To only serve vegan food at my wedding.

[inthewest]

My partner and myself are both vegan. We want to serve an only vegan menu from an excellent vegan caterer. I know people aren't a fan of "fake meat" and we've deliberately chosen to not have anything of that sort. Our menu will include many options and will cater to allergies and dietary needs such as celiac. The food is delicious, is very "us" and reflects us as couple.

We have had pushback from my partners family. Adult family. I'm fully prepared to cater for children but not adults. Our thinking is that it's one meal.

@forinborin

I am not vegan but on this thread only to see the menu. From my very small-minded perspective, vegan options are not very compatible with what I would see as festive / haute cuisine catering... vegetarian I can see, but totally lost with vegan. Here to educate myself.

I have a friend who is vegan. I've found lots of great ideas on Pinterest (search on vegan dinner party recipes)

@littlepattilou

As long as you are OK with going to someone's wedding, or party, or 'evening meal' and only being offered dairy and meat products, then yeah, go ahead and only offer vegan food at your wedding.

If you would not accept dairy or meat products in the food you were offered, then of COURSE you are being unreasonable to only offer vegan food to the guests at your wedding.

I can't believe you even have to ask!

It’s not even remotely similar - Vegans don’t eat dairy or meat products - assuming the non vegans are omnivores then they will be able to eat all the food on offer - just because the food is vegan it’s not excluding anyone especially as the OP says she will be catering for all wife’s and coeliac’s.

Delicious food is delicious food and totally not defined by the amount of meat or dairy products it contains.

OP of course your ANBU!

If your both vegan I can’t see any guests expecting a sirloin of beef dish.

Virtually all the young people I know -18-30 - are vegan. It is normal now.

@speakout I don't routinely eat vegan meals A bag of crisps or a banana is not a meal.

I've no problem with a vegan menu if it was suitable for a coeliac, I just don't think it's accurate to say that a lot of people eat vegan meals a lot of the time without realising as there'll often be dairy present.

If you are vegan for ethical reasons I would definitely not expect you to serve other people animal products. I'm a meat eater but would be more than happy to eat vegan for a day - in fact I'd be excited by the novelty. My 6 year old would also give it a go but as a wedding is a long event we'd like to look at the menu ahead of time to check it includes something she's going to like otherwise we might quietly pack some snacks for her.

I do eat meat and dairy but this list sounds amazing - definitely something for everyone

I’d struggle.

@Solasum

As an committed carnivore, I would have no problem with a special wedding meal being vegetarian, but if I knew it was vegan I wouldn’t be looking forward to it at all. I have tried various vegan recipes, but I just can’t find the same enjoyment in vegan food. Pulses especially.

I thought we went to weddings to celebrate the marriage of our nearest and dearest rather then to get a free meal cooked to our tastes? The OP wants (quite rightly) that the celebration be reflective of their values how sad that anyone should “not be looking forward to” joining with that

@LucyFox

My major concern would be that I have some food allergies & they are to things that are very common in vegetarian/vegan food (tomatoes & mushrooms being two ...) I know I am safe with plain vegetables but people do insist on covering them in sauces and things which often contain ingredients I can’t eat. I have been to more than one event where the food was vegetarian “ so everyone can eat it” and literally the only thing I could eat was the bread roll/naan.

Do you not ever tell anyone? If I'm going to an event where food is provided, I always say I can't eat onion or garlic.

@Foolintherain

I'd be straight to McDonalds on the way home. But you do what suits you.

Why?

At our wedding breakfast we only had 2 options. One option included meat/dairy and so we made the other one vegan.

The vegan menu was vegetable antipasti with breads, olive oil, vinegar etc, followed by vegetable tagine with couscous and flaked almonds and harissa, and then an egg- and dairy-free chocolate torte. We had some guests who were both vegan and coeliac and the above was adapted for them easily enough (gf bread, quinoa instead of couscous).

We had cupcakes instead of a big wedding cake, so had several flavours some of which were vegan - I think we had a lovely lemon and polenta one that was. We had a cheeseboard for the evening buffet and had a couple of vegan "cheeses" - if it had been all vegan could have included hummus or other dips too.

