To be annoyed that DH is letting another person use software for free

[User17292127]

AIBU to ask DH to stop allowing another person to access software we use in my and DH's joint business? We've paid for the software so the woman is getting a financial benefit by DH letting her use it for free. The benefit is only a couple of hundred pounds over the course of a year but it's not like she's poor. She has more money than us!

"If you owned a bakery and another friend wanted to use your flour in their bakery, would you give it away for free? I would hope not. Both are products for your business. Pay for your own and no one else's."

Bakeries usually give away any food left at the end of the day that can't be re-sold the next day. By OP's logic that's unfair as the people haven't paid for it so the food should be binned.

This is just very odd indeed.

@topcat2014

I am with the OP. The basic idea is that businesses should behave within the law, and (in due course if needed) rely on the law to support that business - in the courts for contract law or whatever.

This is in breach of the licence for the software. Anyone who does creative work should be against copyright theft.

Bit like the M&S caterpillar cake. Like it or not, M&S claim to have designed the cake, so it is being 'ripped off'.

It's a tiny thing, and almost a 'victimless' crime, but in aggregate not really how society should run itself,

You're not 'with the OP' because this is not OP's concern at all. We know that because she's perfectly happy with the arrangement with the friend who pays for it.

I honestly think this is just about you not liking her and have a bee in your bonnet about her.
You DH was happy to give it to her for free, so why does your say trump his?

Oh, OK -- TL,DR

OP - you can't charge for software either - it is not yours to sell on.

Seriously, if you are running a legitimate business have a look at your ethics..

@Horehound

I honestly think this is just about you not liking her and have a bee in your bonnet about her. You DH was happy to give it to her for free, so why does your say trump his?

You're wrong about me not liking her because I don't know her so I don't know if I like her or not. You might be right that I have the 'bee in a bonnet' as I keep thinking about the lack of logical thinking on his part when he allowed her access.

I know that that is a typical problem for me with NT people and it is something I find frustrating to let go. That people make crazy, illogical decisions that have the potential to cause unnecessary trouble.

Since we are 50:50 business partners, you do have a point about why my say should trump his. He originally made the decision without consulting me, but I think that was an oversight rather than due to any deviousness. When I came to thinking it was problematic we obviously then discussed it properly.

Actually I have had your feelings. I hated the fact my DH let his sister and parents both have an account to his Netflix. It costs him extra when they can all perfectly afford it themselves.
I am not a huge fan of them and it annoyed me every single time we switch on Netflix and there's the accounts sitting there. We were saving for a house and I felt like he was just wasting money.
I'm the grand scheme of things its like an extra £5 or £10 and it's something nice he does for his family so I just got over it.
It's not actually a big deal and was my issue to just get over.

We have always paid for our DC Netflix and I think it's now taken as read that they will always have free access! Even though they're adults. I suppose that might be what has happened with this woman.

@Gwenhwyfar

"If you owned a bakery and another friend wanted to use your flour in their bakery, would you give it away for free? I would hope not. Both are products for your business. Pay for your own and no one else's."

Bakeries usually give away any food left at the end of the day that can't be re-sold the next day. By OP's logic that's unfair as the people haven't paid for it so the food should be binned.

Giving away your own product is different. Giving away the ingredient to allow your competitor to make better or maybe cheaper products than you and outsell you is stupid.

If you read the terms of the licence, he probably shouldn't let other people use it and he definitely shouldn't charge them if he does.

Yeah I think so, op!

DH was forced by Adobe to pay a six figure sum for a full professional license for a product he no longer needed to avoid a court case and even bigger fine.
A six figure sum for a one off error?!?! For an adobe license?! Wtf i think id have taken my chances with a court case. And he actually paid them a six figure sum?

