Page 9 | To only serve vegan food at my wedding.

inthewest · 2021-04-23T20:44:47+00:00

My partner and myself are both vegan. We want to serve an only vegan menu from an excellent vegan caterer. I know people aren't a fan of "fake meat" and we've deliberately chosen to not have anything of that sort. Our menu will include many options and will cater to allergies and dietary needs such as celiac. The food is delicious, is very "us" and reflects us as couple. We have had pushback from my partners family. Adult family. I'm fully prepared to cater for children but not adults. Our thinking is that it's one meal.

Feetupteashot · 23/04/2021 22:50

I would welcome it.

The only objection I can imagine is if the objecting family members are paying. It always pisses me off when a restaurant has a set menu for meat and veggies with £1 difference between the two

GreenDragon2 · 23/04/2021 22:51

@Beseigedbykillersquirrels

This is nonsense. A meat eater can quite easily eat one vegan meal. A vegan/vegetarian can’t eat one meat meal in the same way.

Can't, or won't? They are both just preferences. Some people prefer meat/dairy with their meals, vegans prefer to not have meat/dairy with their meals. It's about enjoyment of the meals, isn't it? Vegans often quote that non-vegans can eat a meat free meal just fine, which of course is true, but it wouldn't necessarily be something they would choose or particularly enjoy. But they are expected to just put up with it so others may enjoy their preference as their enjoyment takes priority.

It's not about enjoyment of the meal, it's an ethical decision - not just for food but as a whole way of life.

Would you say a Muslim choses not to eat pork just as a preference, and should have to serve it at their wedding?

Quaagars · 23/04/2021 22:51

@Beseigedbykillersquirrels

This is nonsense. A meat eater can quite easily eat one vegan meal. A vegan/vegetarian can’t eat one meat meal in the same way.

Can't, or won't? They are both just preferences. Some people prefer meat/dairy with their meals, vegans prefer to not have meat/dairy with their meals. It's about enjoyment of the meals, isn't it? Vegans often quote that non-vegans can eat a meat free meal just fine, which of course is true, but it wouldn't necessarily be something they would choose or particularly enjoy. But they are expected to just put up with it so others may enjoy their preference as their enjoyment takes priority.

I'm not vegan, but it's not really a choice as in more about your ethics and morals, and not being able to bring yourself to eat animals. Not comparable to someone choosing to want meat all the time, there's nothing stopping a meat eater having veggie or vegan food for once.

donquixotedelamancha · 23/04/2021 22:51

What kind of grown adult needs meat at every meal to enjoy it?

Lots, just browse through the thread. Not sure where you live but I'm assuming OP is in the UK where eating meat will be the norm.

PurpleDaisies · 23/04/2021 22:52

but understand you are making a conscious choice to provide food some won't enjoy.

Isn’t that a risk at any wedding? I’ve had bad meaty/veggie/vegan food at weddings over the years. It’s the skill of the caterers, not necessarily the menu choice that’s important.

Quaagars · 23/04/2021 22:52

Cross posted with green dragon there!

Iamthewombat · 23/04/2021 22:52

It's your wedding, do what you want to.

Just have what you want, don't tell people in advance.

You Your wedding, your money, your celebration, your choice of food.*

Does anyone posting this stuff actually think about what they are saying?

Why would you not consider your guests’ wishes? All this ‘being invited to your wedding is a privilege’ stuff. Well, I wouldn’t invite friends and relatives to a big celebration, for which they have had to travel and buy new outfits, a present etc., then impose my choices upon them knowing that they would be unpopular.

I wouldn’t force them to eat vegan food. I wouldn’t decide to have a death metal band at the evening reception if that was my favourite music and they could all lump it because my wedding my choice blah blah. I wouldn’t make the only drinks available mead and Irn Bru because I only liked them and my wedding, my money etc. I wouldn’t make elderly relatives sit outside in the cold because my dream was to have a wedding reception under the stars etc etc. It’s just selfish, prima donna behaviour.

thinkingaboutLangCleg · 23/04/2021 22:52

If you would not accept dairy or meat products in the food you were offered, then of COURSE you are being unreasonable to only offer vegan food to the guests at your wedding.

No, this comparison doesn’t work. Animal products are offensive to vegans, but though I eat meat, there’s nothing to offend me in a vegan meal. The lack of meat isn’t offensive.

Happytobejabbed · 23/04/2021 22:53

When my eldest married we only provided vegan food*.
My daughter and partner were vegan and wanted that. We were vegetarian then, vegan now.

We paid for it, that’s what they wanted - we had no problem with that.

I think it was Thai based vegan food - so no fake steaks, bacon etc.

I think we may have provided cows milk.

We’re having a celebration of our 40th over the summer - that’ll be all vegan - including the milk.

boydy99 · 23/04/2021 22:53

We had a vegan wedding a couple of years ago. we served a shepherds pie or curry for main, then sticky toffee pudding with ice cream for dessert. We had (vegan) sausages and mash for the children. We also had a small buffet between the ceremony and evening meal, and a HUGE evening buffet and vegan wedding cake. The food was cooked by a family friend and was absolutely some of the tastiest food I've ever eaten. The buffets were mostly prepared food and included my sisters herby cashew dip and coronation 'chickfree' (with chickpeas), tescos mini sausage rolls, falafel, and other finger foods. We had amazing feedback from the guests, many surprised that vegan food could be so nice and others who had discovered new foods that they still eat now. one of my dads offshore friends is a semi veggie since then - before the wedding would absolutely refuse the vegetarian option when eating out, now he has it if he likes the sound of it. If its what you want, go for it we wouldn't have been happy to serve meat, dairy or eggs at our wedding, it wouldn't have felt right, we are both vegan. Good luck

Ellmau · 23/04/2021 22:53

It's your wedding, serve what you like.