The menu seemed to go down well with the vegans and vegetarian guests, and some of the meat eaters chose the vegan options for the breakfast too. I do eat meat but wouldn't mind a menu like that at a wedding at all.

@Iklboo it's been years since I made Red Dragon Pie! I think I might have to do it soon :)
I'm veggie but this week I shall be eating vegan sushi and it's one of my favourite things.

I've had incredible food at vegan food only weddings, and I am not vegan. There's way more flavour and variety than I think a lot of non vegans realise. Its your wedding, go for it!

Is this, in fact, the longest thread ever to occur, where the OP has not returned? Certainly caused a stir.

In case you do come back, OP, have vegan food at your wedding by all means. Personally, I would love it. But if your family is anything like my family, it might be all they remember about your wedding day for years to come. 'Remember that wedding with all the weird food?' I wouldn't care in the least, but DP would be full of regrets about the fact that some people weren't happy.

It would be interesting to see the actual menu.

So many people on this thread are so keen to emphasise how “delicious” vegan food is. If you say so.

Quite. I notice the list of delicious vegan meals someone posted also included ‘plain rice’ as well as ‘salad with dressing’.

I'd prefer a vegan to a vegetarian menu because I can't eat dairy and so many go-to vegetarian options at events are fucking lasagne, risotto (you don't even need to use cheese to make this) or goat's cheese tart.

YANBU

OP, I am vegan also and I am sure your guests won’t expect you to serve them non-vegan food.

Assuming you are vegan for ethical reasons, please don’t feel pressured to spend using your money to support animal exploitation!

I used "haute cuisine" more in jest here, I agree with a previous poster that it does not necessarily equal tasty. But, cheese nd butter usually improves any dish, and I cannot think out of top of my head of any vegan dessert in my life that I tried and liked. But as I said, I really want to explore it more - I am ordering now a vegetarian recipe box from one of popular services, and it goes surprisingly smoothly.

Thai desserts are the answer here. Try some mango sticky rice, Thai fried banana or bua loi, my favourites.

Virtually all the young people I know -18-30 - are vegan. It is normal now.

It’s 3% of the population according to 2020 research. Far from normal.

As has been said it's your choice- and your decision to foist your beliefs on your guests.

I'd bring my own food to such a wedding!

@PastMyBestBeforeDate - ooh vegan sushi sounds interesting. What do you have?

Of course it's not unreasonable. It's your wedding and you don't want it full of meat. That's totally understandable. Vegans usually do put up with a lot of rubbish meals and lack of choice whether that be on airlines or functions - and often get forgotten even (that is my experience from my vegan friends at least). So I think the comment about vegans getting special treatment and not meateaters is particularly unreasonable in that context. I think though that it might be an idea either to let people know the menu or to provide some level of choice within it? I was just about to generalise about some families members can be more traditional about food than others but realised that might be a not quite fair thing to say and is changing all the time. Put it this way - some people in my family could be a bit inflexible about some foods for example. So giving some level of choice might be an idea. But a vegan caterer that really knows what they are doing should be able to produce something delicious for everyone. I think it's only when you go to non-veggie or vegan places and ask them to do something vegan it can be unimaginative or untasty...again that's a generalisation (argh) because there are loads of great restaurants able to do both. But I just mean that in the functions or situations I've been where bad or unimaginative food has been produced it's often been the case the vegan has been the add-on and the main focus the meat options. So maybe that gives people a bad idea of how good really great vegan food can be.

@ConstantlyChanging

Virtually all the young people I know -18-30 - are vegan. It is normal now.

It’s 3% of the population according to 2020 research. Far from normal.

30% of 18-24 year olds are vegan.

I think it would be rather odd for a vegan couple to serve meat at their wedding. I wouldn't expect any.

Having said that, I don't have any friends who are vegan, they're too intelligent to think that you can have a healthy diet whilst also restricting their intake of vital nutrients and amino acids.