Nicknames for the neighbours

[FrankButchersDickieBow]

Are we being unreasonable for not knowing our neighbours real names and have nicknames for them instead?

We have Mr P - Mr perfect, you know the type, wears his charity t-shirt going for his jog, reels his washing line in when the clothes are dried, wears tartan for golfing etc.

Onslo and Daisy, argue on the street, loves a velor tracksuit,

The horse whisperer - walks bandy legged, obsessed with horses, has it on their letterbox

The Young Ones - only young couple who live in the street and always have people round

The Exhibitionist-loves to get out the shower and trot round naked in his room after a shower

Batty old art teacher - curly hair, does yoga, smokes weed

Shagarada - heard her shagging one night whilst we were in the garden, she had her windows open.

My name, is Michael Caine, and I am a nosey neighbour

Anyone else use nicknames?

Various over the years.....

Richard & Judy
Harry Cross
The loadsas (as in Harry Enfield's loadsamoney)
Mr Angry
Fat slag

@Accentor

Mr and Mrs Overtheroad and their children the little Overtheroads. The Loons. Professor Dickhead. Wanda (she wanders) Phone Guy Horse

Mr and Mrs Overtheroad and their children the little Overtheroads.

This made me laugh. I'm so stealing that.

Churchy La Femme - go to church on Sundays

Crazy Lady (she once called me a c-u-next-Tuesday over a parking issue)

Druggy boy, sells pot in the little car park down the road (not to us may I add!)

My boyfriend (DH calls him that because he once saw him do a double take/check me out as I crossed the road. Said ‘boyfriend’ is about 50 years older than us!) Also sometimes called Red Shorts because...take a guess!

Angry dad - lives behind and always shouting at his kids to stop making so much noise on the trampoline. They do not stop 😂

My mate - another of Dh’s - someone I always say hi to and have a chat but we don’t actually know each other

I call my neighbours over the road the Clampits. They are scruffy and seem to take over the whole of the road with their cars parked everywhere.

Stuey Lad

The Actifries (Mr Actifry is often heard bellowing "Mary, should I put it in the Actifry?")

Pervy Mac (moved out) Pervy Mac 2 (the successor)

@Dacquoise

The spud-u-likes. All have the same scraped back hair style on potato shaped faces and universally disliked for their lack of basic courtesy and manners.

This has just made me cry! 🤣

Shouty phone guy

Spends all days wandering the village doing loud work phone calls. It amused me to discover recently that other people call him that too.

In our part of the street we know names so that's what we call them by. That is except for Mr. Knobhead, because he fits that name better than his other one.

Yep we have not long moved to this area and already have:

Ned Flanders - no explanation necessary
Tank man - drives a massive 4x4. (Came from me referring to his car as ‘his bloody tank’)
The OCG - (Line of Duty reference) The couple houses in the corner who let their kids run riot (their kids are like little Ryan Pilkingtons!)
Pablo (previously ‘drug baron’) owns a prestige car which does not mirror his house nor his lifestyle (possibly head of the OCG) 😄
Car wash - Washes his car every Sunday sometimes more frequently.

We are lucky are direct neighbours either side are lovely but there are some ‘characters’ in the street.

Lucky us, we have Fred and Rose West at one end of the village, and Sting at the other end!

In our area we have a Psycho Granny and Dobbie her daughter in law. Pyjama lady, Teen Wolf, Shagger, The Twits and Dumb and Dumber.

Oh I forgot Bea Smith. Like the character from Prisoner Cell Block H, she's "top dog" of the cul de sac. Her house is situated central at the end of the close. She is in a position to see everyone enter and leave... and she does! Her chair looks out from the window at the comings and goings. Or she stands on her step, arms folded, watching. She's the football manager's wife (Brendan & Bea)

Mr Dink for the neighbour who seemed to always have alot of gadgets and equipment. Eventually we shortened it to just Dink.

This is a fun thread!

We know most of our neighbours as we live in a kind of small secluded area where you can't help but know each other, however we have Toffee Tits (used to be toffee-nosed twit but this slip of the tongue stuck), and her boyfriend Gigantor. They never speak to anyone, ever.

Also Surly Valentine, who married her Greek lover but seems to be in a perpetual huff. We call him Stavros. They never speak to anyone either, just glower.

Over the back are the Bash Street Kids, who are heard but never seen. It sounds like there are about a dozen of them, playing outdoors all day summer and winter, shrieking, fighting and crying. I've never once heard a parent shush them, stop the fighting or control them in any way.

And a lovely old lady we call Sweet Caroline, usually shortened to Sweet C.

Wonder what nickname they have for you.

The Dog Shit Man - top of my list of suspects of who it is who repeatedly lets their obviously large dog crap lavishly up and down our street on a nightly basis and consistently fails to pick it up.

I used to have a similar problem @totallydefeated till I bought some spray cans of bright paint and coloured all the shit pink and gold. It got the neighbours talking about it and seemed to shame our dog shit man into action.

I know most of the neighbours' names except one a few doors away who we call Hot Tub Larry

The Irishman Love's young dream and all dog owner's called by the dog's name (always seem to know the dog's name)

@MrsEricBana

We don't but the man opposite once let slip that he and his wife have really unkind nicknames for everyone. He didn't say what they call us and I dread to think.

Our old next door neighbours were the same. They never told us what our nicknames were. They were generally horrible people anyway though.

@Myfriendsays

Wonder what nickname they have for you.

Lots of people have already wondered this. They were all adult enough to realise their neighbours probably do the same to them.

The Flasher - he got convicted; Those Fcking Ashole Thieves - for obvious reasons; The Witch: poor old woman with a hunch back and very hooked nose, who still drives, gripping the steering wheel for dear life and has never in 25 years returned a smile or a wave.

We had Mr & Mrs Morris, because they used to call for their cat for aaaages every night, called Morris, but you had to say it in that special cat calling voice otherwise it didn't count!

The car family, or the bloody car family, depending on how many they have at that the, we're on 2 permits per household but somehow they seem to have enough for 4-5 cars.

And gun man, who had been arrested for having a gun, but is now pervy man, as his latest offence was apparently even more heinous 😬

Your loft friends, this is because someone knocked and asked to see our newish loft extension and dh has now struck up a friendship!

The just eats

We have new ndn and they are pending a nickname, the last 2 sets were really friendly, but these aren't at all so far! They're still new and on probation tho, so they still have a chance to avoid being nicknamed.

We know all our neighbours names but still call most of them by their nicknames;
Dickhead on the corner
Fatboy and the trolls
Twathead
We don’t like our neighbours much

We used to live next door to Pingu and Ivy. I can't remember why we called them that, but it wasn't long before all the other neighbours did too. Now I just name the neighbourhood cats. Big Tabby, Cow Cat, Tripod etc etc.

My DH calls the neighbours the Pontipines (and used to say we are the Wottingers) because they are a family of 10.

It's made worse as we know all their names.