To only serve vegan food at my wedding.

[inthewest]

My partner and myself are both vegan. We want to serve an only vegan menu from an excellent vegan caterer. I know people aren't a fan of "fake meat" and we've deliberately chosen to not have anything of that sort. Our menu will include many options and will cater to allergies and dietary needs such as celiac. The food is delicious, is very "us" and reflects us as couple.

We have had pushback from my partners family. Adult family. I'm fully prepared to cater for children but not adults. Our thinking is that it's one meal.

I'd be really surprised to go to a wedding between two vegans and be served meat or dairy. It would be like going to a Jewish or Muslim wedding and being served pork. Really, really weird.

Wedding food is often only ok, or a token representation of 'nice' anyway. Sometimes it's afternoon tea, or a buffet. So long as there is food and drink, all will be fine.

I suspect your food will be fresher and tastier than a lot of wedding food.

@PurpleDaisies

I don’t understand why people keep banging on about allergies. Allergies are an issue for any meal.

I think it's a response mainly to me- for whom most wedding meals (meat and 2 veg usually) cause no issue, but a vegan one probably would.

And again, they won’t enjoy a plant based meal why?

How should I know? 🙄

Because they don't enjoy plant based food and are a meat and carbs type person? Because they're really unhealthy veg-dodgers. Because they have the opinion that vegans are unhealthily or that vegans are woke, hippy whingers who should get over it and eat a burger?

Lots of reasons and many of them likely to be unreasonable.

However, as host for anything, if you want happy guests then you have to, to a point, embrace their unreasonable-ness.

It's also why I provided a very pleasant outdoor smoking area at my wedding, despite the smokers' (in my mind) clear lack of reason!

I'd like this, it'd be a nice change.

You're not stopping anybody from having a traditional breakfast if they require. Agree, it's one meal.

One thing this thread has taught me is how many people are desperate to let everyone know that vegan food is "delicious"

@PurpleDaisies

I don’t understand why people keep banging on about allergies. Allergies are an issue for any meal.

They are but in a traditional meat and 2 veg wedding meal it’s very easy to see the ingredients or just request the meal without a certain part for example the gravy or cauliflower cheese etc

Maybe read a few of the other things she’s posted about her family member to give you the context

I read her posts, thank you, and I understand the context. I still think that your post was unnecessarily spiteful.

They are but in a traditional meat and 2 veg wedding meal it’s very easy to see the ingredients or just request the meal without a certain part for example the gravy or cauliflower cheese etc

You wouldn’t usually know in advance what the meal would be. Anyone with a genuine allergy would be contacting the couple to let them know.

“They are but in a traditional meat and 2 veg wedding meal it’s very easy to see the ingredients or just request the meal without a certain part for example the gravy or cauliflower cheese etc”

Not in my experience it’s not... it’s often pre-plated and they can’t change it.

I know because I’ve tried.

I’m not vegan i love meat

As I’m a fairly good cook I don’t find it difficult to cook delicious vegan dishes

As many of us will eat without giving it a second thought until it’s labelled vegan

I don’t like vegan food is the 2021 version or I don’t like any foreign muck from the 70’s

@KihoBebiluPute

Of course yanbu. No one reasonable would expect vegans to arrange for meat to be supplied for others to eat. Veganism isn't a matter of tastes or preferences but an ethical position. Anyone who isn't prepared to eat a vegan meal really doesn't need to come. Those who love and respect you will be fine to go along with ensuring that you get a wedding day that fits with your deeply held beliefs.

"Veganism isn't a matter of tastes or preferences but an ethical position."

To be clear here - veganism CAN BE an ethical position, sometimes it is based on tastes and preferences. I am not a vegan, but I don't eat any land-based meat. The ethics of not eating it appeals to me, but I don't eat it because I hate the taste, the texture, the thought of chewing on meat and the way it sits in your stomach in a way that suggests my body isn't designed to eat it.

Just to add I plan on having a vegan wedding and whilst I’ve not sat down to book the food, in my head I know what I want.

As I will be having a December wedding I plan on having roast style dinner laid out kind of in a Carvery fashion with all the trimmings. No meat and no dairy.

Anyone who doesn’t want the ‘vegan options’ can take all the veg they want, the only thing they they’ll be missing is the meat. I’ve planned this very deliberately because I know lots of people eat these things and can’t complain I’m serving things they would never eat. If they feel up for taking some nut roast, vegan Yorkshire puddings or vegan pigs in blankets they can but certainly don’t have to. Things can be vegan without seeming ‘too vegan’. Also plan on having a few things like chips for the fussier eaters.

