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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sharing Prime login with wealthy sibling?

108 replies

PrimeQueen · 20/04/2021 21:43

I have an Amazon Prime subscription which I've had for a few years. When I first got it, I shared my login with my sister when she was visiting and told her (after a few glasses of wine!) that she could use it when she got home. Her profile comes up on my telly every time I log in. I know she uses it because she changes her profile name and image every now and then.

So onto the AIBU. I'm a single parent. I earn a reasonable amount so me and my kids aren't on the breadline, but my salary is my only income, and I have to save up for big purchases like most people. My sister on the other hand is married to a millionaire (inherited wealth) and doesn't work. Her husband works a couple of days a week and they own a house in London and one in the country. They have a very comfortable lifestyle and don't ever have to worry about money.

Sometimes I feel a bit peeved that she's using my account. It doesn't cost me anything extra because she never downloads any films or anything or order any deliveries. AIB really mean spirited? Would it annoy you too?

Anyway, I'm not about to delete her from the account because that would upset her and she's really a very kind person. I was just wondering if I was being unreasonable for feeling a bit annoyed that I'm subbing her telly watching.

OP posts:

MumW · 21/04/2021 10:57

You could try telling her that you're making cutbacks and prime is one of the things that will go. If she uses it that much, she'll probably take out her own subscription, and you'd hope that if she does, she might offer you the login as you did for her.
This is what I was thinking.
Your DSis sounds nice, your BIL not so much.

IliveonCoffee · 21/04/2021 10:58

We pay for some subscriptions for DPs family, and don't get any in return.

But there's different views to be had. While you wouldn't be any the richer for not letting access it does colour your view.

Take my Spotify subscription, its £15 for the family. For me it's totally worth that price for me alone, so anyone else linked is frankly an added bonus.

Disney plus on the other hand, we don't use that much, so in some ways its cost is only worth it because of the sharing. If it was that price for just me, it would probably be cancelled.

So while you're none the richer for excluding people, it does make a difference whether including them is a bonus to having or justification of having.

If the sharing is 'justifying' the price, then a contribution is probably in order, or cancelling.

So, If you think the 80 or whatever for prime is a good price for just you, then your sil is a bonus. If 80 is no longer reasonable, then ask her to pay half. If she decides 40 isn't a good price, then she's told you she doesn't value prime enough to pay for it. As you don't value it enough to pay 80, cancel it.

Value the subscription to you personally, and see extra profiles etc., as bonuses. If its not worth the price for you alone, then cancel or ask for a contribution

aiwblam · 21/04/2021 11:01

I would be concerned that Amazon would get wise to you breaking the rules (I presume this is against the rules) and give you charges for the deliveries for which your sister should have paid. It’s surely the case that is isn’t supposed to be used by multiple households?

BlackberrySky · 21/04/2021 11:07

I would just let her know you're cancelling it, do that, and then set your own up if you still want it. That's the downside for her of piggybacking - you control it.

Thatisnotwhatisaid · 21/04/2021 11:15

That would annoy me too. DH’s best friend (who doesn’t even live in the UK so barely sees DH) used our Apple Music for years. We have a family plan but everyone’s music syncs so we’d have his crappy music play on shuffle and it drove me mad. He has more than enough money to pay for his own but used ours for years, he only recently stopped using it.

Bluntness100 · 21/04/2021 11:20

@Silverfly

I'd be irked about this too OP. It's not costing you any more - but it's not costing her anything at all! She should offer to contribute.

How much would she contribute for watching an occasional free tv program on it? She doesn’t use delivery, buy content, anything, so what, 50 p a month? Or pay per free content she uses? I’d understand if she was using it fully grtting deliveries etc, but she’s not. She literally occasionally watches inc content and that’s it.

starfishmummy · 21/04/2021 11:27

If shes not doing anything that costs you extra I'd just let it go.

Devlesko · 21/04/2021 11:30

We share ds1 Netflix account, ain't going to pay for it, hardly want to watch anything.
If it bothers you that much tell her you aren't going to do it anymore.
Change your password.

CounsellorTroi · 21/04/2021 11:41

She could at least offer to pay half the Prime subscription, or get Netflix and offer to share that with you.

Taoneusa · 21/04/2021 11:48

Fair to say to her that sharing Prime is nice! I’ve been paying for X years...how about you taking your turn to pay for the next X years?

EverythingRuined · 21/04/2021 11:59

YAB massively U
"I'm not about to delete her from the account because that would upset her and she's really a very kind person"

If I were you I would be pleased to be doing something for her. If she is a 'very kind person' why on earth wouldn't you want to be 'kind' to her.

The fact she is well off is irrelevant.

I'm the well off sibling and do lots for my parents and siblings but I still appreciate little gestures that come my way. It's not a money thing it's a thoughtfulness thing.

I can't believe how mean spirited so many Mumsnetters are.

