A professor dating an ex student, many years after

[forinborin]

Do you think a professor dating his ex-student is inappropriate? The situation is as follows.

There has been a couple of years between the student's graduation and the relationship starting, both parties have been married to other people in between (now both divorced) and weren't in regular contact. The student was directly supervised / advised by the professor during the studies.

If you learned this about someone - would it make you question the credentials / award the student got from the university (e.g. a first/ a merit / a distinction)?

Asking for a friend (no, genuinely).

Loads of lecturers married their PhD students when worked at a uni

Doesn't surprise me or worry me, I have several friends who married their PhD students!

No I wouldn’t question it 1)the relationship between a mature student and a professor is very different to an 18 year old. IMO the power dynamic there is significantly reduced to you have knowledge I want rather than an 18 year old who still expects a bit of policing. I have done both and while respect is a feature by 30 you know your professor is not infallible, is human and is just trying to get through the day. I wouldn’t suspect they were in a relationship during studies as 2 years is a long time to cover up a blazing affair so I would believe they just clicked once they were in a different dynamic. I don’t think she has anything to worry about as most wouldn’t think twice about it. I would expect this person to be jealous of her grades and a bit of a knob

@TeeBee

I wouldn't question the marks at all. The faculty don't mark the final papers, they're sent to an exam board. Any contentious marks usually result in a viva.

Adding to the chorus of hollow laughs. Oh, I wish.

I think dating a student would be grim, even if they were a long-ago former student. Sorry. Grim grim grim.

My father was one of my mother’s university lecturers. They married in the summer after she graduated.

Ignore any such comments.

The real question is whether their relationship is now one of equals or there still some professor / student dynamic going on which might not be healthy.

Is it a twenty year age gap or did I misunderstand. That might be fun between when you are thirty / fifty, think about what fifty / seventy might be or even sixty / eighty.

Take it from one who knows.

It was obviously a joke. Especially if she was brilliant - which it sounds like she was.
Some people have a thing where they say the opposite of what they mean to really emphasise the meaning.
I'd guess friend was delighted and making a joke because she knows what a ridiculous assertion that would be so is underlining her delight.
My family have always done this and it's taken me a long time to learn that it's not appropriate and just say what you mean.