Nicknames for the neighbours

[FrankButchersDickieBow]

Are we being unreasonable for not knowing our neighbours real names and have nicknames for them instead?

We have Mr P - Mr perfect, you know the type, wears his charity t-shirt going for his jog, reels his washing line in when the clothes are dried, wears tartan for golfing etc.

Onslo and Daisy, argue on the street, loves a velor tracksuit,

The horse whisperer - walks bandy legged, obsessed with horses, has it on their letterbox

The Young Ones - only young couple who live in the street and always have people round

The Exhibitionist-loves to get out the shower and trot round naked in his room after a shower

Batty old art teacher - curly hair, does yoga, smokes weed

Shagarada - heard her shagging one night whilst we were in the garden, she had her windows open.

My name, is Michael Caine, and I am a nosey neighbour

Anyone else use nicknames?

[TroysMammy]

I know all the proper names of my neighbours except The Cunt at the end of the row.

[RockyTigerScarf]

Barry biker - he's got so many bikes

Papa john - he gets a takeaway every night without fail

Bushy Basil - he's got very nicely trimmed hedges at the front of his house

Bin thief - self explanatory

Pinterest couple - always got different displays in the window or front garden

The radish family - once saw them in tesco buying loads of radishes

Barbie - had a barbecue nearly every day of the first lockdown

Chihuahua man - he's got about 6 chihuahuas

Mr and Mrs Gnome - their garden is filled with gnomes

Mr fancy car - he's got a fancy car that he's always out washing at the weekend

Sharon - she just looks like a Sharon

[nannyshar]

We have moved now but in our previous house:
The Grumps
Pink Tracksuit - she always wore one of those pink velour tracksuits, never saw her in anything else
The Drug Dealers - their house was raided by the police at 5.30 one morning, she put one of the children near the front door while the police were battering down the door, we could hear the police shouting at her to move the child.
Knobhead - he used to put his wheelie bins in the road to save a parking space (he didn't have a dropped kerb). He once parked over our dropped kerb blocking my husband's van in because daughter's ex boyfriend parked in "his" spot. I had to stop my husband padlocking his bins together the day we moved (i was tempted to let him though).

[skirk64]

Same clothes every day guy
Ricky the crackhead
The whale
Polish gangster (as in country, not shoe polish)
The agoraphobic lesbians
Sir Percival
The munter
Vegan runner

[InpatientGardener]

Yep there's DIY man over the back fence although I think this year he's going to need changing to 'party in my garden' man

[thebakeoffwasntasgoodthisyear]

Perfect garden people - live a few doors down from us and have a manicured lawn.

Car wanker - next street, washes his cars literally every day

Middle class mums - a lesbian couple who cycle everywhere with their babies in huge baskets on the front of their bikes

Angry ginger guy - he’s the boyfriend of our next door neighbour but there is always a lot of noise when he stays over

[Sailor2009]

We've got sideshow Bob and miserable twat on one side. Mr know it all the other side. The meff two doors down and the clampets the other side of the meff. I'd love to know what they call us.

[Noshowlomo]

Yes!
We have the MPs- the Moron Parkers

Clinker (unsure of her real name but know it sounds like Clinker)

The woman with many lovers

Oh this is fun

[CompleteBarstool]

We know all their real names now but....

Loud Dad - likes a bit of loud performance parenting, seems unable to talk at a normal volume no matter who he's talking to or the time of day/night

The Parking Police - likes to tell people where they can and can't park, always has a gripe about parking

Mad Mary - rude, unreasonable and with some very strange views. Deliberately pisses off her immediate neighbours

The God Squad - as they have a Christian fish symbol and Alpha course stickers all over the windows of their car

The Stoners - self explanatory really, there's always a could of weed smoke coming from their garden

[Ivebeeninlockdowntoolong]

We had the Cheesegrater. Don't know why we gave her that name but she had a go at me once for parking outside her house (note on a main road but hey). After we had a spat about it she was absolutely fine and I think a rather nice woman in her own way.

She lived at number 17. So we did refer to our cheese grater as "can you pass me the number 17?"

[Belledan1]

We know all the names now as lived here years. We called one ferret man as he walked a ferret and my 4 year old at the time told him. He did laugh thank god it wasnt something worse.

[VienneseWhirligig]

We know a few of our neighbours names, but we still have a code.

The Driving Instructor - because that's what he does, and he posts his business card through everyone's letterbox every few months to remind us

Stella and Stoner - she smokes weed all day every day on the doorstep and he's a wife beater

Simply the Best - other side, shag loudly with windows open and she yells "you're the best" repeatedly

Dogshit Derek - his dog craps everywhere and he doesn't pick it up

Enquiries Team - because the family are always "helping the police" ie being arrested

[little0miss0mac]

DH applies the same name to everyone. He'll say "I bumped into Your Friend in the street" and then I have to guess who to access the gossip. Every single neighbour is Your Friend. It's quite endearing 😃

[HotMess21]

"Mr and Mrs God Botherer" on one side; and "Door Slamming Twatface" on the other 😳

[Mistlewoeandwhine]

We have:
The Fuckers (long story, but nearly killed my son)
The Burglars (who we actually like)
Tidy Chinese Woman (she even scrubs the paving outside her house)
The Chavs
The Weirdos

[JustMeAndWheatley]

We tend to refer to dogs or features of the houses. Names only for houses where we don’t really know the people.