TirisfalPumpkin · 21/04/2021 12:06

Isn’t this against the terms of service anyway? You can have multiple people on the account but they need to be from the same household.

Maybe just change the password if you’re conflict averse & see if she brings it up. She probably isn’t deliberately being CFish but agreeing to something onetime doesn’t oblige you to supply her with Prime video for free into perpetuity.

Bluntness100 · 21/04/2021 12:15

@Taoneusa

Fair to say to her that sharing Prime is nice! I’ve been paying for X years...how about you taking your turn to pay for the next X years?

Becayse the sister hardly uses it.

Taoneusa · 21/04/2021 12:19

Bluntness100 - cancel my response, then.

If she hardly uses it, your resentment isn’t actually about Prime.

CounsellorTroi · 21/04/2021 12:24

Becayse the sister hardly uses it.

I understood the OP to say she does use it, but only stuff that’s included in the subscription, not the stuff you have to pay extra to watch.

Ell17 · 21/04/2021 12:24

@EverythingRuined

YAB massively U "I'm not about to delete her from the account because that would upset her and she's really a very kind person"

If I were you I would be pleased to be doing something for her. If she is a 'very kind person' why on earth wouldn't you want to be 'kind' to her.

The fact she is well off is irrelevant.

I'm the well off sibling and do lots for my parents and siblings but I still appreciate little gestures that come my way. It's not a money thing it's a thoughtfulness thing.

I can't believe how mean spirited so many Mumsnetters are.

THIS!!! 👏👏

I am in the same situation - we pay for Amazon prime and my well off sister uses the account.....SO what!! That's family. You talk about "subbing family" - are you the type of person to go out for a family meal and split the Bill with a calculator down to the last penny??
If you have an open, close relationship with your sister you should be able to speak to her about it. If it were my sister I'd say "loving Amazon Prime bitch??" And we'd laugh and laugh and then she'd offer the money and I'd still say no!! No love lost eh 🤟🏻

SirDidymus · 21/04/2021 12:33

I think the worst option is to share your login but resent it. Honestly, that's not fair to your sister who is damaging the relationship without anyone telling her (having been told she could use the login). Either take it off her or let her use it with good grace.

I share all my logins with various family members (Prime, Netflix, NowTV) and am happy to do so, with the understanding that because they are my logins and I pay for them, I can switch off memberships at will. e.g. My NowTV login sometimes has Sky movies and/or entertainment on but when I've watched everything I want to, I switch them off again for a few months until the content has built back up again. Anyone using my login is welcome to watch while the content is switched on but is banned from complaining to me when it's off

Kazplus2 · 21/04/2021 13:10

Why don't you ask her for her Netflix or Spotify account details. Word it in a way that shoes you both benefit that way, rather than now where only she benefits.

surreymum89 · 21/04/2021 13:21

I share a streaming service login with my brother , he has more money than me and no kids to pay for but I would have the service whether he used it or not and I already had it when he wanted to start using it. Doesn't bother me at all, he would share with me if he had something I wanted to use , he is also very generous buys me and my children lovely gifts , is it that you feel your sister wouldn't share if it was the other way round?

tiredmum2468 · 21/04/2021 13:55

If she's annoying you I would cancel the account and tell her you can't afford it anymore

Leave it a couple of weeks and open a. New one if you want one and just move on from it

If she knows your financial situation that's incredibly rude

amusedbush · 21/04/2021 14:11

Why? Why do you sub your family like that?

That’s quite a miserly attitude.

I gave my FIL the password to our Sky Go account so he can watch football games. DH watches sport on the TV anyway so FIL has full access to the app on his tablet. He has money to pay for his own Sky if he wanted it but it doesn’t cost us anything extra and it’s a nice thing to do.

I don’t see it as ‘subbing’ family and I wouldn’t make them pay for their own access out of spite.

Muddycob · 21/04/2021 14:40

I share my prime account with my mum & a friend has added me to Disney+ which I'd never bought myself & didn't even use for few months after added me (they wanted to return a favour) but now watch lots on there.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to afford prime when years sub runs out so I was going to suggest my mum pays as my birthday or Christmas present, maybe something similar would work.

Devlesko · 21/04/2021 14:43

You really don't have to pay for Prime anyway, it's usually free.
Just keep accepting the free trial, then your dh, then one of the dc if old enough.
I've never had to pay for it.

DianaT1969 · 21/04/2021 14:49

There are a few posters on here who would also begrudge their family from benefiting from 'free' generosity. What goes around comes around. I feel sorry for you that you never had a friend or family member who would have given you the shirt off their back. I was blessed with many such family members and friends.

JollyAndBright · 21/04/2021 15:00

In my family we all share accounts.
My sister and I both have sky, my parents and other sister(2) don’t, they use the log ins for our sky go to watch sky.
We have Amazon prime, everyone uses it,
My sister pays for Disney plus, which we all use,
My parents pay for Netflix with enough screens for everyone to use.

Maybe you could ask your sister to do something similar?

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