To only serve vegan food at my wedding.

[inthewest]

My partner and myself are both vegan. We want to serve an only vegan menu from an excellent vegan caterer. I know people aren't a fan of "fake meat" and we've deliberately chosen to not have anything of that sort. Our menu will include many options and will cater to allergies and dietary needs such as celiac. The food is delicious, is very "us" and reflects us as couple.

We have had pushback from my partners family. Adult family. I'm fully prepared to cater for children but not adults. Our thinking is that it's one meal.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

The vegans on here are carefully not responding to my valid point that most people aren't used to eating vegan food. It is usually either higher carb in order to get enough calories or lower carb and you need to eat a LOT of it to get enough nutrition.

You will get quite a lot of people who will struggle feeling bloaty as they are not used to the carbs, or hungry because they aren't used to eating a bigger portion in order to get enough calories.

It really depends on what is more important to you - providing a treat meal your guests will love, or upholding your own moral position. Its absolutely fine if it's the latter but don't expect everyone to share your view that the food is delicious or rave about it.

As a vegan I am literally always told ‘you’ll be fine as long as there’s chips and salad’ therefore I’d expect a non vegan to be the same because they can also eat these things (unless they had allergies in which case I’d expect them to notify me if they couldn’t eat vegetables and carbs).

I can’t tell you the amount of weddings I’ve been to and all I’ve eaten was a bowl of chips. I don’t particularly love these foods but it means I’m not starving and will keep me going until I go home. Not once have I ever been offended or complained about not getting enough nutrition because they haven’t catered to my dietary choice. Bizarre.

It is your wedding, so order what makes you happy.

That said, I suggest you inform guests beforehand so they know what to expect. We were served vegan food at a family wedding, and it really was not very nice. (That was after waiting for 90 minutes in the cold because the bride was late for the service, then another 2 1/2 hours for the reception to start after the service). My kids were tired, grouchy and hungry, so my husband nipped out with them to buy a Macdonalds!

If your family aren't into vegan food, you may find they disappear at some point during the reception.

The best vegan cooking leaves me cold.

You probably have never tried really good vegan food. And I bet you eat plenty of decent naturally vegan food every day without realising it.

@littlepattilou

As long as you are OK with going to someone's wedding, or party, or 'evening meal' and only being offered dairy and meat products, then yeah, go ahead and only offer vegan food at your wedding.

If you would not accept dairy or meat products in the food you were offered, then of COURSE you are being unreasonable to only offer vegan food to the guests at your wedding.

I can't believe you even have to ask!

not the same at all... OP is serving all dietry requirements, wanting meat with every single meal is not a requirement its a temper tantrum.

Meat eaters eat non meat meals ALL the time, it only becomes an issue for some where the word vegeterian or vegan is added to the food they would have happily ate anyway if no one pointed it out which frankly makes them look like argumentative idiots.

Having been to weddings with meat and 2 veg meal provided, soggy veg, cremated potatoes, dry meat...I'm up for a vegan wedding and I'm not vegan although leaning towards vegetarian these days.

Go for it, as long as you can emotionally handle hearing comments such as "why do they have to force their lifestyle on me, I've forked out for a present and a new outfit and they can't provide so much as a sausage on a stick" or people leaving early because they are hungry and don't like the food you are offering.

You should serve whatever food you want at your wedding, it's your day.

As a guest I wouldn't personally be looking forward to it but it's not my wedding and I'd still go to support my friends obviously. I'd probably just do an inward 'ugh' when I got the menu 🤷

I choose not to eat processed eat so vegan would be fine for me - BUT I don't like anything spicy! I don't even like coriander..

Our daughter is having vegetarian food - not vegan, admittedly, but several, of her seven course tasting menu are vegan. I think with good catering many won’t even realise.
Its your wedding, do what’s important to you whilst being considerate of granny who might struggle with sticky peanut, lentil and chilli cauliflower Wellington.

YABU if you attended a party/meeting you would expect the host to prepare vegan options for you. I have coeliac disease and I’m intolerant to lentils and beans (my tummy swells up and I’m in pain). I don’t think I’d be able to eat anything if I attended your wedding party. I would never force my dietary requirements on others. I would provide different options for guests to choose from.

Vegan food is lovely and I'd be very happy with an all-vegan spread, and I'm saying this as a meat-eater!

I would have an all vegan menu. It's your day. I would avoid spicy food though.

