To ask is there a better version of Brighton

[Wondergirl100]

Sorry a bit cheeky to put on AIBU - but - it's an important question!!

Brighton - great vibes, creativity, open mindedness good schools - but overpriced and the countryside isn't amazing and there are no gardens.

So what is the alternative! Where else is open minded and fun and has sea air and countryside but is not ruined by hen dos and property prices. And needs to have good schools.

Sadly, I have to write off the whole of Kent as I don't approve of grammar system. Unless there is somewhere in Kent with good secondary moderns.

Things I love about Brighton:

Easy to walk around, compact. Safe to walk around.
Lots of beautiful green space, parks.
5 miles of seafront. Always there, always open. For running, swimming, SUp. And, no it's not always rammed. Those photos always show just under Palace Pier - so much space either side, And off season it's all ours anyway.
Yellowwave - beach volley ball courts. And the Beachbox sauna on the beach.
The Open Air Theatre.
Palace Pier - really good fun to get a wristbands with the kids ( half price for locals) and go on everything.
A really great, diverse music and gig scene.
Tons of sports for kids - from footie teams, to cricket, to park basketball, Parkour.
Tons of stuff outdoors for adults - want to do yoga on the beach at 5am? there's a class. Want to be 'beasted' in a park after work there's a class. Want to learn how to tight rope walk? There's a grp in the park. Sea swimming beginner? Endless, endless grps. Want to SUP? Endless meet ups and grps.
Arty - always something going on whether it's crazy fire performers on the beach at dusk, the annual arts festival, Pride, Artists open houses trail, buskers, the Great Escape new musical weekend. Comedy weekend. Chilli Festival. It's never dull.
Fantastic independent shops, gifts, tut, books, records, food.
Brilliant library, lots of events, brill kids section.
Food - so many good food places.
Pubs - so many great pubs. Soooo many. Lots with a garden or outdoor space. Almost all kids and dog friendly.
The Downs within walking distance. The rest of the coast quick to get to.
Tolerant people. Genuinely tolerant, not some lip service to it. It's very live and let live. My kids have 2 mums and have literally NEVER has a negative experience or comment about it, which is astonishing if you think about it.Not many cities that would happen in.
On the election map we're a little red/green enclave surrounded by blue - think about that when you're considering Hastings or Chichester or Worthing as options... Toryvilles.
So many people are here for a better life/work balance - and you can tell, they're more chilled, work part-time, are always sneaking off to the beach, it's relaxed.
We have the only Green MP, cos, of course we do.

And finally, community. The sense of community is phenomenal. I thought I lived in the best street in Brighton, then discovered that friends in other parts think they do. We have street parties, Community halls and spaces, support groups, know our neighbours, - really know them - Playing Outs for the kids. Most people I know volunteer in some capacity, whether that's coaching a kids team, working for a food bank, volunteering for the NHS. And no they aren't retired, they have jobs, kids In the last year that community sense has really helped people through.

Things I don't like?
Not much. Don't even mind the hoards of summer tourists because they prop up our economy, and we locals just avoid that half mile or so around the Palace Pier on summer weekends.
Though please, please bag your rubbish up.
Homelessness - much less than I ever saw in London, but it is visible. Lots of homeless people come down here because the weather is much milder, I'd prob do the same.

There really is only one Brighton...

'I never really understand the mentality of people think they can stop people moving to their area.'

Makes me laugh. I barely know anyone born here and I've been here 15 years... I'm not even from this country. Nor is DW. Although Brighton isn't massively ethnically mixed there are tons of nationalities here... our neighbours include Americans, Canadian, Spanish, Brazilian, Australian, Portugese, Poles, Irish, Indian, Pakistani, Bulgarian, Iranian and those are just the people on our not very long street.

anywhere in Devon slightly inland from the coast (too expensive, though if you're moving from some areas of Brighton that wouldn't be a problem). Totnes has been mentioned a few times. Dartington is also quite artizan too and is close to Dartmoor for the countryside you crave. Near enough to do day trips to beautiful but expensive Cornwall.
Also some towns in Dorset would provide what you seek.

One thing to mention is that the trains were very stressful relatively recently. The Southern trains strikes went on a long time (at one point Brighton commuters held a protest against the union at Brighton station). If you are going to want or need to travel to and from London, you really need the trains to not be awful.

At present they seem to be okay (and quite empty). However all the places (Brighton and others) become much less attractive than south London during strikes or engineering works.

A childhood friend said that at one point it was taking literally hours to travel to and from London and it was having a real impact on her family life.

@Lickedmylollyandneversaidsorry

I lived in Tunbridge Wells for 3 yrs and hated it so much I moved back to a crappy overpopulated part of London to move in with my in laws, just to get away from there! It was the most pretentious town that was full of either snobs or complete down and outs. It is also very pricey to live considering what you get for your money and there is a large traveller community about , which caused issues quite regularly. That said there is some beautiful little villages around TW but it certainly wasn't for me and my family!! I also live in Brighton for 9yrs and while i did love it, it is defo over rated and overpriced. There are little towns around Brighton that are cheaper, nicer and not so busy whilst still being close to the sea, for example Woodingdean, Rottingdean, Worthing, Eastbourne etc.

Totally agree with full of snobs. Lived in T/Wells for years and still find it pretentious especially the school gate. That is another thread all together. I love the fact I Live in beautiful countryside and children are happy but when they are grown up will move back to Whitstable. Lovely place and feel part of the community. Still feel an outsider in T/Wells, 10 years on.

On the election map we're a little red/green enclave surrounded by blue - think about that when you're considering Hastings or Chichester or Worthing as options... Toryvilles.

