Yes. NC obviously, there are still people that would be hurt. I’m not proud.
I moved in with exH young, I was happy but I never understood films & books where the protagonists had all-encompassing love. I met my paramour at work... I swear it was like the world stopped, he was just there and I felt a weird pull to him. I didn’t really get to know him for 8 months & even then it was very polite. Then we sat next to each other at the xmas do & chatted, I thought he was fantastic, great personality and I fancied him. Nothing happened, we didn’t dance together or anything. Over the next year we gradually flirted a little and just before Xmas I asked his marital status, he said he was married with a baby & another on the way. I was devastated, before then I would happily have left my then partner to start something. He flirted a lot and turned up in all the places I was, and I remember wondering what would his wife think, but it was exciting and, I admit I was heavily influenced by working in an environment where people were having affairs and being married with children was no barrier. We finally kissed and it was just unbelievable. If you ever seen The Bridges of Madison County, that’s what it was like, we both felt like we’d found ‘the one’. After that we both backed off, it was scary, and neither of us were willing to go further. Months on & I got engaged & married. It seemed the right thing to do, I did love my exH, but he didn’t love me passionately. ExH then got a job abroad, so I was off. Paramour was also moving away but within U.K. & it felt like the unspoken world we inhabited that only we knew existed, was about to be lost for good. We began an affair. This was before mobiles, I can’t even remember how we managed illicit meetings, but we did and it was wonderful. We were absolutely in love and lust. Then I left and that was that. Except it wasn’t. I returned home after 6 months of misery. We resumed the affair. I found out ExH was having an affair so we started to divorce. I realised that my paramour, despite having an affair with me, was too good a man and would never leave his wife, so I ended it. I moved on, but hated myself & had a very damaging toxic relationship with an abusive man. I did have a beautiful child though, and soon after left his father. When my DS was 4, my paramour got in touch through SM... would I meet him for a coffee? I said no many times. The very cheek I thought (but I still loved him). Then I asked about his marriage. It had ended 6 months earlier. We met. Nothing had really changed, except we were nearly 15 years older! We re-fell in love and we’ve been together now for 12 years. He’s a brilliant SF to my DS, I love his now adult kids. We’re incredibly happy, but like I said at the beginning, I’m not proud and I especially wouldn’t want his kids to know because, they have him on a pedestal and, it would serve no purpose for them to know their father treated their mother badly. Neither of us have had other affairs, nor would we. We just found each other at the wrong time.