Moments from past relationships which make you “wtf was that about?” when you look back?

[Ithinkyoullbejustfine]

I’ll start...

ExDH would get in a massive sulk if I took a days annual leave and he wasn’t off too - to the point where on occasion he would ring in sick just to be home as well. He’d go on and on how I must have more annual leave days than I was telling him I did because I always seemed to be off?!

Silent treatment for days on end because DC and I went out with friends, the traffic coming back was horrendous so we were very late getting back

Anyone else?

This thread has made me really sad.

If I was tired at night and wanted to sleep he would say he would get bored and ask if he could 'do stuff to me' while I was asleep

I had a same sex relationship with an older woman in my first year at university but she kept telling me I had to accept her ownership. It got a bit too intense so I ended it but she wouldn’t leave me alone. In the end I threatened to tell her husband. Strange thing is I had never been attracted to a woman before, or since. Just one of those things I guess.

After I dumped my first proper boyfriend he sent me rage filled emails about how I ‘didn’t know god’ and would be punished in the next life. He then showed up at my house to try and make amends and was outraged that I wouldn’t be his friend.

Then in my early twenties another boyfriend threw a tantrum when I put make up on before we were due to meet his friends for drinks because he had told his friends that I was a ‘natural woman’ and his friends would think he was a liar. That was how I knew I looked really good. He was a loser still living at home with his parents aged 27 so he could focus on his ‘music career’.

I have had more luck as I have grown older!

My ex started repeating back what I’d just said, in a silly squeaky voice like Mr Punch. Stupidly it took me a while (after he’d dumped me) to realise he just didn’t like me any more.

He also said people think I’m weird. I still can’t get over the feeling that he could be right.

He was better off than me. Sometimes if we went out for dinner he would pay the whole bill and say 'dont worry, my treat'

Then the next time there was a joint spend for whatever reason, if I asked him for his share of the money he would say how could I be so ungrateful, he paid for the dinner etc.

So it wasn't a treat then if you're going to hold it over my head

@Hdiebfhs

This thread has made me really sad.

And so it should. Valuable lessons are contained in this thread!

OP, yes to all you have writ; been there too, not least after I'd arrived back from a four-day trip to Hong Kong wth my DM, ie the woman who had given birth to me there 35 years previously, to find (the now) XH sulking on the sofa with his own DM and refusing to speak to me. My reassuring him that I hadn't been off with another man fell on deliberately deaf ears. He was angry because I had left him unattended for, like, half a week. His DM was perturbed too. In the end I dumped the lot of them.

When I was 17 I went out with this boy and looking back he was so so insecure and jealous.

He said he was upgrading my laptop (putting a new programme on it) okay, didn't think much of it until he called me at 3am accusing me of cheating on him. I said wtf and he had found the archive folders from old man conversations so this was a few years before I met him or even knew he existed .

Would go through my phone and delete my male friends.

Would constantly accuse me of liking other people to the point her her angry and hit things and run off... his friend always ran after him and told me I was the problem.

He also threatened to jump out my bedroom window because I said I wouldn't stop talking to my boy mates. The thing is. They were just mates.

The person he always spoke about I ended up blocking and funnily enough a year after me and my ex psycho broke up I saw this person on a night out and we've been together ever since.

It's weird though because we never spoke other than as friends my ex was just a psycho.

I broke up with him and he stalked me for a while after. He'd also end up going out with my NDN just to sit outside.

Even writing it down now I've realised just how much of a fucking nut case he is.

Oh when we broke up apparently I told him I was pregnant... did I feck. He sent his dad round and everything!

Now he is dating a nurse and I really hope he doesn't treat her the way he treated me. And I hope she keeps her money to herself!

Get*

Ex would almost cry with upset if I declined him for sex one night and would pressure me into it and tell me having sex was the only way he knew I loved him.

He would show up if I popped out after work with my friends.

He would throw a tantrum about me visiting my parents on the weekend (my son was there every weekend because of work commitments, so I would often go there after work and stay there over night).

He would ask me to act young and innocent when we had sex.

He once told me he wanted to call me a specific name in bed. He had previously told me, a long time before, that this is what he would have named his (miscarried) baby if it had been a girl.

He would object to me getting a coffee with my sister.

He hated that I didn't want to hang out with his friends (at car meets where they would stand around in the cold for hours) who I had nothing in common with. His most recent ex was a member of this particular club as well and the occasions I did go, all the women would be huddled together with her. So I would be stuck entirely to him for the evening.

He raped me when I was unconscious and thought it was okay.

I still cried when we broke up for some reason. I often think I should get the bastard arrested just so he's less of a prick in his new relationships.

Unrelated - a a teenage boyfriend tried to hang himself because I said that I had previously had feelings for someone else.
I had a very angry phone call from his mother.

I love a controlling douche bag apparently.

@MizMoonshine He should be in jail for raping you. He deserves a criminal conviction that severely limits his movements and options in life, not least so that he doesn't do this to other women. And if it fucks up his career, well, he was asking for it, wasn't he?

