To ask is there a better version of Brighton

[Wondergirl100]

Sorry a bit cheeky to put on AIBU - but - it's an important question!!

Brighton - great vibes, creativity, open mindedness good schools - but overpriced and the countryside isn't amazing and there are no gardens.

So what is the alternative! Where else is open minded and fun and has sea air and countryside but is not ruined by hen dos and property prices. And needs to have good schools.

Sadly, I have to write off the whole of Kent as I don't approve of grammar system. Unless there is somewhere in Kent with good secondary moderns.

I love Maki but it would appear there’s a lot more to the storey than she wouldn’t put up a sign

What else is there to the story then?

Op, I completely agree with you about the grammar school system, whst about places like bridport, sorry if its already been mentioned

I thought of another reason that Brighton is great, after reading the ‘happily middle aged’ thread. In Brighton as a Middle Aged woman you can wear DMs, go clubbing (b4 covid) in flat shoes and dress like you did when you were 20 and no one bats an eyelid.
Tho when I ask dp if I look nice he does say ‘you look very Brighton’.

HoegaardenHappiness in the 80’s, that was Thursday’s Grab a Granny Night at the Top Rank Suite in West Street grin

Stroud but near chalford. No seaside though

Totnes

I think Bath or Bournemouth/poole — Bath hasnt got sea but has got a holiday feel and the Avon through it

Worthing. We moved here 21 years ago for work from London at a time when Brighton friends thought we were crazy - we wanted space & no hills to push a double buggy up!
We've seen massive changes. The town centre is currently a little sad but that's a national picture that will hopefully improve.
Some great pubs & restaurants. Plenty of community activity. Good schools.
Traditionally Tory council now being challenged by some excellent Labour councillors who are really active in the community.

Blimey..... Kentshire seems to have changed since I grew up there!

I grew up in Kent. 60s and 70s. Margate and Ramsgate then were shockingly awful. Despite a bit of hype, they are still shockingly awful if not worse. They are overrun with social services B&B accommodation and the high streets have never recovered from the out of town shops built at Westwood.

Add in the fact that the local hospital is unspeakably poor and has been subject to a damning inquiry and it's a no brainer.

When I was young there were naice prep schools and private schools but these are long gone. The grammars were brilliant but below them existed an hierarchy of ever worse secondaries from a good technical high school at the top, followed by a solid CoE with good parental involvement, to a sink school at the bottom.

There are still nice parts close by: Broadstairs and Birchington. Paradoxically Whitstable was a shingle ghost town on the Costa geriatrica complete with increasingly abandoned cockle sheds. I find what it has become compared with what it was perplexing.

My grandparents lived rural near Canterbuty and had business interests in Folkestone which has gone much the same way as Margate/Ramsgate.

Kent is a funny old county and I believe in the 70s had one of the highest rates of per capita wealth whilst also having some of the highest rates of poverty.

The parts being discussed a lot on this thread used to be 2 hours from London and many folk 50/60 years ago had never even been to Canterbury let alone London. When I was a child, often local people had what sounded quite similar to a West Country burr, which was how it was before the mass Londonisation.

RosesAndHellebores. We have much in common and your post feels very accurate reflection of my childhood in Kent. Margate remains grim for the most part. Thanet loved Farage, so not exactly a ‘cool’ or ‘inclusive’ community. Blighted by deprivation and poverty.

In amongst the grim estates and dereliction are some lovely spots but you have to bypass an awful lot of uncared for streets to get to them.

Broadstairs has some nicer corners and is much more popular with a more affluent set. All have the loveliest beaches but sadly often covered in litter and overcrowded now.

I’d not go back to live in Kent.

Health In Kent, particularly in East Kent and Medway is abysmal. I’d catch a ferry to Calais rather than be admitted to hospitals there. Maidstone and Tunbridge Wells/Dartford are a lot better but still not without some challenges.

@HoegaardenHappiness

I thought of another reason that Brighton is great, after reading the ‘happily middle aged’ thread. In Brighton as a Middle Aged woman you can wear DMs, go clubbing (b4 covid) in flat shoes and dress like you did when you were 20 and no one bats an eyelid. Tho when I ask dp if I look nice he does say ‘you look very Brighton’.

I don't think that's unique to Brighton though is it. You can do that anywhere, can't you?

Of course you can. Brighton isn't a look

It's (sociologically speaking) a liminal (on the edges, on the margins) place, as many seaside towns are. It was historically a playground for the rich for weekend jaunts from London etc.

Negatives

Cost of travel 4-5k p/a from Hove to London. 3 days commuting a week costs more than a season ticket.

Hedonism being a fairly dominant lifestyle choice among younger generation.

There are also some of the most deprived Estates in SE there and many of the kids don't feel they have a stake in the town centre.

Lower wages

Postives

In a country/world that is increasingly polarised having somewhere like Brighton is to be celebrated.

There are some amazing events - Burning the Clocks for example where the whole community marches with homemade lanterns to remember loved ones they have lost.

House prices

And the ratio of yoga places/therapists/coffee shops/massages per person is quite high!

Which schools have the mixed toilets?

@Goldenbear

Which schools have the mixed toilets?

I think they made that up

Oh, thanks for confirming.

It is not made up. Back in 2018 Brighton city council offered up their gender tool kit to schools which covers all of East Sussex not just Brighton. I know for a fact there has been protests at Rudyard Kipling but and another school in newhaven.

And on the issue of schools Dorothy stringer one of the so called better schools had 76 pupils who identified as either trans or gender fluid. Now statistics say less than 1% of the uk population who identified as trans and yet at DS it is like a club the 11 to 16 year olds are joining.

@Goldenbear

Which schools have the mixed toilets?

Lots of schools across the country have a lavatory area with full cubicles used by everyone, but with shared, open plan hand washing area. They reduce bullying and a culture of hanging around in groups preventing others from entering, are easier to supervise. They also reduce tendency for girls to spend hours doing their makeup. They stop going to the lavatory becoming a social event and reduce out of class time.

As long as cubicles are flor to ceiling, they aren’t a problem. Unpopular because they reduce skiving but perfectly useable. We all share on planes, so not exactly a big issue.

We all share on planes

LemonRoses

Many of these toilets aren't actually floor to ceiling. And even if they were, they are still problematic. For example shared washing areas with males are extremely problematic for girls. Maybe you should investigate why this setup is not a good idea for women and girls. From hygiene, to privacy, to voyarism. So much information out there. Hard to miss it really.

We all share on planes Reminds me of the person who said that we have gender neutral toilets at home and they're fine, so why shouldn't they be in public. Anyone who thinks this is an adequate response is a numpty of the highest order.

"They also reduce tendency for girls to spend hours doing their makeup. They stop going to the lavatory becoming a social event and reduce out of class time." oh and easier to supervise....

Well it all makes perfect sense now - girls have to give up their right to sex based privacy and share with boys because it stops them spending ages on make-up"

Where to begin?????? Sounds proper totalitarian state control - we won't have these girls spending time together unsupervised dealing with bodily functions. What possibly could they be doing in there to expect privacy in the first place? Oh - make-up, that's it! being female is all about make-up, not the biological realities of being a teenage girl.

Oh - make-up, that's it! being female is all about make-up, not the biological realities of being a teenage girl.

Yep, sounds about right. And when I was at school, if I was late to class I'd get a detention. No need to take the girl's toilets away and make them share with the boys, in case they're late because they were putting on makeup.