To only serve vegan food at my wedding.

[inthewest]

My partner and myself are both vegan. We want to serve an only vegan menu from an excellent vegan caterer. I know people aren't a fan of "fake meat" and we've deliberately chosen to not have anything of that sort. Our menu will include many options and will cater to allergies and dietary needs such as celiac. The food is delicious, is very "us" and reflects us as couple.

We have had pushback from my partners family. Adult family. I'm fully prepared to cater for children but not adults. Our thinking is that it's one meal.

We went to a vegan wedding including all drinks
The couple were both vegan so it made sense. They went for a buffet style dinner with lots of Indian style food.
It was great, I didn't like everything (vegan cheese didn't work for me) but it was an experience and as it was a buffet I could try a little bit of everything. The majority of the guests weren't vegan but we enjoyed it and it was a talking point.
It's one bloody meal the rest of the family can suck it up, it's your day and should reflect you.

@WeAllHaveWings
Let me spell it out. If you can’t put together one tasty meal without meat and dairy - youre not in a position to make disparaging remarks about others cooking. You should first learn to cook better.

@TheKeatingFive

Soz angry vegans of mumsnet!

I don’t know why you’re assuming we’re all vegan. I fucking love meat and dairy. I can, however, cope with and enjoy entire meals without them.

Me too. I served pork cheeks and dauphinoise potatoes at my wedding! (With alternatives for all and any dietary preferences). But I absolutely defend OP’s choice to have a vegan wedding.

@Tsubasa1

As a previous poster mentioned, a lot of people struggle with vegan food as beans/pulses cause intolerance in many. Also the fact that people would struggle without dairy milk in their tea, coffee... You are super lucky if your body tolerates soy milk or other vegan "milks", i've thrown up with all of them!

Then you state that on your dietary requirements!

It’s fine.

The majority of the food was really tasty.
Vegan food can be crap but it can also be very nice just like non vegan food.

What are these imaginary weddings where guests can have a chip butty if they don’t like the meal?!

@Abracadabra14

I do agree with comments around meat eaters refusing to serve vegan - what would your opinion be on that?

For example, DH has ARFID so his dietary requirement is that he can only eat meat with potato. Would you meet his dietary requirements?

That's the "Do you have any dietary requirements?" section of the RSVP, along with the people who can't eat beans. It might make the caterers' heads explode trying to play dietary requirement Tetris, but it's their job so they'd manage!

Yep, thought so. Imagine ostracising a family member at Christmas because they once cooked you food you didn’t like.

She’s really welcome to join us but me hosting is better as I’ll cater for everyone’s diets not just the most restrictive one.

@ConstantlyChanging

Yep, thought so. Imagine ostracising a family member at Christmas because they once cooked you food you didn’t like.

She’s really welcome to join us but me hosting is better as I’ll cater for everyone’s diets not just the most restrictive one.

But that fa t that she does not join you speaks volumes.

I'd enjoy it. DH's cousin had a vegetarian meal at his wedding and it was probably the best wedding meal I've had, including my own. Not a huge step to have a vegan meal.

littlepattilou - that's a ridiculous comparison really

If I knew my family member or friend was vegan I'd automatically assume it would be a vegan menu, unless I knew their partner definitely wasn't vegan too. I know being vegan is often about more than just the food.

If they were both vegetarian I'd not be surprised by a vegetarian menu either.

If one of the couple ate meat and the other didn't I'd assume there'd be a meat and a veg option.

As a pescatarian since I was a young teen I'm used to going to places and not really having much to eat. I didn't eat meat in the 90s so quite accustomed to being given a meal just without the meat part, or to have the obligatory pub veggie options of the time. It's no wonder I hate nut roast as for a while it all there seemed to be! Even these days the options can be fairly limited, though there is usually something.

There are some vegan 'alternatives I really don't enjoy - much of the vegan cheese I haven't enjoyed, and I'm not a big fan of 'pretend meat.' But the rest I'd include in your average meals anyway.

As an aside if given a meat dish I would struggle. After not eating meat for so many years it's likely to make me feel quite poorly. I don't taste and texture of most meat - things like bacon and steak I've never been able to enjoy, even as a child, as they made my stomach hurt. However, if it was something that used meat stick instead of veggie I'd likely not know. As a pescatarian I do eat some animal products and I'm not overly watchful as for me it's a preference and not a lifestyle/ethical choice. But I hate being lied to over something having meat products in or not (just tell me and I will chose to eat it or not` and being told to eat meat would,likely lead me to be quite ill.

