Nicknames for the neighbours

[FrankButchersDickieBow]

Are we being unreasonable for not knowing our neighbours real names and have nicknames for them instead?

We have Mr P - Mr perfect, you know the type, wears his charity t-shirt going for his jog, reels his washing line in when the clothes are dried, wears tartan for golfing etc.

Onslo and Daisy, argue on the street, loves a velor tracksuit,

The horse whisperer - walks bandy legged, obsessed with horses, has it on their letterbox

The Young Ones - only young couple who live in the street and always have people round

The Exhibitionist-loves to get out the shower and trot round naked in his room after a shower

Batty old art teacher - curly hair, does yoga, smokes weed

Shagarada - heard her shagging one night whilst we were in the garden, she had her windows open.

My name, is Michael Caine, and I am a nosey neighbour

Anyone else use nicknames?

The disgustingtons. Odd family. Windows have never been cleaned, clearly smoke indoors so they're all yellow and the frames are rotted. Come out of their house in clothes with holes in, 3 kids my age (40s) still live at home. We helped them push their car on the drive in snow once and the smell of never washed bodies was overwhelming even in heavily snowing outside.

I actually think there is an issue with the family, Mrs Disgustington comes and cuts her lawn with nail scissors after Mr Disgustington has mown it, they sweep the kerb outside their house and we always see on rubbish day Mr Disgustington pile black sacks across their driveway (never any recycling bags), Mrs Disgustington then comes put with a role of sellotape to tape all the bags shut. Inevitably they then need to leave in their car so the "kids" come out and shift all the black sacks. They'll come back then replace all the bags

My ndn is a sweet guy who keeps an eye on the street and everyone abreast of current events. You can't see him without a chat whether you want one or not. But never any malicious or nasty gossip. We call him the "newsagent"

The drug dealer (Guy with loads of BMWs and no discernible source of income)
The new neighbours (Moved in about six months ago but have barely met due to lockdown)
The ones with the puppy
Houseproud lady (Has the nicest house on the street and keeps it looking lovely)
Then there is an elderly man who my dp aspires to be when older who he refers to as ‘my mate’. He’s never spoken to him but always waves.

Oswald,
Donnie kebab & Cat weasel
Sloth
Tubby
Backpack woman & lazy man
Drug man
Mini woman
& Npow
I feel overly invested in my neighbours now and would hate to know our nickname 😂😂😂

We go one step further and name people . We know the man across the road is John because he introduced himself shortly after we moved in but we don’t know his wife’s name so we just call her Linda. The couple next door to them are Donna and Paul.

* Onslo and Daisy, argue on the street, loves a velor tracksuit*

Brilliant

Only one, the bitch next door, she reported us to the RSPCA regarding our elderly cat. He fell out of a tree when he was a kitten and broke both his hips.As a result he walked funny and the hair around the hip never grew back properly . Luckily I'd taken him to the vet the previous day and had a copy of his prescription for heart meds.

I have the Waltons one side and mr and mrs skank the other along with various little skanks.

Over the road we have the dog people and the prostitute.

I'm sure they have great names for me 😊

Love this - hoping none of these apply to me 😂

We have Beardy Man because he has a beard.

Power Tool because he always has the power tools out. Especially either early morning or after 7pm. Absolute tool.

I imagine our family is nicknamed the angels or something because we are clearly wonderful and the perfect neighbours 😉

I am related to Onslo actor by marriage!!

Of course we all do this 😇

Mr Creepy & the screeching hell hounds of the 7th circle.

The footballers wives

The nice ones

The Dr

Van man

This is hilarious. Most of ours are nice and OH knows their real names but we do have Rick Parfitt (because SHE looks uncannily like the late Status Quo member) and Nutter who drives like a maniac and is about 90 years old.

@Aprilshowersandhail my DH used to live next door to Onslow's (screen) house growing up

Our are called "The Evils". They are tree destroying, illegal bungalow constructers who like to threaten DH and call him anti semitic names whilst the kids are in the car with him. Fortunately we only share a back boundary with them.

Our wifi is called "F Off Evils"

Yes,. !! In my last place we had Sulky, she never smiled and complained about everything,!
Next to her was the Architect,. called that ,well, because we thought he looked like one, then we had the Teachers across the road, both of whom were teachers, and finally ,the Lion, a nightmare neighbour who threw eggs at people's windows amongst other things

Fucking noisy bitch..self explanatory

We have
Patty the daytime hooker (has a lot of gentlemen callers)
Blue car wanker (parks over people's drives)
Zombie pigman (my son at the height of his minecraft obsession pointed out that this chap looks like a zombie pigman and now I can't unsee it!)
Snitch bitch (called the police on my lovely nieghbour because she thought her teenage son was a visitor during lockdown, just what the poor woman needed)

I know the names of the nice nieghbours because the posties have worked out I am a SAHM so I take in parcels. I wonder what my nickname is

You lot only serve to remind me I have no imagination . Not only do I not know most of the neighbours names, I also don’t have nicknames for them. I normally call them ‘number 7’ or whatever.

Husband knows everyone’s names. He is a typical Scouse neighbour.

I have a Smelly Willy

He seems to enjoy masturbation (can hear him in my garden ) but not washing.

He was a bit of a bully after my husband died, so I don't feel too bad about my nickname for him.

I actually accidentally found out what my nickname was from one of the neighbours. Apparently the rest call me "that lesbian woman in the cottage" because I've lived here alone for 10 years and ride a bike. Imagine their shock when I acquired a boyfriend last year - people were falling over themselves to introduce themselves to him.

I know the names of the nice nieghbours because the posties have worked out I am a SAHM so I take in parcels. I wonder what my nickname is grin
Nice Parcel Lady, obviously.

Mixture of nicknames and undeniable short phrases that we'll know

The Eastos (dp is Czech so it's fine 😂)
The New Eastos
Mteve (personal reg)
Fat man (actually really nice very over weight)
Mercedes-Rose (just typical beauty spot piercing type)
Edd (he looks like Ed Milliband and is fairly awkward like him)
Weird beard man
Weedy (no doubt sells drugs occasionally smell weed from theres)
The Slag
Partridge (just reminds me of Alan P)
Oh old kev (not actually old but a Kevin and Perry vibe)
Police couple (police have been here maybe twice - fairly sure first time wasn't for them and they argue a bit)
The Bloke that always says hello
Bird that lives next door to ^ (there's nothing about them)
The odd couple right by the turning
The one that looks like your/my auntie

I don't actually live in a shit hole, it's a nice road.

@GeidiPrimes That's vile!

We have chav house as they are a bit on the rough side. Think they own some sort of cartoon bag business.

@GeidiPrimes

I have a Smelly Willy

He seems to enjoy masturbation (can hear him in my garden ) but not washing.

He was a bit of a bully after my husband died, so I don't feel too bad about my nickname for him.

Why princes like this remain single is an eternal mystery to me.