To only serve vegan food at my wedding.

[inthewest]

My partner and myself are both vegan. We want to serve an only vegan menu from an excellent vegan caterer. I know people aren't a fan of "fake meat" and we've deliberately chosen to not have anything of that sort. Our menu will include many options and will cater to allergies and dietary needs such as celiac. The food is delicious, is very "us" and reflects us as couple.

We have had pushback from my partners family. Adult family. I'm fully prepared to cater for children but not adults. Our thinking is that it's one meal.

@HaveringWavering I think we’ll just have to agree to disagree about your views on an event you weren’t at with my family that you’ve never met.

[quote Tsubasa1]@RockingMyFiftiesNot fair enough, but it seems a bit extreme not to be able to have milk in tea or coffee! İ can see lots of people bringing in their own[/quote]
Welcome to my world, for the last 40+ years of drinking tea. I had to get used to carrying around a little screw-cap bottle of soya milk in my bag, because I love milky tea, and I am allergic to milk. I managed fine.

It's fine to bring in your own, if you want to. I always first asked if I could use my own milk, in cafes etc, and nobody ever said no. That said, if you made a big performance of it being "I have COWS MILK here, from COWS" then people might think you were being a bit of a dick.

@RaiseTheBeastie

This is not a comparable situation at all

Why @Butwasitherdriveway?

A closer comparison would be someone demanding pork at a Jewish or Muslim wedding.

It's offensive.

I’d be upset if my guests didn’t like the food or felt they didn’t eat much. I went to a wedding a while ago where they did bowl food. Fine in theory but there wasn’t enough of it and I was hungry by the end of the evening! I remember that wedding for all the wrong reasons.

Exactly what I’m saying. I remember that Christmas for all the wrong reasons. It all boils down to how much that bothers the OP. It would bother me tremendously and I cater for all diets on special occasions.

It's crazy how mad meat eaters can act when expected to eat a vegetarian or vegan meal at a wedding. They seem to forget that we all eat vegetarian and even sometimes vegan meals regularly without even intending to. I've never heard anyone complain about their baked potatoes, cheese and beans lunch being a vegetarian meal. I've never heard anyone get upset about their risotto or pasta and sauce not having meat in it. No one cries foul at being served egg and chips for tea. My family love my bean goulash and I've never really considered that it's actually vegan!

I believe a lot of it is down to it being labelled as vegan or vegetarian. My advice would be to just not call it that. Leave the word vegan off and many won't even give it a second thought. They tend to just kick off on principle.

And I say this a farmer and meat eater.

But yes, please do give fake meat a miss. I've never found anything that actually tastes nice to me. The bacon is nightmare inducing.

If you do want to placate the meat eaters, what we've been trialling at work events is to make all catering vegetarian/vegan by default, but meat eaters can request meat under the 'dietary requirements' options. It's surprising how few people request meat w

I actually think that buffets should be 80/90% vegetarian if all vegetarian is a step too far, because then everyone can eat the food and there's enough choice for everyone without the vegetarians complaining that a meat eater had a cheese sandwich or onion bhaji because they didn't want to stick to rest of the processed pork five ways selection.

It’s your wedding, you choose the menu, end of!!! Vegan food isn’t going to hurt anyone, you may even convince some people it’s delicious!! And you’re not trying to ‘convert’ people - it’s one meal!

(I’m not vegan myself btw!)

[quote ConstantlyChanging]@HaveringWavering I think we’ll just have to agree to disagree about your views on an event you weren’t at with my family that you’ve never met. [/quote]
Sure. But don’t kid yourself that you are the normal one and everyone else is “odd”.

@ConstantlyChanging

I’d be upset if my guests didn’t like the food or felt they didn’t eat much. I went to a wedding a while ago where they did bowl food. Fine in theory but there wasn’t enough of it and I was hungry by the end of the evening! I remember that wedding for all the wrong reasons.

Exactly what I’m saying. I remember that Christmas for all the wrong reasons. It all boils down to how much that bothers the OP. It would bother me tremendously and I cater for all diets on special occasions.

What was it she cooked?

I also think people saying 'it's just one meal' are being disingenuous.

It's not just a standard Tuesday night dinner, ah well, one meal, what's the difference.

It's a wedding. All of the weddings I've been to have come at fairly decent cost and/or inconvenience to me as guest. The cost of outfits, travel, sometimes accommodation, wedding gift, arranging time off work and childcare.

I don't actually mind any of those things! But saying 'it's just one meal' as if guests have just rocked up with no cares in the world isn't really the whole picture. Guests often have to put a decent bit of time, money and effort into attending too and a meal they can enjoy is kind of the least, as host, you can do.

I love vegetables and salads, and would happily eat a meal just of them. Unfortunately I can't eat (my stomach protests) beans, pulses and soya. So, although I would be happy with quite a plain veggie diet, vegan is always an issue for me, because I can't eat quite a large food group from that diet. So, I would probably come to your wedding, but not eat much, depending on the menu.

Forgot to add vegetarian chilli served with nachos, guacamole and salsa to the list of vegan food

The comparison with the poster who doesn’t drink but served alcohol at her wedding is not quite the same because that poster said that she just “isn’t fussed on alcohol”. That is different to someone who does not drink for moral or religious reasons, in the same way that vegans restrict their diets by reasons of their beliefs/morals around use of animal products.

It just doesn’t sit right with a vegan to spend money on animal products. Would you expect a Muslim couple to provide booze?

Guests often have to put a decent bit of time, money and effort into attending too and a meal they can enjoy is kind of the least, as host, you can do.

And again, they won’t enjoy a plant based meal why?

She’s not serving them slop.

And a meat based meal could equally be badly cooked or not to your taste.

