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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

As a vegetarian...

93 replies

NorthernChickadee · 21/04/2021 20:00

To expect my DP to clear up things he's cooked meat in himself?

Tonight he left before I finished work, left me to walk the puppy (that he nagged for!) for the tenth night in a row, to go to the gym.

Got home to find the kitchen a bomb site, all the pots, pans, countertop and stove covered in mince and a giant tub of "meal prep" cooling on the side. I'm not one of those vegetarians that minds people eating meat at all, but the smell and texture makes me gag and I don't expect to have to clear it up.

I've thrown the "meal prep" out and scrubbed the kitchen.

AIBU to insist on a meat free household from now on?

OP posts:
MeltsAway · 21/04/2021 21:32

Why on earth did you both
Throw out his food

AND

Clear up

Means that you’ve both condoned his mess and attacked what he eats. You really won’t have a leg to stand on.

Insist he cleans up after himself. Leave his mess.

About the dog - can you take it back to the breeder?

CorianderBee · 21/04/2021 21:38

[quote cardibach]@CorianderBee how is that different from making a big e.g. bolognese and portioning it up for the freezer which I do all the time? Is that meal prep or food prep? They seem like the same thing to me and also not a problem sitting out cooking.[/quote]
Usually it's super healthy food like an exact weighed portion of plain chicken with 100g of boiled broccoli and 30g brown rice. All boxed into individual meals.

It's not much different from you premaking food except that it's classed as gym meal prep. It's just what everyone in the fitness world calls it.

Iwonder08 · 21/04/2021 21:38

You should find yourself a like minded person. If someone threw away my food because of 'Cross contamination' with meat they would be packing their bags

CorianderBee · 21/04/2021 21:39

And yes @cardibach I don't see an issue with it cooling on the side either

SchrodingersImmigrant · 21/04/2021 21:43

[quote CorianderBee]@Doomsdayiscoming no meal prep is making individual meals all at the same time - so 8 pre-portioned meals that you stack and put in the fridge. Gym rats and body builders do it to save time.

Food prep is any form of preparing food. [/quote]
I do it too and I am far from gym rat😂😂😂
But I stuff them into freezer.

Also knwon as batch cooking

Sleepingdogs12 · 21/04/2021 21:45

Why didn't you leave it for him to clear up when he came back? He obviously hadnt finished what he was doing . Ditto walking the dog. I can see why you were annoyed but if you keep picking up the slack for him it will continue.

ConnieCaterpillar70 · 21/04/2021 21:48

I'm the only vegetarian in a house of meat eaters. I will cook it for them and handle it, but I do use some pots that are just for meat. I've got different ones that I make my veggie food in and they're a different colour. I've also got a different chopping board.

But, if I cook, they clear up. And they know what to keep separate.

Your DH sounds an arse, OP, and I think you've got bigger problems than having meat in the kitchen..............

Warmduscher · 21/04/2021 21:54

I’m always amazed to hear that vegetarians cook meat for other people.

I haven’t cooked or eaten meat for nearly 40 years. I wouldn’t know how to cook it and I can’t imagine anyone would trust me to cook it properly.

But tbf the only time I ever hear of this happening is when it’s women cooking for their husbands or families. I wonder if there are any men who are vegetarians who cook for their meat-eating wives?

Angrypregnantlady · 21/04/2021 21:54

YANBU. Although I think throwing food away was silly. It was the only consequence he would feel for leaving you with the mess. You've had to walk his dog, and tidy his mess so he could go to the gym. So now he has to remake his food, and this time remember to clean up after himself.

I'd go with "well there was shit everywhere how was I supposed to know what was rubbish and what wasn't. Maybe you should tidy up after yourself next time."

SchrodingersImmigrant · 21/04/2021 21:57

@Warmduscher

I’m always amazed to hear that vegetarians cook meat for other people.

I haven’t cooked or eaten meat for nearly 40 years. I wouldn’t know how to cook it and I can’t imagine anyone would trust me to cook it properly.

But tbf the only time I ever hear of this happening is when it’s women cooking for their husbands or families. I wonder if there are any men who are vegetarians who cook for their meat-eating wives?

Not everyone is veggie for ethical reasons. My friend, for example, is a veggie because she just does not like meat. The texture, taste, the whole thing, in her mouth.
Lolwhat · 21/04/2021 22:06

I’m also a vegetarian and we do have a meat free house but you were so wrong to throw out his food, are you always this mean?

emilyfrost · 21/04/2021 22:07

@GlitterBiscuits

You need to live in a meat free house. He could eat meat outside of the home if he really has to. I'd never marry a meat eater for just the cross contamination issue.