I wonder how it came about? Did he randomly offer? Unlikely, without context. Did the conversation somehow come round to the benefits of the software? Did she ask to try it out? Did he suggest she could use it? Might he have meant for a limited time, then couldn't get out of the 'favour' he'd done as it'd be embarrassing to ask?
Strikes me it's one of those white knight/damsel in distress scenarios.
A mate of mine works with health and fitness software. The guy he shares an office with has in the past asked if he could 'borrow' it for private fitness clients. I notice that my mate finds it difficult to say no, even though that's essentially what he wants to say, as he knows his licence doesn't support that and he'd have to explain why the client's details are not showing up in his Accounts at the end of the year.

"Giving away the ingredient to allow your competitor to make better or maybe cheaper products than you and outsell you is stupid."

I missed where OP said she's a competitor. Even if she is, it doesn't seem to be OP's issue.

Op here’s how the logical thinking could have gone

1. This woman wants a favour. She is able to provide us with referrals for our business - therefore the good will is worth it

1. This woman is a potential client - worth more to us than the additional licence.

1. By providing her the tools to do x it will benefit us as we outsource to her and it makes that easier.

There are so many reasons to do another business owner a favour. I do it all the time, and it helps me - they pass on my details to potential other clients, they use me when the need arises etc.

I can see how your ASD makes this tougher to fathom, but in reality it’s generally how most businesses function.

I think he now feels awkward about how to proceed.

While I agree that a lot of businesses do help others to start out, mostly that would be on a reducing basis as the newer business becomes established. And maybe it's now time to tell jer that after a certain date (specified) , she will no longer be a user on your licence because you are concerned about the legalities/reducing to a single user licence or whatever. Give her time to set uo her own licence and move her data of course.

Sadly the friend has to be given the same "notice".

If he wishes to get out of the arrangement it’s fairly simple. We’ve done an audit of our expenses and have to drop x licence.

This thread is a bit mad. If you take 2 people on a car journey you'll have one who's jumping to pay for half/all of the petrol and the other will think 'I'll get it/help out/do something in the future'or even 'it's not so much so it's not a big deal but it is good of them'. Or maybe the guy insisted and she didn't. I think it's a huge leap that she's taking advantage or op's husband did it for a specific reason.

All the women I know would raise hell if they had found out that their partner had given free access to a woman they didn't know without discussing it with them first, while simultaneously charging their mate for the same thing.
The first thing they'd want to know is: why is she different to my mate? Quickly followed up by 'are you having an affair?'
There are some cool mumsnetters on here who think it's just a 'nice thing to do'
YANBU

@Phoenix121 if my husband thought I was having an affair if I gave someone access to Adobe photoshop, I’d LTB

[quote Fedup1223]@Phoenix121 if my husband thought I was having an affair if I gave someone access to Adobe photoshop, I’d LTB[/quote]
@Fedup1223

I am sure you'd reassure him that all is fine and that you're very sorry for transgressing Adobe rules.

Depends if I was or not. If you pay for an extra licence (as it sounds like they do) you get to choose who uses it.

@RachelRavenR0th it was a five figure sum not a six, i miss counted, thankfully I'm not in charge of company accounts. Fines are unlimited so DH was "invited" to buy a new license or risk incurring legal costs and a very large fine.
I think Adobe went on a trawling mission to catch people out with the kind of misuse they used to overlook, possibly to make up for lower sales during Lockdown, which was nice of them, we had to hand over the entirety of our Covid business loan, fun times.

[quote Wbeezer]@RachelRavenR0th it was a five figure sum not a six, i miss counted, thankfully I'm not in charge of company accounts. Fines are unlimited so DH was "invited" to buy a new license or risk incurring legal costs and a very large fine.
I think Adobe went on a trawling mission to catch people out with the kind of misuse they used to overlook, possibly to make up for lower sales during Lockdown, which was nice of them, we had to hand over the entirety of our Covid business loan, fun times.[/quote]
Are you sure he wasn't taken in by a scammer? I can't see any Adobe product that costs five figures for a licence.

There is a difference between giving something away for free as a business that you legitimately own, which lots of firms may do for commercial reasons, and software theft.