Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have you ever cheated on a partner?

87 replies

morribash · 25/04/2021 08:16

I was talking to my friends yesterday while we all got tipsy in the garden and we started talking about relationships. 2 of my friends outright admitted to cheating on their current partners. I didn't say anything but I've cheated on my ex-partners in the past but not the one I'm currently seeing.
Thinking about people I've worked with and known over the years I think there's a lot who have told me they've cheated on their boyfriends or husbands. Some women I used to work with would do it all the time.
Is it more common now or do we just admit it more now? Have you ever cheated?

OP posts:
CareBear50 · 25/04/2021 08:17

Never

Waxonwaxoff0 · 25/04/2021 08:18

Nope, never. When I was unhappy in any relationship I just left.

Tlollj · 25/04/2021 08:19

I reckon it’s really common. Place where I used to work it was unusual if you weren’t. Men and women.

Sunflowergirl1 · 25/04/2021 08:20

Yes definitely more common I think...combination of alcohol, social media and opportunity to communicate secretly.

I haven't cheated before...have split with a couple of bf before I got to that stage.

Yes several friends have admitted cheating. Didn't sound regretful...did say the person they cheated with was good in bed and shared a few details which was the wine loosening their tongue lol...made me realise they were more adventurous than I ever imagined.

Blakey24 · 25/04/2021 08:22

I’ve been with my partner for 9 years never have and never would. He is the same. He’s never give me any reason to suggest he would. When he’s not at work he is at home!

I did in a previous relationship. It’s not as bad as it sounds. Our relationship was quite clearly not going anywhere anyway, we were barely seeing each other or spending any time together and ended it shortly after. Never thought it was right but he had the same too on numerous occasions!

Horehound · 25/04/2021 08:23

Yup, cheated on a couple of exes. Would never cheat on DH.

susiebluebell · 25/04/2021 08:24

In my teens/early twenties I did, but the relationship was not very serious or mature. I've not cheated in either of my long-term adult relationships.

Horehound · 25/04/2021 08:24

Also, why did you stay quiet if your friends had admitted similar?!

barbrahunter · 25/04/2021 08:24

Yes I have, my partner of the time was starting to show his true colours and I was unhappy. But I shouldn't have done it, it made me feel physically sick when I thought about what I was doing.

Cuntryhouse · 25/04/2021 08:25

I've drunkenly cheated on boyfriends in my 20s. Not something I would do these days. Life was different then.

user1493413286 · 25/04/2021 08:25

Yes on an ex for complex reasons. Not with my DH though and would never

Houseofvelour · 25/04/2021 08:26

I've never cheated and never would.
I've been cheated on in 3 relationships and the long lasting emotional damage and trust issues are awful and I wouldn't do that to someone else.

Onlinedilema · 25/04/2021 08:26

Yes I did. I don't know why, I think probably because I always felt second best and that I was never his first priority. We split over other things. I would never cheat on dh though but I feel completely different with him, totally at ease.
I have 2 very close friends who cheated on their previous partners, both now blissfully happy with their new partners.
Of course it's common, who do you think people commit adultery with.
I think there is far more opportunity for women to cheat now and less blame and it's relatively easy to get away with as 'society ' doesn't expect women to cheat.
Also in the past there was risk of pregnancy which was a deterrent.

Iheartbed · 25/04/2021 08:26

2 of your friends admitted to cheating on their current partners? Wow. And no sense of guilt I presume otherwise they wouldn’t have said it

FindingMeno · 25/04/2021 08:27

Never, but I have seen more than one person with being open and honest about it, in non-serious situations.

Sunhoop · 25/04/2021 08:27

Yes in a past relationship but would never now, it's very different when there's DC involved. I felt incredibly guilty when I did it and couldn't deal with that stress ever again and living with the deceit. It was wrong and a decade later I still feel bad about it.

PonDeReplay · 25/04/2021 08:27

No.

Lovemusic33 · 25/04/2021 08:28

I cheated when I was 18, I was with a lovely guy but he was sooooo boring, things were coming to a end and I then met someone else at a party, I dumped my BF 2 days later.

I almost cheated on my ex dh, I got chatted up by someone that I had k own for years, he made me realise that I was still attractive when dh had put me down to the point I hated myself and my body. I could have easily have cheated but I didn’t. It pushed me to end it with dh (now ex) and then after splitting I had a short fling with the guy who chatted me up, I don’t regret it one bit.

I’m now single and will remain single unless I find someone amazing 🤣

Nancylovesthecock · 25/04/2021 08:30

Yup, cheated on exh a couple of times. Now I realise I just didn't love him at all.

Current DH nope and never would.

GoryGilmore · 25/04/2021 08:31

I did in my early 20’s. I was having problems with drink and reliance on painkillers (recovering from injuries) after a bad accident at the time. My boyfriend at the time was a well known ‘ladies man’ who constantly had a roving eye so I felt very insecure all the time which made me even more depressed. I met someone else who I had a short term but intense affair with, it wasn’t right but it restored my confidence that I wasn’t completely undesirable and showed me that better things were out there if I left, so I did. But I was a totally different person and don’t recognise that version of myself now. I quit drinking and the painkillers before I met DH and it’s not something I would ever do now.

Branleuse · 25/04/2021 08:32

I did in my first proper relationship, but i was only about 17. Thats all. Im not a cheating sort of person. Not like Ive never fancied anyone else or not had the opportunity but wouldnt do it.
I know plenty of people who have cheated and would cheat though and its made me think that some people just arent cut out for monogamy and some are and some people need to just own it and get together with other non monogamous people instead of sneaking around

Mumoblue · 25/04/2021 08:36

No. I was accused of it after dumping my first boyfriend, but I hadn’t. It used to bother me that he thought I had, but at the end of the day I know that I didn’t.
I don’t think I’d ever cheat with or on someone. If you’re unhappy just leave and if you want to be with someone who is in a relationship why on earth would you go with them behind someone’s back? That just means the most important information you know about them is that they can’t be trusted - not attractive!
I know some people say it just happens, but it’s a hard line for me.

katand2kits · 25/04/2021 08:36

I cheated on a boyfriend when I was young, but that's not the same as an actual partner in a proper adult relationship. I was 21 so old enough to know better, but it did push me into finally ending the relationship.

PatrickBatemann · 25/04/2021 08:38

Yes I have - with my now DH.

I'll prepare for a flaming, but I was very young and very miserable with my old partner. He made it very clear he was losing interest, we weren't right for each other, and I struggle with his snobby family (I'm from a very working class background).

The week prior to this, he tried to to tell me not to bother coming to see him because he was 'too busy' and I knew the game was up then.

BumCat · 25/04/2021 08:39

Nooooo. Never and wouldn’t ever. My life was turned upside down when I discovered my mother’s affair, I could never be that person. I’ve been cheated on though. A good friend of mine with kids (I was close to them all) had an affair which I was the first to find out about, and I took it very badly. It’s taken years for our friendship to recover.