Ugly red drive house
Yappy dog house
Beware of the dog house
Carrotsticks family
Drink driving man
Dangerous dog house

[CautiousPractice]

We do know all our neighbours names - but we have nicknames too from before we knew them.
The Crazy Cat Lady - Has many cats, also feeds every stray in the neighbourhood.
The Smelly Dog Lady - Has horrid yappy dogs, allows them to do their business on puppy pads in her hallway. She opened her door one summer when we were sat out front and the smell nearly killed us. Care issues were raised, and her family have helped sort her house out since, but the name stuck.
Mr Fancy Skirt - I had gone to put the bin out one evening, and he came out too, wearing a very nice long purple skirt.
Bathrobe Bandit - Whenever I went to the Bin store at the end of our block, he would come out usually in his very short bathrobe (and not much else) and block the walkway so I would be forced to talk to him. No matter what time of day I went. Bins became my partners job for this reason. BB recently passed away so we are waiting to see who moves in next.
MI5 - Our oldest resident. Very sociable. Likes a chat. If you so much as open your front door, he appears like magic. For a long time we were convinced he had cameras on the walkway so he could know we were on our way out, knows everything about everyone.
The One whose afraid of Tits - For a long time, maybe 2 years, I didn't even realise the last house on the block had an occupant. One day I was out talking to MI5 and this little man zoomed past so quickly I barely had time to register I'd seen someone. MI5 shouted hello, so I asked who that was, and he was like oh he lives on the end, lived here for about 8 years. Have only seen him sporadically since then, but noticed a pattern. If there are only males outside (MI5, BB, Mr FS, my partner), he will walk by at a normal pace, sometimes stop and chat. If any females are out (CCL, SDL, Me) he will speedwalk past like hes about to crap himself, and wont even acknowledge a hello. Only conclusion therefore is he's afraid of tits.
Our neighbours are an odd bunch, and I'm fairly certain most of them call us the kids next door. Because we are about 30 years younger than the next closest in age, and we are nearing 30 ourselves.

[Wishihadanalgorithm]

We have the Flanders (as in The Simpsons) who live around the corner. Ned does everything ‘right’ and is determined to be a good neighbour and member of the community. He is quite earnest. He will come and report news about the bin men, the estate management company etc.

Several doors down live ‘The Fit Family’ where mum and dad are both doctors and like everyone to know they are GPs as they repeatedly tell us over the Facebook group. The husband has organised a local park run type of thing and is forever banging on about it.

[GameSetMatch]

Yes we have

‘The knobheads’
‘The chavs’
‘Mr Dust’
‘ Scouse guy’
‘Mrs Sainsbury’s’
‘The old guy who likes ice cream’

I wonder what they call our family 🤔

[Piggyhoolier]

This is so normal, I’m sure everyone does it?

We know quite a lot of our neighbours and their names, but still use nicknames. One lady we always refer to as New Barbs just because Barbara used to own the house. Literally can’t get used to it not being Barb’s house. We also had The Perv behind but it transpires he wasn’t peeping and is actually a nice chap so we have to use his real name these days.

I also know someone who lives in a flat and refers to all her neighbours by their position in the building - so Mrs Top Back and Mr Middle Back. All good til she refers to Mr Front Bottom

[yumscrumfatbum]

We have
The druggie
Joan with the big boobs
Joan with the fence
The Cocks (ending of their name)
The new people (moved in 5 years ago)
Pat McCrutch (we only know her first name)
Johnny Rev (revs his car on exit of his drive)

[Aprilshowersandhail]

My df told me as a dc his ndn were The Clampets... Bikes /prams /tyres /wood /metal. Garden was a heap.
All good df didn't really care...
Until I announced one day very loudly that "df Mr Clampet is here for you" ...

[Liverbird77]

We used to have one when I lived in a flat. We called her "The feral cat" because she was always round the bins!

[dannydyerismydad]

We used to have the murderer (his wife died in suspicious circumstances). He's sold to the Hipsters.

The poo people - they get very upset about dog poo and claim to be filming the culprits (they aren't - they think it's a deterrent). They live at number 2. Which tickles me.

The Chumley Warners bought a Porsche and moved to a posher area.

The gay gardeners. Lovely couple who spend all their free time planting trees and flowers in communal areas.

The giant gnome. Massive bearded fellow who would look at home on a giant toadstool.

Shaggy - looks like him from Scooby Doo.

The man with the feet. Hideous feet. In sandals all year round.

[scrappydappydoo]

We know the names of all our neighbours but still have nicknames...
The grumpy neighbours - (very polite child friendly version of what we’d like to call them) who get very aggressive and shouty with my dc for playing in the garden
The chosen - family across the street who make far more noise than my kids but grumpy neighbours love them, play with them and give them sweets
Mrs Green - obsessed with recycling and conservation
The oldies - been here since street was built
Mr WhatsApp- updates the street WhatsApp on his daily musings
The diyers - always doing something big with the house that involves filling multiple skips
The starers- always out the front of the house chatting with someone - stares at you as you drive pass - don’t respond to friendly waves