To only serve vegan food at my wedding.

[inthewest]

My partner and myself are both vegan. We want to serve an only vegan menu from an excellent vegan caterer. I know people aren't a fan of "fake meat" and we've deliberately chosen to not have anything of that sort. Our menu will include many options and will cater to allergies and dietary needs such as celiac. The food is delicious, is very "us" and reflects us as couple.

We have had pushback from my partners family. Adult family. I'm fully prepared to cater for children but not adults. Our thinking is that it's one meal.

My only request would be no vegan 'cheese' things - it is repulsive. Bring on the mushrooms though

Why not? You’re catering for the most important thing - allergies - anyone who can’t go 18 hours without meat or dairy without finding it offensive is a childish moaner

@Crankley

I don't eat most of what makes food vegan so would probably suggest to you I would be happy to attend the evening part of your wedding as I wouldn't want you to waste money on food that won't be eaten by me..

You don't eat

Vegetables
Fruit
Nuts
Seeds
Lentils
Beans
Rice
Pasta
Bread
Humous
Etc

??

You literally just eat meat/fish/dairy?

But I've politely eaten a plain fruit starter and dessert with a limp salad main at plenty of weddings over the years, smiled and nodded that it was great and just enjoyed being part of the day

Ah that’s what they always feed coeliacs / gluten intolerant people at weddings, I didn’t realise it was the vegan option. Once I was brought an apple for desert at a wedding , while everyone else around me tucked into a choice of amazing cakes and puddings.

I went to a wedding - easily 20 yes ago now where the bride had a completely vegan menu and it was amazing! I think a lot of the family and guests were meat eaters usually and some were vegetarian.
It's not like your guests will be deprived at all and they are coming to celebrate you and your partner and the values you hold dear. Have a wonderful day!

The food is delicious, is very "us" and reflects us as couple.

Can I ask how the food reflects you as a couple? When I got married, both times, the food was just food. We didn’t think of it as something which might reflect anything. We just served what we thought our guests wanted to eat (both times they got given menus to order what they wanted). We didn’t think of it as anything to do with us as a couple. I’m genuinely interested in this idea that food at your wedding reflects you as a couple.

@littlepattilou why would someone who fundamentally disagrees with the slaughter of animals allow it at their wedding?

Unless you fundamentally disagree with the cooking of carrots, it's not comparable.

Vegan food is bland cack
You sound like my kids lol
Me whenever I buy Oreos or whatever 'sorry, they're vegan, you won't like them, get off, they're all mine!"
Them - ah but we like those, they're accidentally vegan!'
Me lol

I remember a friend of mine in a panic as she was a vegetarian going to a wedding with a bbq dinner, it was fine, there was a vegetarian option but if she had known before it would have saved her a lot of anxiety. The thought of plates of chicken bones and being served a rare steak meant she didn't enjoy the day.

I'd pop a note of the menu in with your invites and info. You're maybe getting pushback over fear of the unknown. Hope you have a lovely wedding.

It's your wedding, do what you want to.

I'm just really desperate for OP to come back and tell us the bloody menu 🍿
For all we know it could be water crackers and half a bite of dust.

Otherwise, I'd be really happy having vegan food at a wedding.

Also, vegan shawarma is the bee's knees.

I remember @Crankley from another thread about food. I see you weren't just pulling our leg there😳

Just have what you want, don't tell people in advance. Say non committal things like 'oh the food will be amazing, don't worry' and 'the menu isn't finalised yet because there are so many delicious things to choose from!'
Militant meat eaters are worse than militant vegans, so defensive - scared they will be converted and become the butt of their mates' jokes. (I am a meat eater if it matters).

I'm a meat eater but I think I'd quite enjoy the experience. YANBU.

What do you plan to have on the menu?

I don't eat most of what makes food vegan

So an exclusively meat/fish/dairy diet with no vegetables, fruit, grain or nuts. You might want to just force yourself to add a few prunes.

@littlepattilou

As long as you are OK with going to someone's wedding, or party, or 'evening meal' and only being offered dairy and meat products, then yeah, go ahead and only offer vegan food at your wedding.

If you would not accept dairy or meat products in the food you were offered, then of COURSE you are being unreasonable to only offer vegan food to the guests at your wedding.

I can't believe you even have to ask!

Apples and oranges. There’s nothing ethical which is stopping a meat eater from eating something vegan or vegetarian given that no meat eater eats purely meat for breakfast, lunch and dinner seven days a week.

I'm vegan (partner isnt) and were having a mostly vegan wedding soon, possibly with the odd veggie option (e.g. cheese sprinkling). I haven't even thought of it as being an issue, everyone who's invited knows I'm vegan and I'm sure are expecting mostly vegan options. Options include veg soup, bruchetta, nut roast, pasta dish, crumble.. nothing awful?

I dont really understand the argument of saying vegans dont 'cater' to meat eaters. Veganism is an ethical choice - the idea of meat being at the wedding upsets me. Meat eaters not having meat aren't having their ethics opposed, they're just having a slightly different diet for a day.

It's your wedding, if correct dieters want to eat something nice I assume the venue has a restaurant?

So it’s one of those post and run threads then.

I think a vegetarian wedding is fine. Vegan, not so much.

But I’m not convinced this thread wasn’t set up as a purely goady thread...

I wouldn’t really care. Wedding meals are fairly awful anyway. But I would not attend a wedding thrown by someone with the attitude it’s my wedding and therefore my rules, as spouted by several PPs.

Guests spend a lot to attend weddings and it’s plain rude to not think about their wants and needs.

@Loshad

I also like stuffed peppers. Highjacking thread for ideas (not my wedding, one of my dcs) Main wedding meal is hog roast Followed by crepe van for pudding Fish and chip van in evening who will do veggie battered sausages 😳

I have been trialling things for veggies ( no known vegans atm) but if stuffed peppers are 🤨 then ?

Will the chip van cook in veggie oil & separately?

Battered halloumi
Pea fritters

Hog Roast -I usually end up with a bread roll and apple sauce🤣🤣. Will there be any veg? I'm an easy pleased vegetarian at big events as I hate to be a bother.

We cook few vegan meals every now and then and they are absolutely delicious. You wouldn’t know that the meals were vegan.
People have preconceived ideas about veg and veggie meals thinking that they are just cooked grass 🤣
And omg my local soft play centre (precovid) used to sell a heavenly vegan choc cake. You wouldn’t know it’s vegan... yum yum and yummmmmm!
Go for it x

I went to a buffet where a few carnivorous guests had kicked up a fuss and demanded their meat. The hosts supplied it but the most of the guests then hoovered up all the vegetarian food so the vegetarians were left with all the meat.

Your wedding, your money, your celebration, your choice of food.

Will you be checking that guests don't have leather shoes, etc?

Presumably the bride and groom won’t be paying for the guests’ shoes, or eating them?