To find over parenting and shrill children annoying?

[hoorayforhamsters]

I do accept I have to suck it up and get on with it, but does anyone else find parents being cloyingly attentive and over effusive annoying? I have three sides of our garden occupied with just such parenting. Every breath seems to be the most amazing thing ever done by a child ever. And they are soooooo shrill!

Well, I do because I don't like small children. I've also always made sure I've lived in more adult-centric places (appreciate not everyone can do this).

I dislike how some people pander to children and automatically think they are more important than adults.

But hey, you're going to get flamed on here and I probably will as well so cling on to that hard hat @hoorayforhamsters

Ha ha! I bet I will! Our street used to be blissfully child light, with mostly older people. It's overrun now!!

I like small children, I genuinely do. I had three of them! I just can't bear the over attentive, use a different twee voice style of parenting!!

cloyingly attentive and over effusive

Not terms that I would use but ok.

I dont have (or even really like) kids. They're annoying but we manage to coexist peacefully. I'd take what you describe over a tantrumming/disruptive child while the parent looks on adoringly or better still, ignores them completely because they're too busy chatting

I once lived next to someone who was horrible to his kid - nothing reportable, just grumpy and no bloody fun. I would far rather have people who enjoy being parents than him again.

I think you are being a bit of a scrooge tbh OP.

I agree with you. I saw a woman using 'that voice' with her child on Cbeebies the other day. I wanted to mute the show

I probably agree that I'm a bit of a Scrooge, @beginningoftheend! I guess I'm seeing if I'm the only Scrooge! I wish I could embrace it, but it's just so saccharine!

Do you ever feel tempted to stand outside and swear loudly? Just to see what would happen. Imagine doing it next time they're getting on your last nerve.

Hahahaha! I do a bit! I certainly feel like putting quite loud and slightly inappropriate music on!!

Children grow up though. So this is a time
limited problem.

I really hate that twee high-pitched way of talking to kids. Most people I know manage not to do it, nor do their teachers or childcare providers so why on earth some parents feel the need is beyond me. Oh no, it’s to get approval for how marvellous they are from everyone within a mile’s earshot.

And before the predictable comments land, yes it’s good to talk to children, trust me I spend nearly all day talking or listening to mine, and they’ve managed to learn this skill without a manic CBeebies presents hovering over their shoulder all day long.

@bootlebum

Children grow up though. So this is a time limited problem.

But people keep making more!!

Out of their own home and garden YANBU . It is annoying to see performative parenting. In their own garden that happens to adjoin yours ? Absolutely nothing to do with you and its quite unpleasant to be smug and judgy when they are in their own home.

I grew up in a psychologically abusive household where your self esteem was ground down to nothing. As a result behind closed doors I do praise my DC because screw anyone else if DS1 thinks his minecraft built whatjamacalit is fabulous then it bloody is because what the hell does it matter. Same with DS2 confusing and sightly worrying meccano models which are apparently bananas but are closer to a traumatised cyborg with limb missing. Damn right I praise them for it because only a dick crushes kids in that scenario.

If my neighbour overhears then it says more about them that they think its too cool for school to praise a five year old

Outside in public....I don't disagree over the top performances are irritating but in their own home or garden? They can be as wierd or effusive as they bloody well like.

It's the shrill performance parenting that is a PITA to listen to.

The type that has to loudly show everyone around them how wonderfully intuitive they are with their child, playing to an audience 🙄

Spare me as I collect my bits and move to another bench in the park as far away as possible 🤣

I'll never forget at soft play a father shouting enthusiastically at his daughter on the trampoline 'wow Willow what wonderful bouncing' . Now while I'm sure I'm unreasonable I just couldn't help but think. The kid is just bouncing up and down no acrobatics and, stop being such a sap and enjoy a coffee and the daily mirror or whatever shite paper on offer like the rest of us.

Having had to report an abusive, disgusting parents for mistreating their small child (child now in foster care) I think I could put up with over hearing a bit of over-parenting.

Might be a little annoying but it's not that bad, surely. Learn to zone out.

It's up there with people who baby talk to their pets and use terms like "furbabies".

I don't have kids or even close friends who have small children and the neighbourhood is all ancient. I do have a cat who I love completely but she's a cat who I will eventually have to put to sleep.

@Northernsoullover

I'll never forget at soft play a father shouting enthusiastically at his daughter on the trampoline 'wow Willow what wonderful bouncing' . Now while I'm sure I'm unreasonable I just couldn't help but think. The kid is just bouncing up and down no acrobatics and, stop being such a sap and enjoy a coffee and the daily mirror or whatever shite paper on offer like the rest of us.

I sort of know what you mean, but I think people who are jolly with their kids are a good thing in general. I wouldn;t do this because I am too shy to shout in public, but I wouldn't be bothered by it.

Well, yes, praising and being nice to children is good. And abusing children is undoubtedly a terrible thing. But the solution is not over-involved Loud Parenting. The “great bouncing!” thing hits it on the head. I’d look up and say “wow, you’re having fun there! You’ve gone really high!” every once in a while but the rest of the time I’d drink coffee and enjoy some peace. I don’t stand there complimenting every single move they make. It just ends up as white noise to them anyway, so it’s only for the “benefit” of other adults.

I guess it does being the wider question of what is actually private space. I totally get that I cannot even remotely ask them to turn down their parenting or ask their children to be less shrill. But it is actually shared space, sound wise. If i did have a penchant for music with explicit lyrics, or liked swearing loudly in my garden, they'd absolutely be within their rights to be annoyed by it.

I must learn the skills of zoning out, but I do find it hard!

I dislike how some people pander to children and automatically think they are more important than adults

i don't think children are more important than adults. But my children are more important to me than most adults are.

@hoorayforhamsters

I guess it does being the wider question of what is actually private space. I totally get that I cannot even remotely ask them to turn down their parenting or ask their children to be less shrill. But it is actually shared space, sound wise. If i did have a penchant for music with explicit lyrics, or liked swearing loudly in my garden, they'd absolutely be within their rights to be annoyed by it. I must learn the skills of zoning out, but I do find it hard!

Yeah, you have slipped into being unreasonable now - you can't compare normal family noises to music with explicit lyrics.

I can currently hear my neighbour mowing their grass or doing something. It is noisier than I would like. I live in a built up area. That is life.

I have earbuds and Spotify.😊

I agree with you OP. I also hate helicopter parents.

All forms of over parenting is bad for children, bad for their development and wont create well rounded, well balanced adults.

Overparenting is way better than underparenting. Plus one person's normal attention levels is another's over/under parenting. Most people are just doing what they feel is right and couldn't care less about whether or not you are watching them.