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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

As a vegetarian...

93 replies

NorthernChickadee · 21/04/2021 20:00

To expect my DP to clear up things he's cooked meat in himself?

Tonight he left before I finished work, left me to walk the puppy (that he nagged for!) for the tenth night in a row, to go to the gym.

Got home to find the kitchen a bomb site, all the pots, pans, countertop and stove covered in mince and a giant tub of "meal prep" cooling on the side. I'm not one of those vegetarians that minds people eating meat at all, but the smell and texture makes me gag and I don't expect to have to clear it up.

I've thrown the "meal prep" out and scrubbed the kitchen.

AIBU to insist on a meat free household from now on?

OP posts:
YellowTwinklyStar · 21/04/2021 20:44

Just reread you threw away the food?! So an animal died and you just wasted it. That's worse than eating it.

Original poster
NorthernChickadee · 21/04/2021 20:46

For those of you that haven't read my update, I regret throwing the food away. As I said, I lost my cool and I think I also got annoyed because it was "meal prep" therefore associated it with the gym, which was the reason for the mess and me being left with the chores including walking the dog for the millionth time.

For those who have said I should have left the mess, I couldn't make my meal without risking cross contamination with meat if I hadn't cleaned it up, it was everywhere.

OP posts:
Candycane57 · 21/04/2021 20:46

I think we've found the main issue here- you threw away food and got angry because he'd used his own kitchen. If he was waiting for the food prep to cool maybe he was planning on coming back and sorting the kitchen out when it had cooled?

Maybe next time just leave it and ask him to make sure he tidies it away so you don't have to smell it. There's no reason to waste food like a stroppy toddler.

AliasGrape · 21/04/2021 20:48

Throwing out the food was wrong. I’d see it as the animal has died for nothing.

He’s an arsehole leaving the dog for you to deal with and expecting you to clean up after him though.

YellowTwinklyStar · 21/04/2021 20:49

Ahh I see, yes that's extremely frustrating for you. Where did he think you would make your food? If he does it again could you order a takeaway and charge it to his card?

YellowTwinklyStar · 21/04/2021 20:50

Candycane57 it's a shared kitchen though. First rule of sharing space is to leave it as you would wish to find it.

emilyfrost · 21/04/2021 20:53

YABU for throwing out the food and thinking you can stop him eating meat. You don’t get to ban someone else from certain foods.

You could easily have used the kitchen. A bit of cross contamination would not have been a problem.

ginoclocksomewhere · 21/04/2021 21:00

Tbh you lost all credibility by throwing his food out. How completely wasteful.

I'd be livid having to clear up after him at all, regardless of whether or not there was meat. Still wouldn't have thrown it though.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 21/04/2021 21:02

There was still no need for cross contamination. Just move everything to a sink, wipe down surface, use other dishes.

He does need to be told it's not ok to leave the mess though. And the dog

underneaththeash · 21/04/2021 21:05

@mudstuck if find just banning vegans makes more sense. I don’t get it? Why would you want to cut essential nutrients out of your diet...
OP if you don’t like it, wait til your husband gets home and ask him to clear up.

GlitterBiscuits · 21/04/2021 21:09

You need to live in a meat free house.
He could eat meat outside of the home if he really has to.
I'd never marry a meat eater for just the cross contamination issue.

You are a bit stuck with the puppy issue as you can't ignore or neglect it.

ginoclocksomewhere · 21/04/2021 21:12

@GlitterBiscuits

You need to live in a meat free house. He could eat meat outside of the home if he really has to. I'd never marry a meat eater for just the cross contamination issue.

You are a bit stuck with the puppy issue as you can't ignore or neglect it.

Why should he if he lives there?! How ridiculous.

He should absolutely clear up after himself but imagine if a woman was dictating to a woman what she could and couldn't eat in the house! 🙄

CorianderBee · 21/04/2021 21:13

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Deadringer · 21/04/2021 21:13

I would have closed the kitchen door and ordered a takeaway for myself, no way would i have tidied the kitchen. Could the puppy wait and have his walk after dp returned from the gym? If so i wouldn't have done that either.
Don't have children with this man.

FrankButchersDickieBow · 21/04/2021 21:16

The issue here is not the meat.

The issue here, is that your husband is lazy and selfish.

Doomsdayiscoming · 21/04/2021 21:17

@FrankButchersDickieBow

The issue here is not the meat.

The issue here, is that your husband is lazy and selfish.

This.
cardibach · 21/04/2021 21:20

Why do you keep calling it ‘meal prep’ in inverted commas? From what I can gather it’s the actual meal, perhaps extra portions, left to cool. It’s not some sort of weird mess causing thing and he can’t make it cool more quickly.
The mess he should have sorted.

Youdontknowwhatyoureonabout · 21/04/2021 21:21

@firstimemamma

I'm a vegetarian but prepare and cook meat for DP and ds because I respect their choices.
Same here. I would be pissed off if DH left a mess for me to clear up if he cooked, I wouldn’t throw his food out though.
Anoisagusaris · 21/04/2021 21:22

What’s ‘meal prep’?? Just extra meals?? What has that got to do with the gym?

FOJN · 21/04/2021 21:23

You need to feel comfortable and happy in your own home.

Not an unreasonable comment but if you decide to live with someone knowing they are a meat eater it's unfair to make them feel unhappy and uncomfortable in their own home because you find the meat eating is more of a problem than you thought it would be.

The OP is within her rights to feel the way she does but she needs to accept she is moving the goal posts if she proposes a meat free household.

Your personal feelings about other people's eating habits are irrelevant to this thread. Make choices you feel comfortable with and leave others to do the same. I personally do not allow sanctimonious, intolerant people in my house, different strokes......

Doomsdayiscoming · 21/04/2021 21:23

@cardibach

Why do you keep calling it ‘meal prep’ in inverted commas? From what I can gather it’s the actual meal, perhaps extra portions, left to cool. It’s not some sort of weird mess causing thing and he can’t make it cool more quickly. The mess he should have sorted.
She is confused with “Food Prep” which is making meals in advance, and “Meal Prep” which isn’t a thing, or it’s the detritus made whilst cooking a meal.
NailsNeedDoing · 21/04/2021 21:23

Am I the only one that doesn’t understand what meal prep actually is?

CorianderBee · 21/04/2021 21:28

@Doomsdayiscoming no meal prep is making individual meals all at the same time - so 8 pre-portioned meals that you stack and put in the fridge. Gym rats and body builders do it to save time.

Food prep is any form of preparing food.

cardibach · 21/04/2021 21:32

@CorianderBee how is that different from making a big e.g. bolognese and portioning it up for the freezer which I do all the time? Is that meal prep or food prep? They seem like the same thing to me and also not a problem sitting out cooking.

cardibach · 21/04/2021 21:32

Cooling not cooking

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