An ex of mine tried to use a buddhist mantra to explain why it was OK to see other women, because he was "sharing happiness".

"Happiness never decreases by being shared"
"The light of one candle can light many candles"

He didn't understand why I had a problem with this and implied that I just was not enlightened enough.

We got in the car one Sunday morning to go to the local shop to buy breakfast stuff and he looked at me and said aren't you going to put any make up on? Often looked at other girls and said "why don't you dress like that" and also said I was getting fat and my hair was the colour of nicotine.

This lasted for 4 years from 19 to 23, I left after he proposed and I thought I don't want to spend the rest of my life with you. He did have me convinced that no bloke would ever look at me again, but I decided I'd rather be on my own for the rest I d my lift than with him.

Apparently he was scared I was going to leave and said stuff to keep me in my place. I'm in my 50s now and when I look back at the photos from that time, I was size 8/10 and bloody gorgeous.

When I was about 17 and in a controlling relationship without realising it at the time- I remember him making a list of all the things I needed to change about myself if I wanted him to stay with me and presenting me with it like it was a normal thing to do....moved to a new city with him and we didn’t know anyone but he refused to go out anywhere to meet new people and would sulk with me if I made a friend. I was completely crazy about him, so strange to look back on!

My ex h used to secretly film me and my children when he was at work (he used a camera set up on the pc)
I only found out about this when checking my emails on the computer and was contacted by a German man who, strangely had the same name as ex. He started referring to me as yummy mummy then went on to refer to my children ‘especially the little one ‘ (she was a toddler at the time)
I contacted my ex straight away and he was able to gaslight me through it but I still think about it now (years later, my girls are late teens/ early 20’s) the German man was obviously a paedophile.
It’s traumatic looking back and I often wonder how he managed to convince me he hadn’t done anything. Not only was he secretly spying on us but also broadcasting us for anyone to see.
I wish I’d gone to the police but it would be years before I would be free of him and I was extremely naive (he abused me in a lot of ways)

I was making morning coffee and conversationally asked what time he would be home from work that evening, he asked why I wanted to know and started an argument about me being controlling, his work day would end anywhere between 6pm and midnight. That was just the start. Starting an argument when I agreed with him about something and finishing it by accusing me of always starting argument.

I think 5 weeks of silent treatment because I asked him if he thought he needed to see an optician when he complained about his glasses was my wake up call.

I have so many wtf moments when I look back. I remember feeling baffled by the turn the conversations took at the time but somehow he convinced me it was my fault.

I still feel disbelief when I think about it.

I also remember the day I told him I was going. He went out, bought vodka, beer, cigarettes. I was outside smoking and he came into the garden, waved the pack he bought in my face and said "I've started smoking again. That's your fault" sneering at me. I looked at him and said "who will you blame when I'm not here?" he just stared at me. No doubt he blamed his second wife and several women after her...

@Kalettesarethebest - that is terrifying. What exactly did he think you were doing?

When I was 20 my 18 year old brother nearly died in a motorbike accident. My then boyfriend found a DVD of bike accidents and put it on when we were with his family so they could laugh at it.
He booked a motorcycle test to prove that it was easy and my brother was an idiot. He fell off.

Him saying "I can forgive you for getting angry at me, I can't forgive you for telling my friends" after he physically assaulted me. Always the REAL victim, that one!

Oh yeah, also, he went on holiday with his mate during my court case against a man who had sexually assaulted me, and when I developed health issues from the stress he told me I should just get over it. What a keeper!

Loads of things. I am a different more suspicious person now.

"You look like a chewbacca" at 17. This has such with me for years and even now I struggle with the soft down on my face and wear a lot of scarves.

"Why can't I watch you on the toilet? I thought you were my girl?" WTAF at least I told him no. I later found out he'd taken pictures of me naked without my knowledge and although I couldn't find any proof I'm sure he shared them online.

Went out with a guy for about 5 months, I stupidly thought he was the one. I mean I really believed it but had to be cool I was 17,he was 18.
He dumped me,didn't want anything serious. Fine. I cried a bit🙄
I was mad about him and I suppose that made me slightly nervous around him, but he told me one day that he thought I sometimes ''act dumber than I actually was''

About 4 or 5 years later I bumped into him and his sister on a night out (remember those?) had a lovely time, resumed contact,we were both single, met up maybe 4 times as mates and then began a physical relationship.

I stupidly thought it might go somewhere this time but played it cool again.

This carried on for another month,going for drinks or to each others houses then one day over txt he was getting very smart and snappy with me, I dont remember what about but I remember texting somthing along the lines of..
''If I bother you so much,why are you even talking to me''??
His reply...''Because you're easy''.

Felt like some kicked me in the stomach. Suffice to say I never spoke to him again

Oh yeah, also, he went on holiday with his mate during my court case against a man who had sexually assaulted me, and when I developed health issues from the stress he told me I should just get over it. What a keeper!

The fucking pig.
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