As a vegetarian...

[NorthernChickadee]

To expect my DP to clear up things he's cooked meat in himself?

Tonight he left before I finished work, left me to walk the puppy (that he nagged for!) for the tenth night in a row, to go to the gym.

Got home to find the kitchen a bomb site, all the pots, pans, countertop and stove covered in mince and a giant tub of "meal prep" cooling on the side. I'm not one of those vegetarians that minds people eating meat at all, but the smell and texture makes me gag and I don't expect to have to clear it up.

I've thrown the "meal prep" out and scrubbed the kitchen.

AIBU to insist on a meat free household from now on?

Bit harsh throwing his food away and wasteful too... I’ve been a veggie since I was 12 so quite a long time and my DH is a meat eater, I’d never throw his food away.

He should’ve cleaned up after himself though, I agree with that.

The mess issue is unacceptable but I don’t think it’ll be solved by banning meat, which you can’t enforce on someone else. Maybe you need a selfish husband free zone.

You're right, I shouldn't have thrown it away but I lost my cool.

It wasn't that it was meat, because I don't disagree that he eats it, but the mess.

Leaving the kitchen a state is the issue, same for checking out of household responsibilities in order to go to the gym.
YANBU to be annoyed at him but YABU to want a meat free household moving forward.
The solution is for him to clean up after himself, a meat free household doesn't change that. It just sends the message that he can continue like a man child and you'll clear up.

Did you throw away his meal?

You threw out his food?!

Yeah yabu.
That's horrible to throw out someone's food.

I say that as a vegetarian sharing a house with 2 meat eaters. And I have sensory issues relating to smells etc.

Meat eaters have a different frying pan, use a different oven. Separate storage area in the fridge.
I ask them to tidy up if they leave stuff lying around.

If we became a meat free household they would switch to eating crisps, I expect. Supernoodles, at a push.

As it is, they're mostly happy to eat veggie meals with us because they have a choice.

Does he clean up your stuff?

I think the issues are about him not cleaning up and also not walking the puppy he wanted so he can go to the gym, surely leisure activities are undertaken when you've fulfilled your responsibilities as an adult.

I hate food waste so would not have thrown his food away but I would have left the kitchen as I found it and told him he should clean it up because he made the mess.

I understand your feelings about the smell of meat, some are worse than others, but presumably both your eating habits were established when you moved in together, making an issue about his meat eating now is unreasonable.

I've been vegetarian for nearly 30 years.

I don't think it's just the mess. He left you to walk the dog he wanted and clean the mess he made while he went out for leisure time. He's treating you like a second class citizen and I would be pissed off too.

Insist on a meat free household? What a total overreaction. He should just clean up after himself and put unused food in the fridge.

id be annoyed too with all the chores he left you to do

I'm a vegetarian but prepare and cook meat for DP and ds because I respect their choices.

I say this as a dog owner (and a veggie), he needs to get used to not having his evenings free. Either learn to exercise with the dog (running, for example) or get a dog walker.

I’ve more free time now than I’ve ever had as I’m working from home but still don’t have my evenings free. That’s a sacrifice I’ve made for having a dog.

When I met my wife I discovered that she is also vegetarian. It is so good not having any meat in the house.
I can understand how hard it must be for NorthernChickadee to have to clear up the remains of dead animals

As a vegan of almost ten years I would never every allow meat in my home so I don't think yabu at all.

You need to feel comfortable and happy in your own home.

Admittedly he should have cleaned up - but even if he had, the meal would still be cooling on the side. Massive overreaction and really spiteful to throw it out. Why didnt you just leave it and ask him to clean up when he got back?
Puppy is a separate issue. how long are his gym sessions though? couldn't he just walk puppy when he got back?

YABU to throw out his food. The reason it was out was probably because it has to cool. You can't just shove it straight in the fridge. If I was him I'd be livid

@firstimemamma

I'm a vegetarian but prepare and cook meat for DP and ds because I respect their choices.

It's a shame the animals don't get a choice though.

You lost high ground the moment you threw away the food.

How long does he spend in a gym? I would just leave it for him and tell him to clean up before he goes next time. Nonneed for drama.

@mudstuck the thread isn't about the ethics of meat eating, so bore off.

The meat is not the problem here.

One of those OPs where now the vast majority of posters will want to engage with the utterly pointless opening question rather than the glaring issue of OP's lazy fucker dp.

1. You are not his maid/personal assistant/fixer and you both need to internalise that.

1. Do not settle for this behaviour from him. Dump if necessary.

1. Think carefully about the issue at play before posting a misleading OP.

Good luck!

@firstimemamma

I'm a vegetarian but prepare and cook meat for DP and ds because I respect their choices.

OP said the smell and texture makes her gag. Great it doesn't affect you, but it has nothing to do with respecting choices.

My DH doesn't eat pork. If he threw away my food eith pork in it, I would be reconsidering relationship because obviously there is some incompatibility going on.

The mess and a puppy are a different matter and he needs to do his part, but wow. Imagine just throwing away perfectly good meat and wasting it out of spite.