Any place has the potential to change as long as there are people moving in and out of the area. And er...dying 😬 Lots of the blue voters here in Worthing are really quite elderly and won’t be around forever. There’s been a gradual change over the past few years with more people voting red, yellow, green and Independent in the local elections. We have a great Labour councillor in the ward I live in. She’s a young Dr with kids. She’s a familiar face around the neighbourhood and she’s very popular.

We have so many people moving over from Brighton; largely young families. A change in the political landscape is fairly inevitable I’d have thought.

YANBU I worked in Brighton for 4 years. I was excited at first but quickly came to realise that it's a place that really needs to get over itself. That was 7 years ago and now it's so far down the gender rabbit hole that schools have mixed sex toilets, which is no good for girls or boys.

If you want seaside, nice countryside and a good vibe without the overpriced housing and general wankiness of Brighton, you could try Weymouth. It's lovely there, there's a great (sandy!) beach, all the shops you need, lovely walks, the Jurassic coast, the stunning Dorset countryside, affordable housing, a direct train to London, and most people are chilled out, down to earth and not up their own arses. I'd happily live there if my DH could commute, but alas it's too far.

Come to the East Yorkshire coast. Housing prices very good, schools pretty good ( next to no grammar schools around) and several nearby cities to choose from. Beautiful countryside/coast/ Sandy beaches/ wolds/ moors / forests/ rivers . We’ve got it going on.

@Cleversaz, I reckon Weymouth is a good shout. I visited last summer having never been there before and I thought there was a lovely feel about the place, and some gorgeous properties.

Actually they aren’t. They are offering well within the price range but are being out bid by people offering over 15-20k ABOVE the max asking price range who don’t even bother to view the property.

'now it's so far down the gender rabbit hole that schools have mixed sex toilets, which is no good for girls or boys.'

Which schools? Not the 5/6 I'm familiar with.

'Brighton used to be fun but is terrifying now if you don’t toe the trans line.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4060916-Brighton-TRAs-bullying-Happy-Maki-female-owned-business'

Ah Happy Maki, her staff walked out over payment/furlough issues, not because she wouldn't put a poster in the window, though she did say that people are trans people have dysphoria because:

'“From the research I have done, I believe that gender dysphoria is due to spirits and spirit over-cloaking.'

Over-cloaking. I probably wouldn't want to work with her either, but probably because she wasn't ( allegedly) treating her staff properly.

She didn't furlough the staff because they had already left, and they requested to be furloughed after the event as it would seem they saw an opportunity. The owner couldn't furlough them because it would be illegal (as they'd already left.) So there was a lot of animosity there anyway,. The owners business was then attacked because she didn't want to put up a sign crowdfunding for a transmans top surgery in her window. The refusal to furlough story was part of the narrative to bring her business down. There's are arseholes in this story. Plenty of them. The business owner is not one of those arseholes.

@Stevenetween

'Brighton used to be fun but is terrifying now if you don’t toe the trans line. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4060916-Brighton-TRAs-bullying-Happy-Maki-female-owned-business'

Ah Happy Maki, her staff walked out over payment/furlough issues, not because she wouldn't put a poster in the window, though she did say that people are trans people have dysphoria because:

'“From the research I have done, I believe that gender dysphoria is due to spirits and spirit over-cloaking.'

Over-cloaking. I probably wouldn't want to work with her either, but probably because she wasn't ( allegedly) treating her staff properly.

You haven't explained away the attack on her shop? The one that we all know full well happened. Do you want a spin on justifying that?

Stevenetween didn't attack her shop FFS!

@Stevenetween

'now it's so far down the gender rabbit hole that schools have mixed sex toilets, which is no good for girls or boys.'

Which schools? Not the 5/6 I'm familiar with.

Yes which schools?? I think you're making this up

@thighsin

Stevenetween didn't attack her shop FFS!

I don't know what this means. Nobody suggested anything of the sort.

You're asking them to explain why someone did something. How can they know?

@thighsin

You're asking them to explain why someone did something. How can they know?

They have (incorrectly) explained away all the other details. See Erkrie's post for a full explanation. There couldn't possibly have known that stuff either, since it didn't happen.

Totnes is certainly not Brighton!
It’s pretty enough but it’s achingly cold and damp in Winter.
As for “quirky” there’s a farmers’ market, some poky antiques shops that sell stuff you’d find in charity shops elsewhere and a few ostentatious cargo biking, hand knitting homeschoolers, but it’s not a place I’d like to move to.
I love Dartmouth but prices are probably similar to Bristol.

Brighton, not Bristol, sorry!

This reminds me of when go to my home city and mention I live in Brighton. Almost immediately goes to - OMG I heard to HAVE to be gay there, AND everyone’s trans AND they all party all day and and and...
The schools have single Sex toilets, some high schools and the university ALSO have individual ‘anyone’ single room toilets separately.
I love Maki but it would appear there’s a lot more to the storey than she wouldn’t put up a sign asking for funds for someone.
We don’t have trans women giving us intimate exams at the docs or hospital.
We don’t have half of our population homeless.
The beach is clean ( and surprisingly comfy).
No one is forcing lesbians to have sex with people they don’t want to.
The green council are a wee bit mad at times.
No, people aren’t trying to flog you heroin on the streets.

I like Poole and Christchurch. Short hop in the car to the New Forest and the beaches are nice.

No, people aren’t trying to flog you heroin on the streets

I haven't lived there for 25 years but tbf this is the thing I miss about Brighton like it was

There is a Hastings thread going on right now. They're really slating it. It seems it's way worse than the dreaded Brighton.
MN just likes slagging stuff off. I bloody love Brighton!