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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sharing Prime login with wealthy sibling?

108 replies

PrimeQueen · 20/04/2021 21:43

I have an Amazon Prime subscription which I've had for a few years. When I first got it, I shared my login with my sister when she was visiting and told her (after a few glasses of wine!) that she could use it when she got home. Her profile comes up on my telly every time I log in. I know she uses it because she changes her profile name and image every now and then.

So onto the AIBU. I'm a single parent. I earn a reasonable amount so me and my kids aren't on the breadline, but my salary is my only income, and I have to save up for big purchases like most people. My sister on the other hand is married to a millionaire (inherited wealth) and doesn't work. Her husband works a couple of days a week and they own a house in London and one in the country. They have a very comfortable lifestyle and don't ever have to worry about money.

Sometimes I feel a bit peeved that she's using my account. It doesn't cost me anything extra because she never downloads any films or anything or order any deliveries. AIB really mean spirited? Would it annoy you too?

Anyway, I'm not about to delete her from the account because that would upset her and she's really a very kind person. I was just wondering if I was being unreasonable for feeling a bit annoyed that I'm subbing her telly watching.

OP posts:
Returnoftheowl · 20/04/2021 21:45

I think if it is annoying you then you either need to say something or let it go.

zippyswife · 20/04/2021 21:45

Yeah that would irk me

MeepleMe · 20/04/2021 21:45

YANBU. She should be paying you half the cost. Regardless of anyone's financial situation tbh, you both use it, so cost should be shared.

Boom45 · 20/04/2021 21:46

Its not costing you anything and its your sister. Apart from a bit of jealousy about her wealth it sounds like you like her. Why not just leave it as it is? Wouldn't annoy me at all

Hidinginstaircupboard · 20/04/2021 21:48

Can see how it'd irritate you. if she's otherwise kind and generous, I'd let it go

Guess you could drop hints that you'd like her Netflix password please 😀

Wiredforsound · 20/04/2021 21:48

YABU, you literally told her she could, it costs you not one penny more, and it doesn’t inconvenience you in any way. I guess you think she should pay because she has more money than you.

dohdohdoh · 20/04/2021 21:49

Cancel your subscription.

If she asks just say you were reviewing your subscriptions and felt this should be part of the cull.

A few weeks later you can rejoin again, change your login details etc. And she should not be able to access. Sorted.

GoWalkabout · 20/04/2021 21:49

If you shared it happily then, why begrudge now. Be generous with free stuff rather than cause unnecessary offence. If it is causing you an issue that's different, just tell her it doesn't work for you anymore.

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 20/04/2021 21:50

Send a text saying "Hi sis, I can no longer afford Amazon Prime but if you get it yourself can you return the favour please and set me up a profile?"

Haffiana · 20/04/2021 21:51

It wouldn't make you richer if you didn't share it, would it? You are simply blaming your sister for the way you feel.

Own your jealousy.

mamal29 · 20/04/2021 21:51

@Haffiana

It wouldn't make you richer if you didn't share it, would it? You are simply blaming your sister for the way you feel.

Own your jealousy.

This
bakingdemon · 20/04/2021 21:52

Would you still have it if it was just for you? If so surely it doesn't make any difference? Why not ask if she has a Netflix or Disney log in you can share?

Lou98 · 20/04/2021 21:54

Sorry but I think YABU. You were paying for it anyway and told her she could use it

AnneLovesGilbert · 20/04/2021 21:56

I couldn’t get exercised about this. It’s not costing you a penny.

So she’s well off, that’s lovely for her, it doesn’t make her less deserving of something you previously specifically offered her.

katy1213 · 20/04/2021 21:57

So why did you tell her she could share it if you're going to be resentful when she does? If it irks you that much, cancel. (She'll still have a millionaire husband, two houses and room for a pony, though!)

HikeForward · 20/04/2021 21:57

If it’s not costing you anything and you told her it’s ok, why would you upset and embarrass her over it?

It’s like hosts refusing to share a wifi password. Or saying their guests cannot use the Sky channels as they’d be ‘subbing’ their TV viewing. Very inhospitable especially as your sister is kind.

It’s not her fault she’s financially better off, and asking her to pay part of your Prime subscription when she only uses it occasionally (and only the free parts) sounds mean and petty.

When you go to her houses do you make use of her facilities, things you don’t have at home? Would you feel you can’t read her magazines in case she feels her subscription is subbing your reading?

MrBond · 20/04/2021 21:57

Could you just tell her that you might not be renewing it this year because you can't afford to and things are tight financially?

If she's worth her salt as a sister she'll offer to get it on her own account and let you in on hers.

Be careful though; if it's her husband's money he might be keeping it quite close to his chest and being financially controlling. I'd only take the above tack if you're sure that's not the case.

VienneseWhirligig · 20/04/2021 21:59

I've somehow wound up paying for most subscriptions that my entire family uses Hmm but I would probably have them anyway so it is a minor irritation more than anything, only notice it when I'm ordering on Amazon and there are the bank cards and delivery addresses of my parents, sister, son, sister's partner and her parents... we are close though and they are all generous so I let it go.

Winterwoollies · 20/04/2021 22:00

If you don’t fancy telling her straight because it would upset her (!) then I’d cancel it, tell her I had to as I couldn’t justify or manage the expense anymore (to make a point) then I’d reopen one with a different email.

Original poster
PrimeQueen · 20/04/2021 22:00

I'm not blaming her for the way I feel at all. It's entirely my problem! I don't feel like I could cancel because she'd feel terrible but I still feel irritated. Irked is a good word @zippyswife

I'm not jealous, I'm irked Smile

OP posts:
Overdueanamechange · 20/04/2021 22:02

She is your sister; it doesn't cost you anything to let her use it, so what is the big deal? Sounds more like inverted snobbery to me, because they inherited rather than earned.

Amelia666 · 20/04/2021 22:02

I really wouldn’t be bothered by this one iota. The cost is the same either way if you still keep using it; I’d see it as quite sweet sisterly sharing - asking to split a couple of quid a month that you’d be spending anyway would be weird.

If it really bothers you then just change your password/login.

TokenGinger · 20/04/2021 22:03

I think it depends why you have Prime. If you have it for the tv alone then I'd feel a bit put out, but I pay for Prime so I have unlimited free deliveries with a quick turnaround, along with extra books for my kindle and the tv is a bonus. She wouldn't be benefiting from anything else so I really wouldn't be bothered. It's not like I'd give up my Prime to use my brother's login because then I'd forfeit the free deliveries etc which is the reason I have it.

Cocomarine · 20/04/2021 22:04

You’re not subbing her, because it costs you nothing.
My sister earns more than me - I’d feel horribly patronised if she suggested that she pay and I use her account.
Either you can afford it yourself, or you can’t. If you can - which you obviously decided - this is a non-issue.

Keepmekeeping · 20/04/2021 22:09

No your paying for it anyway and said she could use it. Her being rich makes no difference. If it cost you more like netflix where you pay for screens then yes you can say no to using it.

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