To only serve vegan food at my wedding.

[inthewest]

My partner and myself are both vegan. We want to serve an only vegan menu from an excellent vegan caterer. I know people aren't a fan of "fake meat" and we've deliberately chosen to not have anything of that sort. Our menu will include many options and will cater to allergies and dietary needs such as celiac. The food is delicious, is very "us" and reflects us as couple.

We have had pushback from my partners family. Adult family. I'm fully prepared to cater for children but not adults. Our thinking is that it's one meal.

I'm a coeliac so my expectations of wedding catering are already very low. On more than one occasion my 3 course meal has consisted of plate of fruit (starter), veg and meat, plate of fruit (dessert). So I think I'd be curious about the menu but have snacks in my bag just in case, and some milk sachets in case there was coffee.

On the allergies thing. I have an intolerance to soya, trace amounts aren't an issue but wouldn't eat e.g. tofu, soy ice cream. That's only something I'd think to mention if I knew it was a vegan wedding. Same with Quorn, which often isn't gluten free so I'd never mention normally, but I think some types can be so might be included in a vegan wedding.

I have a very meat-based diet but went to a vegan wedding once and the food was fantastic. It a was a buffet with lots of choice and different textures and colours. None of that aubergine in tomatoey sauce stuff and no stuffed peppers.

And the desserts were really lovely.

Virtually all dried pasta is vegan. People are being catered for, they're being fed. No-one needs meat at every meal, or even every day. In fact it's unhealthy and an environmental disaster to eat like that.

My point is that most people when hosting a wedding want their guests to be happy and have a good time. You don't want people sitting feeling peckish.

I say this from experience. I stuffed up at my own wedding, and didnt provide enough evening food as I had been to so many weddings where lots of the evening food was wasted and I hate waste. I really regret it as I know friends still remember being hungry at 10pm as much as they remember the really good wedding breakfast meal.

Your mistake was telling people! If someone chooses not to come to your wedding because they don’t fancy the food they are not someone who cares about you as a couple. So no need to even mention it in advance (you can ask people to tell your their allergy and dietary needs without saying how you are going to meet them).

Gosh! 1) it’s one meal 2) the guests should be grateful the bride and groom are paying for it. 3) it’s about the bride and groom not the food. 4) most wedding food is look warm and inedible, even if it’s gosh, chicken ( it’s always chicken). 5) it’s a point of interest 6) if your guests are that moany who needs them. 7) some people will have eaten veg food in the past, tomato soup, chips! Maybe even salad, so they can do it. 8) it’s one meal. And again 9) it’s one meal.
But then I find it ridiculous that if I invite people for dinner and there is a vegetarian Im supposed to cook 2 different dishes. And the meat eaters tuck into the veggie dish as well! Last time I cooked all veggie and everyone loved it, even the big hairy meat munching men.

@inthewest

My partner and myself are both vegan. We want to serve an only vegan menu from an excellent vegan caterer. I know people aren't a fan of "fake meat" and we've deliberately chosen to not have anything of that sort. Our menu will include many options and will cater to allergies and dietary needs such as celiac. The food is delicious, is very "us" and reflects us as couple.

We have had pushback from my partners family. Adult family. I'm fully prepared to cater for children but not adults. Our thinking is that it's one meal.

Need to see a menu before deciding whether your caterer options are ok.

People can have a range of allergies and intolerances but usually invitations ask for any dietary requirements.

yes, but quorn is a different game. It's well known to give really bad stomach upset and allergy reactions to a lot of people who otherwise have no intolerances.

Since someone mentioned being violently ill.

Do NOT serve quorn. Lots of people have reaction to the mycoprotein (or whatever it is) and you don't want a quornmageddon😳 My DH had horrible reaction

People can have a range of allergies and intolerances but usually invitations ask for any dietary requirements.

The issue is that quorum causes reactions in quite a high percentage of people and many would not know because it’s not part of most people’s diets. My sister suffers explosive vomiting if she eats it. Not exactly fun at a wedding, for anyone.

OP, I wouldn’t enjoy a vegan meal. The best vegan cooking leaves me cold. And at a wedding (which can be quite tedious) it would add a layer of tediousness to have to eat vegan food. But it’s up to you.

*quorn

If they are feeling peckish though that's their own fault surely?

I mean if you show up and refuse the perfectly good food out of principle then that's on the guest.

As long as there's plenty of food the caterers have done their job.

You can do whatever you want.