You are a bit stuck with the puppy issue as you can't ignore or neglect it.

Don’t be so silly. Why should he be meat free in his own house? Confused What makes you think anyone gets to dictate that?

You should respect their choice to eat meat just like they put up with your fussy vegetarianism.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 21/04/2021 22:11

@Warmduscher

I’m always amazed to hear that vegetarians cook meat for other people.

I haven’t cooked or eaten meat for nearly 40 years. I wouldn’t know how to cook it and I can’t imagine anyone would trust me to cook it properly.

But tbf the only time I ever hear of this happening is when it’s women cooking for their husbands or families. I wonder if there are any men who are vegetarians who cook for their meat-eating wives?

Not all vegetarians have an issue with touching or cooking meat, though.

Many are vegetarian for health reasons or because they don't like the taste. It has nothing to do with ethics or having moral issues with cooking meat.

Warmduscher · 21/04/2021 22:12

Not everyone is veggie for ethical reasons. My friend, for example, is a veggie because she just does not like meat. The texture, taste, the whole thing, in her mouth.

Does she cook meat for other people? How does she manage to taste the food to check for seasoning, and that it’s properly cooked etc?

Voice0fReason · 21/04/2021 22:13

Throwing his prepared food away just means that he has to cook more.
I know you regret doing that but it means you lose the high ground.
Presumably, he left the food out to cool. Not sure what else he was supposed to do with that. But he should have cleared everything else up.

Cocomarine · 21/04/2021 22:14

@Anoisagusaris

What’s ‘meal prep’?? Just extra meals?? What has that got to do with the gym?
You actually wrote my questions - thanks 🤣
FrangipaniBlue · 21/04/2021 22:17

On the basis that you threw away his food I think the bastard should leave you!

(YANBU about the mess though Smile)

Yawnthisway · 21/04/2021 22:18

I feel you op. My dp eats meat and I’m veggie. He doesn’t eat it often and our agreement is he cleans the stuff from it straight away. He isn’t perfect with that but he’d never leave the kitchen covered in it. I lived alone for a couple of years and having a meat free kitchen was wonderful.

The dog /gym thing is out of order as well. If he doesn’t take initiative I would pick set days for each of you to walk it. If he still doesn’t help then I would reconsider the relationship

Yawnthisway · 21/04/2021 22:20

@Angrypregnantlady

YANBU. Although I think throwing food away was silly. It was the only consequence he would feel for leaving you with the mess. You've had to walk his dog, and tidy his mess so he could go to the gym. So now he has to remake his food, and this time remember to clean up after himself.

I'd go with "well there was shit everywhere how was I supposed to know what was rubbish and what wasn't. Maybe you should tidy up after yourself next time."

Agreed! People piling on the Op for throwing away the meat when she said she regrets it... at least it sends a message!
SchrodingersImmigrant · 21/04/2021 22:22

Does she cook meat for other people? How does she manage to taste the food to check for seasoning, and that it’s properly cooked etc?

Well she just knows her timings on the meat and tastes the sauces around. It's just the meat she doesn't like. Or she doesn't taste when it's mince and similar and asks someone to taste it.

It's possible to cook without tasting it (though super hard), there was even a contestant on one of the masterchefs who didn't eat pork, but managed to cook it in the task. If i remember correctly she asked someone to taste it for her.

Merename · 21/04/2021 22:24

I know this isn’t your question but I can’t imagine cooking meat for my family or being with a partner who ate meat. Are you actually ok with it? I wonder if you threw it away because really it gives you the boak? As well as the selfish mess making, obvs.

TheLastLotus · 21/04/2021 22:27

Your OP is misleading - your real issue is with your selfish husband.YABU to throw it away but you lost your cool... death by a thousand cuts?

caringcarer · 21/04/2021 22:29

My dh is a vegetarian. He has his own oven, microwave, kitchen utensils, saucepans, wok and his own shelves in fridge and own freezer. He manages to clear up after himself. The test of us in house make sure we clean up after ourselves too. I don't think problem is the meat. It is your lazy DH who should clean up after himself and walk puppy too. Point out puppy will love you more if you do all the feeding and walking.

SquirtleSquad · 21/04/2021 22:33

I hope you're going to buy and cook replacement food for him OP.

The rest of it is slobbish of him and you're enabling it by cleaning it up. I'm a vegetarian and DH knows and respects that and always clears and cleans thoroughly when he cooks his meat.

You can't ban meat in your house anymore than he can ban vegetarian food in his house.

BillyIsMyBunny · 21/04/2021 22:37

Glad I’m not the only one who has no idea what ‘meal prep’ is. And what’s it got to do with the gym? I’m imagining some kind of horrible mince protein shake 🤢

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