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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to ask you at what age do you think 2 girls could be left alone overnight?

133 replies

Bunnyfuller · 20/04/2021 18:42

...posting for traffic, and yes, all kids are different.

It would be an overnight, but about 200 miles from us. No family local.

OP posts:
DownWhichOfLate · 20/04/2021 18:44

When I was 16 I was left home alone for two weeks with my 18 year old sister whilst the rest of our family went on holiday. It was fantastic!

MadMadMadamMim · 20/04/2021 18:46

I'd have said 16 and 18 probably. (Don't know the age gap!)

200 miles from home and no local family I'd want one of them to be 18 really.

livingthegoodlife · 20/04/2021 18:47

17 & 16+

Dipi79 · 20/04/2021 18:50

13+14.

aquashiv · 20/04/2021 18:51

18

vdbfamily · 20/04/2021 18:52

As you can be legally married at 16 you would hope you could be safe and responsible left with a friend but some kids would not be.

Mammymar · 20/04/2021 18:52

I would say 16

Waterfallgirl · 20/04/2021 18:52

Yes I would want one to be 18 too, if looking after their sister.

therocinante · 20/04/2021 18:53

Older one 17 or 18, younger one no younger than 15 (or a sensible 14, if the older isn't likely to sod off out and leave her).

Icancelledthecheque · 20/04/2021 18:53

I’m leaving my DD15 (almost 16) with 3 of her friends (16) but I’m comfortable with that because even if I’m 100 miles away, her dad is five minutes down the road.

I wouldn’t be 200 miles away unless one was 18 though I don’t think!

Aprilshowersandhail · 20/04/2021 18:53

Not under 16
..

Original poster
Bunnyfuller · 20/04/2021 18:53

One is 16 the other 15. It wouldn’t be immediately because Covid. But DH and I haven’t had a night alone since they were born. Just seen a very tempting offer, but the overnight bit makes me wobbly!

OP posts:
cushioncovers · 20/04/2021 18:54

14 16 with family on stand by if needed as long as the two girls are sensible and get on well.

worrybutterfly · 20/04/2021 18:55

Depends if you have close friends or decent neighbours nearby who'd be able to help in an emergency.

I'd say 16+ but we have family within a 30min drive and amazing neighbours who I know my DD would feel comfortable knocking on their door if she needed anything urgently.

paralysedbyinertia · 20/04/2021 18:56

Ideally, I would say 15+ for the younger one if there are no local family/friends who could keep an eye on them and the older one isn't officially "babysitting". I'm assuming they're both under 18?

My dc is 15 and exceptionally sensible.I wouldn't leave her at home alone overnight just yet, though I'm sure she would be absolutely fine. I'd feel much more comfortable leaving her with an older sibling, though.

If the older one was 17, mature, sensible and comfortable with taking on the responsibility for looking after a younger sibling overnight, then I guess it would be ok for them to babysit a much younger child. I wouldn't leave a 16yo in charge of a younger one overnight, though - not without back-up available.

Seeline · 20/04/2021 18:56

Me and my sister were 17 and 15 when we were left for the first time. My parents went abroad for 2weeks!!

Echobelly · 20/04/2021 18:56

If oldest 16 and mature, and honestly if they feel comfortable looking after a youngest that's at least school age (pre-school/baby probably too young), I think that'd be fine. Plenty of 16 year olds are babysitters, and your own child is in their own house, can make a phone call in emergency etc. But I am apparently shockingly lax about this compared to most!

I was left home alone, sometimes for a few nights, at 16, as my dad was working abroad and sometimes my mum would go to visit him while my siblings were up at uni (I'm the youngest). Grandparents and friends were near at hand.

ThePearSquare · 20/04/2021 18:58

Ideally I’d want one of them to be over 18 and able to drive if there were no family living nearby, just in case anything terrible happened where they needed medical help.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 20/04/2021 18:58

At least 16.

I was younger when I was left overweight, my parents both on night shift, but mum was 5 minutes away, dad was 30 mins away , easily contactable on the phone , "watchful" pain in the ass nosey neighbours and I had experience of being left alone during the day for years.

I just watched whatever crap I wanted on TV until really late and slept in their bed or stay up all night online.Grin

Allthephotos · 20/04/2021 19:00

14 and 17 our family went on holiday abroad for a few weeks.
but my sister was a really goody two shoes.....until that is my mum and dad left....she cracked open the Hooch and fags and we went clubbing most nights with her friends.
It was so.much fun until my mum and dad came home a day early Shock

Dozer · 20/04/2021 19:00

Fine at those ages IMO

Sexnotgender · 20/04/2021 19:01

At least 16.

Honestly I wouldn’t leave my 17 year old on her own. However that’s more due to the fact we live in a big old house and she has some mental health issues that she struggles with.

If they’re sensible 16&15 is probably fine.

paralysedbyinertia · 20/04/2021 19:02

@Bunnyfuller

One is 16 the other 15. It wouldn’t be immediately because Covid. But DH and I haven’t had a night alone since they were born. Just seen a very tempting offer, but the overnight bit makes me wobbly!
At 15 and 16, they would probably be ok, but would you have someone they could contact in an emergency? Friend? Neighbour?

Tbh, I would only leave them at this age out of necessity, and only then if they were both sensible, responsible, got on well etc. I wouldn't personally choose to do it just for a night away with DH if I'm honest. If you've been waiting since they were born, can't you hang on for another year or two?!

RolloverRollover · 20/04/2021 19:02

I went away for a week when mine were 16.

Personally, I would be a night away very much closer to home to see how they go and then do the 200 miles away thing.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 20/04/2021 19:03

16 and 15 sounds fine. I was living on my own at 17.