Page 10 | To only serve vegan food at my wedding.

inthewest · 2021-04-23T20:44:47+00:00

My partner and myself are both vegan. We want to serve an only vegan menu from an excellent vegan caterer. I know people aren't a fan of "fake meat" and we've deliberately chosen to not have anything of that sort. Our menu will include many options and will cater to allergies and dietary needs such as celiac. The food is delicious, is very "us" and reflects us as couple. We have had pushback from my partners family. Adult family. I'm fully prepared to cater for children but not adults. Our thinking is that it's one meal.

SionnachRua · 23/04/2021 23:00

As long as the food is nice and there's plenty of it I don't see the problem. People can skip meat for one meal ffs.

I've been to one vegan wedding - the portions were TINY and shite, so loads of guests went down the road for a burger or similar. The bride went apeshit about meat being eaten at her wedding (carpark) but if she'd fed her guests properly there wouldn't be a problem.

TheKeatingFive · 23/04/2021 23:02

But I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t enjoy a vegan main meal.

Well perhaps he needs to educate his palate then, because there’s plenty more delicious food in the world beyond steak.

The fact that he hasn’t done this would not be the OP’s problem.

donquixotedelamancha · 23/04/2021 23:03

I’d tell anyone who it was an issue for to not bother coming. Surely they can survive without meat and dairy for one day?

You could a reading or poem along those lines as part of the service.

TheKeatingFive · 23/04/2021 23:03

Honestly can't believe there are people kicking up a fuss about trying something new for one meal. A meal that they are not even paying for.

It’s genuinely pathetic

tabulahrasa · 23/04/2021 23:04

@Iamthewombat

It's your wedding, do what you want to.

Just have what you want, don't tell people in advance.

You Your wedding, your money, your celebration, your choice of food.*

Does anyone posting this stuff actually think about what they are saying?

Why would you not consider your guests’ wishes? All this ‘being invited to your wedding is a privilege’ stuff. Well, I wouldn’t invite friends and relatives to a big celebration, for which they have had to travel and buy new outfits, a present etc., then impose my choices upon them knowing that they would be unpopular.

I wouldn’t force them to eat vegan food. I wouldn’t decide to have a death metal band at the evening reception if that was my favourite music and they could all lump it because my wedding my choice blah blah. I wouldn’t make the only drinks available mead and Irn Bru because I only liked them and my wedding, my money etc. I wouldn’t make elderly relatives sit outside in the cold because my dream was to have a wedding reception under the stars etc etc. It’s just selfish, prima donna behaviour.

Not once has anyone planned a wedding round my wishes as a guest... that’s not how people plan weddings.

No-ones ever served me a 3 course chocolate meal or given me cocktails to toast the speeches with.

pencilpot99 · 23/04/2021 23:05

Vegan food aka food

vimtosogood · 23/04/2021 23:05

@Novelusername

People can be real dick heads about vegetarians and vegans. It's one thing to enjoy eating a juicy steak a quite another the level some people stoop to in order to put down veggies and vegans. I can only assume it comes from a place of guilt. Absolutely have your wedding exactly as you want it, but have retorts at the ready for all the snarky, judgemental comments and sad fuckers nipping out to the cob shop for bacon butties and eating them in front of you because they simply can't bare to accept going meat free for just one meal.

Vegans have to put up with a few comments? Last time I checked they were vandalising butchers shops, and normal people are not doing the same to vegan restaurants.

Ontheboardwalk · 23/04/2021 23:05

I've tried to like mushrooms thinking it was like olives where you suddenly liked them but nope

I so want to like garlic mushrooms and other recipes but I just can’t. I’m happy to move them to side of plate but just can’t eat them

Ohnomoreno · 23/04/2021 23:06

I suppose it depends whether you think weddings are for you or for your family. Personally I think they're for family, the marriage is the bit that's for you. But most people don't think that.

HowWeAre · 23/04/2021 23:06

Also it’s not about just providing a meal for everyone’s tastes. Veganism is a life style one follows because it aligns with your own personal ethics and morals. To provide a non vegan menu you would be spending money on the meat and dairy industry and personally that is something I wouldn’t be happy with doing. That would probably bother me more than than serving the meat at the wedding, it wouldn’t be about being near meat or anything like that as that’s unavoidable in life. I respect everyone’s choices as to what they do and don’t eat and by no means am I a preachy vegan (or ever really mention it to anyone for fear of being judged) but I wouldn’t be happy putting my own money into those industries because a few people weren’t happy eating some veg for one meal.

The people complaining are asking you to do much more than provide a non vegan option IMO.

SionnachRua · 23/04/2021 23:06

I'll swap with you @Ontheboardwalk , I've tried to train myself into eating olives but no joy. I reckon I can eat my own weight in mushrooms though

nocoolnamesleft · 23/04/2021 23:07

How can you eat mushrooms? The texture literally makes me gag.

Novelusername · 23/04/2021 23:08

@SionnachRua

As long as the food is nice and there's plenty of it I don't see the problem. People can skip meat for one meal ffs.

I've been to one vegan wedding - the portions were TINY and shite, so loads of guests went down the road for a burger or similar. The bride went apeshit about meat being eaten at her wedding (carpark) but if she'd fed her guests properly there wouldn't be a problem.

I don't blame the bride at all, they did it to provoke her on her wedding day. Some meat-eaters see it as an ideological war and have to literally rub it in vegans faces, they get off on it. If atheists can bare to sit in a church for the sake of a wedding, meat eaters should be able to accept not eating meat out of respect for the happy couple.