I'll be the judge of what is 'delicious'

@KatherineJaneway

One thing this thread has taught me is how many people are desperate to let everyone know that vegan food is "delicious"

If you want to serve vegan food that's your call, I wouldn't personally as I'd take my guests happiness into account but it is your call at the end of the day. However if you go ahead, let people know in advance or you'll have all the kids crying as their parents will be snaffling their chicken nuggets!

What it's taught me is how many adults adults are willing to throw their toys out of the pram because the might have to go one occasion without meat or dairy 😂 If its that bad order a bloody mcds breakfast beforehand and stop acting like a child

@inthewest, I'm mostly vegan and cater a lot.
Ask about allergies, then label food, use symbols not words...hearts diamonds spades clubs etc. Give allergic people a credit card size crib sheet.
Then go for it.
My wedding cake had three tiers, one gluten free, one vegan and gluten free and the last one stuffed with enough cream to sink a ship. Most people had no clue and the chocolate cake vanished as expected.

My one compromise in your position, would be real milk for teas and coffees.

Have a great wedding.

It would do the general population a lot of good to eat / try a few different kinds of vegan food

Is a wedding the place to begin this education programme? Seriously, would you serve vegan food to your 78 year old grandfather, knowing that he wouldn’t enjoy it, that he might leave most of it and be hungry and when he’s travelled to celebrate your wedding day with you? All because it would ‘do him a lot of good’ to live by the dietary principles of the bride and groom for the day?

I wouldn’t. I’d be prioritising the comfort and enjoyment of my guests. Interesting that a few posters have mentioned Indian weddings. I’ve been to a few of those. The families hosting the event were all about putting the guests first: lovely, welcoming people,

That’s quite a contrast to the bride and groom insisting that the food and other details must ‘reflect them’ and to hell with what the guests might prefer. One poster upthread justified this by saying that weddings are expensive ‘these days’ and thus she was justified in making the wedding all about ‘reflecting’ her and her fiancé rather than a celebration everyone could enjoy.

@Loshad

I also like stuffed peppers. Highjacking thread for ideas (not my wedding, one of my dcs) Main wedding meal is hog roast Followed by crepe van for pudding Fish and chip van in evening who will do veggie battered sausages 😳

I have been trialling things for veggies ( no known vegans atm) but if stuffed peppers are 🤨 then ?

What about something like veggie fajitas? Or is the hog roast a sit down meal? (Ive only seen it in buns from a van)

Judging by some of the childiish comments about "vegan shite" and "not liking vegan food" (really? you don't eat chips??) I can only assume severe constipation is affecting all those posters on their exclusively flesh and dairy diets.

Vegatarian and meat eaters eat vegan food.

If there is someone on your invitee list that is moody because they can't eat meat or dairy at every meal, even at your wedding, do you really want them there?

To the poster grumping about OP should have to be happy with being served meat, is it too difficult to see the difference between serving food anyone can eat and serving food that someone can't eat due to dietary, religious or ethical beliefs? You'd be that disrespectful and unsupporting of a friend?

Do people really still eat meat everyday?

I'm a meat eater and that's never going to change that being said I think it would be a fantastic opportunity to really show people that vegan food can taste good and be filling But if it's done badly you are going to have a lot of hungry guests and a queue at the local Mac Donald's drive thru'

The cake though.........can't believe that a vegan cake could ever taste as good as the "real" thing 🤔 - I'd probably have 2 versions of the cake!

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

Duggeehug

If you read what I've written I haven't suggested people won't enjoy the day. I've just warned OP to manage her expectations about whether people will find the food as delicious as she will. I'm sure people will be polite but where some weddings the food is a real "wow" meal that is talked about for months, her friends may not feel that way about this.

But isnt that obvious thou, hence the reason for even asking on mumsnet, when you choose a type of diet that the majority are not following, then you expect the majority are not going to he blown away by the food. if i didnt like alcohol and decided not to have alcohol at my wedding ,wouldnt it be assumed that majority would prefer alcohol and so the expectation is already there.

My wedding cake had three tiers, one gluten free, one vegan and gluten free and the last one stuffed with enough cream to sink a ship.

The last layer wasn't gluten free? There's no way I'd eat a cake where the entire thing wasn't gluten free. It worries me that even caterers don't understand about cross contamination

I am not a vegan but would be perfectly happy with this. Some of my friends are veggie .Always enjoyed their food very much . I would not take any notice of any moaning from family !

Ps op I'd be happy to try the food but id be hoping for some none mushroom and none coriander options.

Plenty of vegan food is delicious. You can get everything vegan. Even fake vegan meat is nice . I’m
Sure guests will be happy