Nicknames for the neighbours

[FrankButchersDickieBow]

Are we being unreasonable for not knowing our neighbours real names and have nicknames for them instead?

We have Mr P - Mr perfect, you know the type, wears his charity t-shirt going for his jog, reels his washing line in when the clothes are dried, wears tartan for golfing etc.

Onslo and Daisy, argue on the street, loves a velor tracksuit,

The horse whisperer - walks bandy legged, obsessed with horses, has it on their letterbox

The Young Ones - only young couple who live in the street and always have people round

The Exhibitionist-loves to get out the shower and trot round naked in his room after a shower

Batty old art teacher - curly hair, does yoga, smokes weed

Shagarada - heard her shagging one night whilst we were in the garden, she had her windows open.

My name, is Michael Caine, and I am a nosey neighbour

Anyone else use nicknames?

Great thread!

We used to have Dog Man (they had a dog) but they they moved! New people were "Dog Man as was".

My husband gives the neighbours real names but then I can never remember if they are their actual names or made up names!

I LOVE this! 🤣 We have nicknames for all our neighbours and I was asking DH if he thinks anyone else does this!! I see they do!
Mrs Mangel - for fans of the show Neighbours. Always hanging out the window watching everything! Her husband Lawnmower Man - mows the lawn every bloody week!!!

Nosferato - a couple who cast no shadow and hover by!! You never hear them coming! Even their car is quiet.

House Dress - she’s always in a tent of a dress and we have many names for her awful partner that cannot be shared here!

Kettle Bell Jimmy - this guy runs up and down the street with kettle bells on and off all day!

Pink PANTSer - likes to wear pink cords and is generally a bit wussy!
That’s in our small culdesac. It’s crazy out there 🤣

Love this thread! We have...

'Nose ointment' - speaks for itself. Has to know all.

'Look back' - a guy who always walks past our house and looks back at it without fail.

'Washey' - a woman who looks like she always needs good wash.

'Invert' - a neighbour who once spoke to me about how she used to try to breast feed but couldn't as she had inverted nipples. She said this randomly as I was getting the shopping indoors.

'Blinkey' - blinks a lot.

I think there are lots more to be honest but these instantly spring to mind! 🙈

Tractor lady and her husband tractor man. No idea what their names are but they have a very noisy vintage tractor they putter around on

We've had:
Dressing gown lady
Balcony bell ends
Can't drive for shit (this covers a few neighbours and we usually have to figure out which person we mean)
Nice family
Red focus boy
The window cleaner
Drug dealer
'Go to felixstowe on holiday' family
Mercedes man
Amazon twat
Moody cow with the nice boyfriend

I called our old next door neighbor Trev for years. I've got no idea what his real name was.
We also have Naked Woman who's frosted glass in the bathroom does not hide anything

Reminds me of flop 1980 sitcom "Suntrap" with neighbours nicknamed Drops them for anyone, Mrs Scrap and 92 in the Shade.

Fish Sticks- woman who has so much filler she looks like a trout, and she has oddly long legs.
Princess Anne- Horse obsessed nutter who likes to tell us how wild she is for wearing jodhpurs to walk the dogs and uses horse terminology she knows we don't understand like those annoying horse people do.
The Whos- a couple with pointy noses- look like siblings from the grinch/related to Cindy-Lou Who.
Fred and Rose- creepy couple who never have visitors and never seem to leave the house. No post, deliveries or anything. We only see them when they stroll down the street and stare up at each house they pass.

Our lovely neighbour told us our not-so-lovely neighbours refer to us as 'The Vampires' because we're pale with dark hair. They also tried to get social services involved with our family because they think it's abusive that we dress our kids in black sometimes. We call that couple 'The Cunts'.

We have dead by dawn because she’s a nosy old bag who looks like the demon woman in the basement in the evil dead film.
Dr Death next door cos he’s a funeral director (and actually lovely and he’s fully aware the whole street call him this🤣)
And the mad professor the other side cos he was banging outside at 5am one time, me and dh got up to see what the twat was doing and he was banging a baking tray wearing his pants, a vest with no teeth in and his long grey hair flying about
My friend down the road had “hedgey” because they were arguing about the shared drive and he punched her so she punched him back and he went flying over the hedge 🤣🤣

Ooh yes, we used to have:
bags. (never saw him without at least 3 pieces of luggage in hand)

Twisty neck ( was able to twist her head round while chin was on her chest to peer in as she passed)

Forty coats (no specific reason)

Not the mama. (She looked like the dad from the dinosaurs)

The mad one ( used to abandon her car in the most random places and ask to borrow the maddest things)

Rodney ( sounded just like him, we're in Ireland)

Misery guts (pretty self explanatory)

The curly dude

The auld lad with the dog

Fucksticks (no real reason)

We currently have

White arse ( because she showed it to us the day we moved in) and that's it. We're very rural these days

Tim nice but dim.

Wendy’s uncle.

Joe the man and jo the woman.

Helen opposite.

Over the years we have had:

The grumps - Always miserable
The perves - Used to see them walking naked around their garden
Bible John - Would read the bible on the commute to and from work.
Jurgen the German - He wasn't German but looked like he should be.
Johnny 2 Jags - Had 2 Jags but has since sold one.
Banana man - He was always eating bananas.
Dog shit Stan - He would let his ancient Bulldog shit anywhere and never picked it up.
Bob, Sue and Rita too - There was something going on there.

