyard Kipling but and another school in newhaven.

And on the issue of schools Dorothy stringer one of the so called better schools had 76 pupils who identified as either trans or gender fluid. Now statistics say less than 1% of the uk population who identified as trans and yet at DS it is like a club the 11 to 16 year olds are joining.

The information about children at DS is probably true. I know of two children who moved to that school because they were being bullied at other schools outside of Brighton because one was trans and one was gay. I'm sure there are others too, it's not catching! People go there because it is a school that is very accepting with decent kids who don't bully people because they are different. I don't have children at the school by the way.
GreyhoundG1rl · 29/04/2021 17:22

the safety aspect of it really worried me!
There is a huge safety issue with walking into a room full of floor to ceiling lockable cubicles, where men can loiter quite legitimately.
Anyone who claims not to see it shouldn't be listened to, frankly.

tiggeri · 29/04/2021 17:23

Typical. It's been turned into a trans issues and toilets thread Hmm

Weeedonkey · 29/04/2021 17:24

@GreyhoundG1rl

the safety aspect of it really worried me! There is a huge safety issue with walking into a room full of floor to ceiling lockable cubicles, where men can loiter quite legitimately. Anyone who claims not to see it shouldn't be listened to, frankly.
I know, we all went in together but waited for each other by the basins! How can clubs not see this?!
Erkrie · 29/04/2021 17:26

I'm sure there are others too, it's not catching!

Well, no it's not, but there is of course the social contagion theory. Which does seem to be impacting on girls in particular with regard to gender and identity politics.

Anyway, aside from that, being trans is not an issue. Giving away women's and girls rights and safeguards in favour of that those is a huge safeguarding issue.

Erkrie · 29/04/2021 17:27

Typical. It's been turned into a trans issues and toilets thread

Well it was you that hurled the transphobes are here comment. You reap what you sow.

Goldenbear · 29/04/2021 17:29

You don't think bullying exists at DS! I think it is a big school and that is very unlikely!

Erkrie · 29/04/2021 17:30

Bullying exists at every school. It's how the school deals with it that counts.

Goldenbear · 29/04/2021 17:34

Yes and how would you know how they deal with it unless you know someone whose child goes there. This is quite a misconception about Brighton, it is not all peace, love, acceptance and wind chimes!

Yorkshirecrab · 29/04/2021 17:36

Well I know that it was recommended to these individuals as somewhere they would have an easier time. That was by professionals.

Yorkshirecrab · 29/04/2021 17:36

Perhaps because they would fit in and not be bullied, which they haven't been

Erkrie · 29/04/2021 17:39

Maybe the school deals with bullying adequately then. Depends on the headteacher at the time I find.

Yorkshirecrab · 29/04/2021 17:41

It's a good job some of the people on here aren't in school with these children.

Goldenbear · 29/04/2021 17:41

But bullying is not just about those scenarios. Bullying over other things arises. Pastoral care is often the main problem that is discussed about most secondary schools around here.

Yorkshirecrab · 29/04/2021 17:43

Somebody implied that DS was a school with some kind of catching trans issue. I was just pointing out that children probably get moved there when they are trans from other less tolerant areas.

Yorkshirecrab · 29/04/2021 17:43

Which could be why there are more trans kids there. If that wasn't clear

Erkrie · 29/04/2021 17:44

It's a good job some of the people on here aren't in school with these children.

Why's that then?

GreyhoundG1rl · 29/04/2021 17:45

Or it could have a leadership team that clamps down hard on bullying, rather than being a place of tolerance and enlightenment that other schools are not.

Goldenbear · 29/04/2021 17:46

Well yes, there is certainly inclusivity, we had surveys about this last term.

Goldenbear · 29/04/2021 17:47

I am puzzled by both perceptions Confused

Yorkshirecrab · 29/04/2021 17:49

@Erkrie

It's a good job some of the people on here aren't in school with these children.

Why's that then?

🤔
Goldenbear · 29/04/2021 17:55

That said, it is great at primary level and whoever said the sense of community is quite strong, I agree, I have good friends that are parents form the school gates, frowned upon on Mumsnet but it's nice. There is a sense of fun and stuff going on, WhatsApp groups for the locality that are supportive not nosey. People will invite you around to their house after school especially on a Friday for a drink and chat, impromptu pub garden visits. It is not a place where you just go straight home and lock the world out. Many people I know have creative jobs so they have a flexibility that facilitates that kind of lifestyle.

Proudboomer · 29/04/2021 18:26

DS is a large school but it is also massively over subscribed and its catchment area is fiveways one of the more expensive areas which is reflected in the fact that the pupils premium is below average.
Trans children are not moving to the school it is now more the trendy thing for kids to identify as within the school.
There is not a lot of movement of children transferring there for any reason as quite frankly there is no spaces there as it is rare for children to leave once they have got a place.

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