However, there's a stark possibility that your wedding will forever be remembered negatively because of the food. So it really depends how important it is to you. I think a lot of couples put the fact that they're hosting and catering for other people to one side, where the reality is that if it truly were just all about you, you'd marry without guests.

I'm not vegetarian or vegan, and I have been to three vegan cafes /restaurants, all with great reputations for delicious food. I wasn't keen. However, if I was invited to a vegan restaurant, someone's house. a party or a wedding, I would definitely go, I would eat the food, and even if I didn't know the menu in advance, if I knew the invitation came from vegans, I would expect it to be vegan. Ignore the complaints, stick to your principles!
And to @littlepattilou I don't think that's the same thing. If I was vegan I probably would have pretty strong principles about not eating animal products, so I'd find it difficult/impossible to put those things in my mouth. As a meat eater, I would have no problems eating vegan food, as it would be just another food in the large variety of things that I can eat.

I doubt someone catering a wedding would use quote anyway. There are plenty of other vegan options.

Vegan can be delicious, such as the vegan menu at Wagamama and the Love burger at Leon :D

Fine to serve vegan food. I’ve been to a vegetarian wedding and it was great.

If I was invited, I would be surprised if you served animal products (the invitation assumes I would know you and that you were vegan).

I am really not a fan of vegan (but enjoy vegetarian meals despite being a meat eater) but I would suck it up for one day. Who knows, I may even enjoy it.

@littlepattilou

As long as you are OK with going to someone's wedding, or party, or 'evening meal' and only being offered dairy and meat products, then yeah, go ahead and only offer vegan food at your wedding.

If you would not accept dairy or meat products in the food you were offered, then of COURSE you are being unreasonable to only offer vegan food to the guests at your wedding.

I can't believe you even have to ask!

I would be thrilled and intrigued to be invited to an all-vegan wedding and in fact would think it a bit sad to see an ethically-vegan couple feeling forced to serve meat at their wedding. Surely it's their day and their guests should be grateful for the hospitality on offer?

I've been to many, many weddings, funerals and parties over the years where there's been very little for me (vegetarian) to eat. Traditional finger buffets are particularly bad. Usually the only safe options are a dried out cheese & pickle sandwich and if I'm lucky, a piece of cold cheese & tomato pizza or a spring roll which might have a nasty meaty surprise inside (there's no knowing until you bite into it, so I tend not to) . Most people give NO thought whatsoever to making these kinds of events veggie / vegan friendly; even a bit of labelling would help.

But I'm not rude enough to complain. A cereal bar in my handbag if it's a long day, or eating before we go to the party have become the norm to be honest.

It would do the general population a lot of good to eat / try a few different kinds of vegan food - and if they really don't want to, they don't have to eat anything, they can try the cereal bar trick.

It’s your wedding so you do what you wish. You need to let guests know though due to dietary requirements - I’d struggle with what was provided due to my own dietary requirements so I’d probably bring a snack for myself for later and some milk as I can’t drink the alternatives.

*But in my opinion you can’t really go wrong with a vegan - or whatever - buffet!"

I've been to 2 weddings that had buffets and at both, the people at the end of the line got nothing to eat because they'd run out of food.

I would be very happy to attend a vegan wedding if you had a decent caterer who knows how to prepare delicious vegan food.

Meat-eaters can eat vegan food, but vegans can't eat meat or dairy.

But the same goes for a wedding where animal products were being served - perfectly possible to have disgusting food if the caterer doesn't know what they are doing.

I have issues around food and would struggle with the idea of a vegan meal. But (assuming the usual early afternoon wedding) I’d make sure I’d had a good late breakfast and try the meal.

I had the exact same issue with my PIL. We ignored and went with a totally vegan menu. It was delicious abs speaking to guests a while after, some didn’t even notice that it was vegan!
In terms of kids - plenty of vegan friendly food that they would eat anyway. Pasta is an easy one!

It’s always the case that wherever you go your food is very much in the minority.

You have every right to have YOUR day contain endless food you can eat. Of course you should have only vegan food. Vegan food is delicious and I’m sure your guests will love it!

You wouldn't expect a Jewish wedding you'd been invited to to provide non-kosher foodstuffs to suit the preferences of all guests would you?

You'd go to the Jewish wedding and think:
"This is interesting, to try a whole kosher meal. I've never done this before. If I don't like it or don't get enough to eat, I can always have a couple of pieces of toast when I get home".

Why is vegan any different?