Our current neighbours are quite bland.

We do actually know most of our neighbours names now, but we still refer to most of them by the nicknames we gave them before we did

We have Bob the builder (who is actually a plumber called Ian) who used to have a 'princess on board' sticker in his car, therefore his children are the big princess, the little princess and the prince, and his wife is the queen.

Twitchy Curtains (Twitchy for short) which is self explanatory

Siamese Cat Lady, she has two.

and the Wizard who has long white hair and beard !

I've just read 12 pages trying to see if any of them were us hahah!

We have Shagger (very noisy next door neighbour whose boyfriend only comes round at night)

The GETs (they affectionately described themselves as 'the gays in the end terrace' when we moved in, it stuck)

Neighbourhood Watch - nosy man at 32, looks through you car window and then has to comment what he's seen: "I saw you'd been to that new taco place", because you left a receipt on your passenger seat

The Ferals - 3 horrendously behaved children who throw things at cats on the street, scream outside on the street at all hours and whose mum just serenely sunbathes in her front garden while they climb on people's garden walls and generally cause havoc

You lot are very imaginative

I have a few but know most of the close neighbours so use their names.

The shouty ones
Dr something or other and his wife
The renters (these change every 2 years or so)
Cat haters (they sprayed my cat with a hose while he was on the fence) have since moved but new owners are also the cat sprayers.
The kiwis
The shitty white pebble house (we don't know who lives there but they dig up their garden, placed some putting green and surrounded it with shitty white pebbles, it looks crap and is full of weeds.)
Noisy fuckers

The chavs - obvious reasons
Kim - not actually called Kim that’s their car reg
Next to Kim - lives next to Kim who isn’t Kim
New dog man - recently moved in and has dogs, may eventually become dog man or old dog man
Big truck guy, big truck guys wife
Grotbags - we hate her
Mr Christmas
We actually know their real names but will forever call them this. And then 5 sets of adorable neighbours who are too lovely to nickname

We have:
Tweety Pie & Uncle Nobhead
The umpa lumpahs
Hop a long
Shuffler
Van man
Avon woman

The cunts
Dave shorts (wears shorts in all weather, I have never seen him wear trousers)
Misery and not misery (sisters)
6 cars
Ten to two (elderly nervous driver)
The ark (house full of Christians)
Botch job and the liers (whole house has been renovated on the cheap. Think bay window added on but not built in to the brickwork, so it's easing away from the house, and they lie about everything - or try and downplay stuff so we no longer believe a word)
Like a pp we also have the Joneses! They constantly buy new stuff and have work done on their house. They are really lovely people.
We know all their real names (apart from the cunts) but use nicknames as code

We have -
The Navy guy - he must be 90 and he wears a full navy uniform - 2 ringer and medals
Eco Warrior - steals wood from our garden for his log burner
Daphne Du Maurier - her real name is Rebecca
The Young People - they drink a lot of cider - recycling reveals
Bungalow Bill - nothing on top (bald) but packing down below - pleather trousers.....

We have
The teacher and thunder c##t- both absolute twats
The recluses- only see them entering and leaving and never any lights on
The paper girl- about 60yo see her walking to the shop about 5 times a day
The dog sitters- speaks for itself
Cake hands- again.....
And artificial wall - they have sheet of fake plastic plants wrapped over it 🤔

@triceratopsmama 🤣🤣🤣 “Not the Mama”!!!

We have
The Hoarders - so much stuff piled up in their windows
Lance Armstrong (next door) - cycles to work each day then comes home and goes on his exercise bike in the shed for hours. We call his wife Lord Lucan cos we never see her.

The Gingers - self explanatory.

Dead Pixels - young couple across the road. They have no curtains and in the evenings he's in one upstairs room making something and she's in the other upstairs room on her computer with a massive headset on.

The Starey McStareyson's across the road - the adults and their 3 children constantly staring. The 2 little girls share the front bedroom and when they were homeschooling, they were constantly up there staring out of the window at me working in our front downstairs room.

Mamil - always cycling with all the gear ( including go pro on the top of his cycle helmet)

R Kelly - I'm not sure who this is but someone's WiFi is named "Wi believe I can Fi" (I think it's Dead Pixels, dh disagrees)

Oh and I forgot our other next door neighbour - The Beemers. There's only 2 adults in the house but they have 4 BMWs
They seem to walk everywhere as well.

Van man coz he drives a van obviously
Hyacinth bucket because she thinks she’s better than the rest of the road.
The people in Barbara house- Barbara moved years ago but we still call it Barbara’s house.- sent them a Xmas card to find out their names but they didn’t send us one back so now known as ignorant people in Barbara’s house

Quite a few people named after their dogs eg. Mr and Mrs Chumley, Mr. Milo.

Some people named for snatches of overheard conversation eg. Mr and Mrs Wellmygastisflabbered (now more generally known as the Flabbers) and Mrs Ihardlythinkso, usually shortened to Mrs Hardly.

Mr Hot Dinners who has apparently seen more of X than we have had hot dinners.