After all, if you're so inflexible you would object to vegan food on principle, it's highly likely there's a long list of meat based meals you wouldn't eat either.

@inthewest

My partner and myself are both vegan. We want to serve an only vegan menu from an excellent vegan caterer. I know people aren't a fan of "fake meat" and we've deliberately chosen to not have anything of that sort. Our menu will include many options and will cater to allergies and dietary needs such as celiac. The food is delicious, is very "us" and reflects us as couple.

We have had pushback from my partners family. Adult family. I'm fully prepared to cater for children but not adults. Our thinking is that it's one meal.

"The food is delicious" - highly subjective!

Definitely thinking special catering for the children is a good idea. Definitely avoiding fake meat is a good idea.

I really don't think that there's a right and a wrong here. It seems to me that (inexplicably as far as I am concerned) most people feel that meat is a necessary part of a meal. They probably think that it's rude / weird / very disappointing to travel for a big occasion and not even get a "proper meal".

On the other hand it's your wedding - serve what you like, and in advance tell people what you're serving and if they're not satisfied then they can bring sandwiches sneak out and eat them at some point during the day.

Sure. But don’t kid yourself that you are the normal one and everyone else is “odd”.

God yeah totally. Definitely me that’s odd and not the poster being spiteful to a stranger on the internet because they’re so incensed that the stranger doesn’t like vegetables.

I’m off to enjoy the sunshine and I’ll let you have the last word since you seem to need it.

RaiseTheBeastie

I agree to a point. However all the weddings I’ve been to had fairly crap food in one way or another. It’s either limited choice or rubbish portions or food runs out or is badly served or the wrong time.

Just serve vegan food. It will be delicious and I’m a meat with every meal girl who will happily shoot her own dinner.

@BarbaraofSeville

And a meat based meal could equally be badly cooked or not to your taste.

After all, if you're so inflexible you would object to vegan food on principle, it's highly likely there's a long list of meat based meals you wouldn't eat either.

It usually is that’s why the meat eaters at all types of buffets pig out on the veggie food, often leaving vegans and veggies without.

And a meat based meal could equally be badly cooked or not to your taste.

Exactly. The amount of dry, overcooked meat based meals served at weddings is enormous. Yet that’s fine and veg is beyond the pale?

A friend had a wedding with vegan-only food. They let their family know who complained beforehand. On the day the disgruntled family members brought chicken legs wrapped in foil and ham sandwiches which they opened and ate when the buffet was served. It upset my friend and I was horrified. I loved the vegan buffet despite being a meat eater. Since then I've eaten far less meat too.

Our wedding unfortunately had veggie but didn't have vegan options which some people found difficult. It came down to cost as the venue put a ridiculous premium on the bill for allowing a vegan option.

It just doesn’t sit right with a vegan to spend money on animal products. Would you expect a Muslim couple to provide booze?

The two weddings I've been to where the couple were Muslim had an 80%+ Muslim guest list so it was obviously expected and fully embraced. I don't think there would be many 'Muslim weddings' without a very high proportion of Muslim guests so that's also not really a directly comparable situation. However...it's a fair point and no, I wouldn't expect it.

I still think that largely, as host, you should put your guests first though if you want people to have an enjoyable day.

The ops guests who are kicking off are probably being ur too. That won't stop them remembering it as being a disappointing day/meal though will it? So it's down to the op to decide how important guest enjoyment is vs their personal preference/morality beliefs.

Guests often have to put a decent bit of time, money and effort into attending too and a meal they can enjoy is kind of the least, as host, you can do.

I am easy to please food wise but I have had more overcooked chicken at weddings than I care to remember I pay to go to a wedding to see my friend / relative get married, and celebrate the start of their lives together. I don't off-set the costs against a meal and wouldn't be upset that there was inedible chicken, I'd just eat the rest of the meal and sneak out to buy a sandwich if still hungry.
If people aren't prepared to eat vegan food or don't think they'd get value for money then decline the invitation.

Vegan can be delicious, such as the vegan menu at Wagamama

Indeed, and I’m not even vegetarian, let alone vegan. I often choose the vegan option because it tastes so good.

I wonder if the posters who think all vegan food is tasteless just don’t like spicy food? Because I find a lot of Asian and other spicy foods lend themselves very well to vegan dishes, and a lot of spicy dishes are vegan anyway. I totally understand why meat eaters would miss the texture of meat. The only vegan food I have eaten that comes near to replicating this would be seitan, but that would be a compete no-no for anyone intolerant to gluten.

I agree that offering a vegan only menu could be more of a problem for people with allergies and food intolerances, especially if they are unfamiliar with the dishes on offer and what is in them.

KatherineJaneway
One thing this thread has taught me is how many people are desperate to let everyone know that vegan food is "delicious”

One thing this thread has taught me is how many people have never eaten a decent vegan meal or don’t know how many vegan foods they have eaten not realising that they are vegan - Lotus Original Caramelised Biscuits, Fox's Ginger Crinkle Crunch Biscuits, Fox's Cookie Minis, Fox's Party Rings, Bourbon Biscuits, Oreo cookies Love Hearts, Skittles, many brands and flavours of crisps, peanut butter, marmite, various cup soups, some flavours of pot noodles, popcorn, all fruit and vegetables, rice, most dried pasta etc.

I dont think the children need chicken nuggets if that is what you are intending

I agree. A simple pasta with tomato sauce will be fine

Posters who mentioned vegan alcohol – there are a number of wines and beers that are vegan. We look for vegetarian wine anyway for when DD is at home, and most of the veggie wines are vegan anyway. More and more wine makers are aware that making their wines vegan means that they have a wider market.

I don’t understand why people keep banging on about allergies. Allergies are an issue for any meal.