However, as host for anything, if you want happy guests then you have to, to a point, embrace their unreasonable-ness.

To what degree though? You can’t deliver everyone’s favourite meal to them, that’s just silly. Or cater to all preferences. What’s so magical about meat (often very badly cooked in these sorts of situations) that means all these people can’t enjoy their day without it?

Re allergies, are people really allergic to vegetables? I take it there will be a choice so people can avoid things which may upset them-and say they have special dietary requirements re gluten-as they would at a non vegan event. Dairy and shellfish tend to be the main culprits which obviously won’t be on the menu. But seriously, people need to get a grip. Do people really attend weddings as some kind of return on the money they’ve shelled out? I’ve attended weddings where the food wasn’t great but enjoyed the day regardless as it’s great to see people you love being happy.

@Iamthewombat

Maybe read a few of the other things she’s posted about her family member to give you the context

I read her posts, thank you, and I understand the context. I still think that your post was unnecessarily spiteful.

Please do report any post that breaks talk guidelines - MN will delete my post if they think it does.

You might want to also report the other post that said exactly the same as I did - just for the sake of consistency.

• Some dishes: Potato salad Numerous salads with different dressing Couscous with roasted vegetables Vegetable curry - aloo gobi, saag aloo, chana masala, Lentil curry Lots of Middle Eastern dishes french beans with chilli and garlic, rice with spinach and chick peas Plain rice Rice with spices and nuts Ratatouille Pastries with various vegetable fillings *

I do eat meat and dairy but this list sounds amazing - definitely something for everyone

Re allergies, are people really allergic to vegetables?

Celery is a really common allergen. As are strawberries. And soya. I'm allergic to beans (including soya to various degrees), lentils and chickpeas. I don't need an epi pen but I've previously been hospitalised due to intestinal bleeding from it.

@RufustheBadgeringReindeer

indian food is LUSH. Vegan food is bland cack

What about indian vegan food

Good point. India has the biggest vegetarian population in the world. Not quite so sure about vegan.

It’s fine

(And good call to avoid the fake meat!)

Have fun

Re allergies, are people really allergic to vegetables?

People can be allergic to anything.

Do you really not eat ANY vegetables at all? Not even salad, or chips, or onion rings? That's really amazing actually. How do you get enough fibre? Do you eat fruit?

I wish people would stop pretending this is what would be on the menu for a vegan wedding.

When people say they don’t eat vegan food, they mean the kind of vegan recipes you would see on a vegan menu or a vegan cook book. If those examples were of “vegan food” you wouldn’t find so many vegans pissing and moaning that restaurants don’t have vegan options because every menu has those on it.

However, as host for anything, if you want happy guests then you have to, to a point, embrace their unreasonable-ness.

You just cannot do this. We had a buffet (of the meat/side of salmon and posh salad variety) precisely to give people a choice of foods to try to meet everyone's requirements.
One friend told me that her parents wouldn't dream of putting on a buffet at a wedding, it was 'cheap' not to have a meal served to your table.
One of my aunts said we were showing off and should just have gone with sandwiches and sausage rolls as they did for all their weddings.
You cannot win!

Often Indian food is cooked in ghee

Can cook the dishes in coconut/vegetable/sunflower/groundnut oil

I never use ghee I can’t the smell of it

Re allergies, are people really allergic to vegetables?

My sister is allergic to onions. It’s a nightmare for her to eat out.

You are as likely to find onion (or celery) in meat dishes (especially sauces) as you are in vegan dishes.

@MintyMabel

Do you really not eat ANY vegetables at all? Not even salad, or chips, or onion rings? That's really amazing actually. How do you get enough fibre? Do you eat fruit?

I wish people would stop pretending this is what would be on the menu for a vegan wedding.

When people say they don’t eat vegan food, they mean the kind of vegan recipes you would see on a vegan menu or a vegan cook book. If those examples were of “vegan food” you wouldn’t find so many vegans pissing and moaning that restaurants don’t have vegan options because every menu has those on it.

But this isn't true....the two statements aren't connected.

Whether a vegan doesn't want chips or onion rings etc at a restaurant (which aren't always vegan btw) doesn't mean the wedding can't have that.