Both dh and dd love meat and eat it most days. But both would have a vegetarian or vegan meal if it was served. Whilst they enjoy meat they do also eat vegetables, etc. As well.

Serve what you want to.
People can decide whether the lack of meat upsets them enough not to come.
Tbh if they are the type to refuse over one meal you'd probably be better without them being there anyway.

@HaveringWavering Thank you for your insightful analysis of our entire family dynamic based on a few sentences. You’ve changed my life.

I love this idea! I'm not vegan or vegetarian but enjoy meals that are. I find them a refreshing change from the norm. Some I even prefer, like Quorn chicken nuggets. I don't know why anyone would push back against your wedding plans. It's sooo your day. I think it's great that the day will reflect you as a couple so go for it. As other posters have said, it's one meal. People can survive that surely.

Soz angry vegans of mumsnet!

If this is typical of your level of engagement with anyone who eats a different diet to you, I can quite see why your family member declines the invitation to spend Christmas with you.

[quote supermoonrising]@WeAllHaveWings
Let me spell it out. If you can’t put together one tasty meal without meat and dairy - youre not in a position to make disparaging remarks about others cooking. You should first learn to cook better.[/quote]
If you want me to answer a polite question ask me one instead of emailing me passive aggressive nonsense.

Where did I make disparaging remarks about others cooking?

I simply said I have never enjoyed a vegan meal I have been served, that is my experience. I didn't say the meal was crap I said I didn't enjoy it.

I have never tried to cook a vegan meal as I have no interest in doing so and last I heard it was not compulsory.

@OhWhyNot - I could eat the salad and possibly some of the ratatouille from your list, the rest I’d need to avoid due to health reasons.

It's quite inconsiderate if you know you have guests who won't enjoy a vegan meal. People will have invested a lot of time and money in coming to the wedding and it's just not very kind to serve them up something you know they won't enjoy. I guess they could bring their own sandwiches though or order a deliveroo to their table?

Really why not just invite vegan guests if this is a value that is super important to you?

Serve up your restrictive diet to your guests if you like but don’t explode with self righteous horror like some on this thread if they find it a bit grim

This is daft. Every menu served at a wedding is "restrictive" in some way - it may or may not be "grim", but that will be down to the quality of the caterers, not the particular restrictions this particular wedding includes. If you go to a Hindu wedding, and are not a fan of Indian food, you may find it "restricting". If you go to a wedding with a hog roast, and don't eat pork, you may find it "restricting", if you have a sit-down meal at a chain hotel, and don't like Brooks Brothers mass catering, you may find it "restricting".

If any wedding menu is "grim", change up the caterers, don't dismiss the menu options, including vegan, or whatever the hell you like.

(I find some posts in these threads reminiscent of toddlers who will only eat pasta and cheese, and can't have the peas touching. Oh
noes, unfamiliar food!)

[quote ConstantlyChanging]@HaveringWavering Thank you for your insightful analysis of our entire family dynamic based on a few sentences. You’ve changed my life. [/quote]
Hey you were the adult crying in your room at Christmas and afraid to ask your sibling for more food. It doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes to work out that that is one fucked up family dynamic.

If this is typical of your level of engagement with anyone who eats a different diet to you, I can quite see why your family member declines the invitation to spend Christmas with you.

That’s a rotten thing to say. Be less spiteful towards people with a different opinion. I could make some remarks about your own level of engagement with anyone who holds a different view to you.

[quote PaperMonster]@OhWhyNot - I could eat the salad and possibly some of the ratatouille from your list, the rest I’d need to avoid due to health reasons.[/quote]
I’d eat nothing. Maybe the salad if it had no dressing. I struggle to eat at most places but weddings are usually safe if they are based around a roast dinner. All weddings in our family usually are.

@ConstantlyChanging

What are these imaginary weddings where guests can have a chip butty if they don’t like the meal?!

At the many weddings where there's a chip van

I don't know people are talking about self righteous horror and pushing beliefs on others.

It certainly isn't the vegans on here who are doing that.