Itsokthanks · 23/04/2021 23:08

If course yanbu. Meat eaters can eat anything so the comments about would you be happy only being served meat or dairy at a wedding are stupid. If people can't go a day without meat or dairy that's just weird.

Crosstrainer · 23/04/2021 23:09

Well perhaps he needs to educate his palate then

Why? We all have our own preferences. We are allowed to. Those are his. As an adult, it’s rightly expected that you don’t always have those preferences catered to. So it’s unreasonable for guests of the OP to complain about the food she serves if they accept her invitation....but it’s not unreasonable if they don’t enjoy it. My point is simply that it’s up to her what she chooses: her preference for food or the enjoyment of her guests. She can’t insist that they enjoy something that they don’t.

Novelusername · 23/04/2021 23:09

vimtosogood militant vegans are also dick heads, just as are militant meat eaters.

SEE123 · 23/04/2021 23:09

Your wedding - your way!
Everyone will moan about the food regardless, you may as well have whatever you like. I also totally agree with previous poster who said not paying for a meal that isn't in line with your family values.

donquixotedelamancha · 23/04/2021 23:10

If atheists can bare to sit in a church for the sake of a wedding, meat eaters should be able to accept not eating meat out of respect for the happy couple.

I'm confused, is this a nudist wedding now?

Thatisnotwhatisaid · 23/04/2021 23:11

It’s one meal, they won’t die. You might even convert a few of them .

SionnachRua · 23/04/2021 23:11

I don't blame the bride at all, they did it to provoke her on her wedding day. Some meat-eaters see it as an ideological war and have to literally rub it in vegans faces, they get off on it. If atheists can bare to sit in a church for the sake of a wedding, meat eaters should be able to accept not eating meat out of respect for the happy couple.

If she'd fed her guests a reasonable sized meal I'd agree with you. As it was, people were hungry and had to go off-site to fill up before returning. As they were buying their own food I'd be inclined to say that they can get what they like. Feeding people enough matters, the lack of food is the main thing people remember about that wedding now.

Novelusername · 23/04/2021 23:12

donquixotedelamancha yes

tiredvommachine · 23/04/2021 23:13

As long as there are veGAN sausage rolls.

Ontheboardwalk · 23/04/2021 23:13

@SionnachRua

I'll swap with you *@Ontheboardwalk* , I've tried to train myself into eating olives but no joy. I reckon I can eat my own weight in mushrooms though

It’s strange isn’t it!

What I find most disturbing in people who try and tell you you are wrong and should be eating the mushroom and olive salad and deal with it

I’m all for vegetarian/vegan wedding menus but give me and SionnachRua choices

Novelusername · 23/04/2021 23:13

SionnachRua fair enough, it's true that vegan food can be less filling, so portion sizes need to be adequate.

littlepattilou · 23/04/2021 23:14

@Beseigedbykillersquirrels

Can't, or won't? They are both just preferences. Some people prefer meat/dairy with their meals, vegans prefer to not have meat/dairy with their meals. It's about enjoyment of the meals, isn't it? Vegans often quote that non-vegans can eat a meat free meal just fine, which of course is true, but it wouldn't necessarily be something they would choose or particularly enjoy. But they are expected to just put up with it so others may enjoy their preference as their enjoyment takes priority.

This in spades. ^

But if anyone DARES (on mumsnet) to say anything negative about vegans/veganism, and how they think some of them are selfish, for expecting non-vegans to accommodate them, but never budging an INCH to return the favour, they get called stupid, thick, foolish, and an idiot, and other demeaning insults...

Fact is, vegans DO often want things their own way, and never ever even ATTEMPT to return the favour. We know several vegans, so I am aware I am projecting somewhat, but they piss me (and DH) off so much, that we just won't go to their house for a meal anymore.

If we pop in for a coffee, we get that vile soy milk shite, which curdles as soon as it hits the coffee, and they never buy any biscuits in, or any non-vegan snacks. They don't have to fucking COOK or BAKE anything, just bloody buy something. And don't give me this 'it's against their beliefs' spiel, because I may just start to create beliefs of my own, that don't bloody suit them!

We have started to take our own milk, and snacks and biscuits when we visit any home of vegans, just so we don't bloody starve.

We have ALWAYS catered to them, by spending extra money on soy milk, and buying, making, and preparing vegan food. Extra money, and extra time, on giving our vegan guests what they want, with fuck-all given back - ever.

So as I said, we never have meals at their house now, and never invite them to ours for anything. Me and DH always insist we eat out. OR just have a coffee and take our own milk.

So yeah, maybe I AM projecting a bit, because I am sick to death of vegans wanting everything their own way, and never giving anything in return, because 'it's against their beliefs.' It's bloody rude, it's very selfish, and it's very unwelcoming.

As a few posters have said, have only vegan food at your wedding if you want, but don't expect all of your guests to be happy with it, or even want to come! And like it or not, a wedding is not ALL about the bride and groom; it's about making the guests happy and comfortable too.

And no-one is being a 'dickhead' about vegans. The ones who are speaking against them have probably had a bellyful of them, with their narrow-mindedness selfishness, and their entitled attitude.

By they way , the OP asked for peoples views, and I gave mine, and mine are just as valid as anyone else's, so to the posters, goading and insulting me, just bore off with your personal insults aimed at me. And you'll be wasting your time anyway, because I am done on this thread now, especially as the OP has not been back since her first post!