But not all your guests will find the menu as delicious as you, and your in laws probably won't be the only ones to complain.

lobsteroll · 23/04/2021 22:53

I'm not vegan but wouldn't mind in the slightest.

I think it would be really nice actually (if done well) to have something totally different to the typical wedding menu.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 23/04/2021 22:53

@dotdashdashdash no. I remember because it was an interesting thread in the end. It's foreign food poster doesn't eat.
It stuck in my head because it's quite unusual in the UK ehere you can get food from all over the world on one street

chaosrabbitland · 23/04/2021 22:54

it wouldnt bother me at all , i hardly eat any meat as it is and not a lot of diary so i could easily enjoy to eat vegan food , it surprises me that for one bloody meal people are making a fuss like they will keel over and die if they cant eat meat or diary every single day .

PinkiOcelot · 23/04/2021 22:54

@PurpleDaisies it’s actually a perfectly reasonable question. If the OP would not be happy to eat meat or dairy at someone else’s wedding, then they should not palm off a vegan menu on their guests.
OP, would you eat meet or dairy at a non vegan wedding?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/04/2021 22:54

Interesting about all the mushroom hate! I guess don’t make mushrooms the only choice...

I agree with those who say it’ll be miles better than a piece of dry chicken - that’s the one thing I wouldn’t want to see at a wedding (mind you I’d eat it, but I’m not a vegan)

cheesebubble · 23/04/2021 22:55

@PurpleDaisies

As if Indian food and vegan shite is even comparable.

I think you’re on the wind up here. How can anyone not realise curries etc don’t need to have meat or dairy in them to taste good?

I am just quietly reading and that's what I just thought: I make loads of vegan curries at home but we do eat meat. I cannot take this poster seriously any longer

dotdashdashdash · 23/04/2021 22:56

@TheKeatingFive

but understand you are making a conscious choice to provide food some won't enjoy.

What kind of grown adult needs meat at every meal to enjoy it?

What kind of grown adult needs to enjoy every meal?

donquixotedelamancha · 23/04/2021 22:56

Isn’t that a risk at any wedding? I’ve had bad meaty/veggie/vegan food at weddings over the years.

Of course. We went for very 'safe' food options because the big party with everyone included was the most important bit.

If personal preference of any kind matters more then it's fine for the couple to have what they want- but not OK for them to be put out by absences or people moaning.

Crosstrainer · 23/04/2021 22:56

What kind of grown adult needs meat at every meal to enjoy it?

You’re mixing up two things there, though - there’s need and there’s enjoyment. My DH would eat whatever was served up to him as a guest, without complaint. But I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t enjoy a vegan main meal. Not to say he wouldn’t/couldn’t eat it, but it’d be a case of “I was hungry and ate the food that was there and kindly provided for me as a guest” rather than “I really enjoyed my dinner”.

Posyc · 23/04/2021 22:57

Have you invited a bunch of toddlers to your wedding by mistake? Will there be tears and tantrums if they don't get their favourite dinner?
Honestly can't believe there are people kicking up a fuss about trying something new for one meal. A meal that they are not even paying for.
You need to stop worrying and they need to get a grip!

Slightlydustcovered · 23/04/2021 22:57

It’s a different choice to have a dry wedding. Vegans drink alcohol. Lots of options available. I agree that tea and coffee are a problem so possibly best avoided.

Wine and beer was not served as the bride and groom exclude it as part of their vegan diets. Something to do with 'fining' as part of the process.

HowWeAre · 23/04/2021 22:58

YANBU and I’d tell anyone who it was an issue for to not bother coming. Surely they can survive without meat and dairy for one day?

Novelusername · 23/04/2021 22:58

People can be real dick heads about vegetarians and vegans. It's one thing to enjoy eating a juicy steak a quite another the level some people stoop to in order to put down veggies and vegans. I can only assume it comes from a place of guilt. Absolutely have your wedding exactly as you want it, but have retorts at the ready for all the snarky, judgemental comments and sad fuckers nipping out to the cob shop for bacon butties and eating them in front of you because they simply can't bare to accept going meat free for just one meal.

WiddlinDiddlin · 23/04/2021 22:59

Get some samples and get a non-vegan to try them.

Loads of vegan food is really lovely and lots of it is stuff non vegan people every day without ever considering that it is vegan.

However some vegan food is only lovely once your tastebuds have adapted and forgotten what the non-vegan version tasted like, so having a non-vegan sample some of your menu would get round that issue.

I have just spent a week cooking vegan and eating mostly veggie and vegan food, its really not hard at all and asides from some vegan 'sheese' mozzerella style stuff I don't think we had any 'fake' food at all.

I don't (and I am not vegan or vegetarian) understand what all this 'force people to eat vegan food' crap is about. Do folk not ever eat fruit, veg, pulses, bread...

There is loads of accidentally vegan food not marketed at vegans and although it is harder if you are a stickler for cross contamination (for example, standard oreos are vegan but not labelled as such as they are made in a factory that also makes uses milk based products), it's not remotely difficult unless of course, someone wants to MAKE it difficult!