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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you say this is boasting?

113 replies

Isaidwhatisaid1 · 20/04/2021 16:41

A friend frequently drops comments like "My DP always likes to have at least 5k in the bank as a minimum"
Telling me without me asking anything that she earned 34k a year (late 20s)
She said she couldn't buy foundation during the first lockdown as the Estée Lauder make up counter was closed or something?
"The other day I was able to buy shoes at £120 and didn't bat an eyelid"
"our house is so messy because the cleaner hasn't been due to lockdown"

I'm on a low wage so can't really relate to any of these comments, not sure if it's to make herself seem important or to show off? I am not bothered how much money her and her husband has but admittedly sometimes I feel a bit rubbish when I'm with her.

OP posts:

feistymumma · 21/04/2021 10:59

She sounds braggy, had a friend like this. Every conversation was littered with my Gucci bag this, my Range Rover that, our lavish holiday to so and so. She actually turned into a vacuous bragging friend and I told her this that there was more to life than talking about material things and brand names. She accused me of being jealous and I had to stop myself rolling on the floor with laughter. I don't mind talking about labels but but if it's every sentence! There is seriously more to life.

quarentini · 21/04/2021 11:07

She sounds insecure .
Like she needs these things to be liked or fit in.
Smile , nod and change the subject.
Hopefully she will grow out of it

KarmaStar · 21/04/2021 11:14

Pride comes before....

the80sweregreat · 21/04/2021 11:23

Depends how she said it all to be honest.
In context , tone of voice, it's hard to judge just seeing it written down like this. Is she a nice person generally? Has she always been prone to mentioning what she has etc , or is this all new?
If she is just ' bragging' for no reason and it's annoying you I'd go one up on something she mentions and gauge her reaction ( oh, only Estée Lauder , I prefer la mer foundation myself)
I hate braggers, but she may just be someone who likes chit chat about things. It could also all be total nonsense and she is just bigging up the spending sprees.

Bluesheep8 · 21/04/2021 11:56

She just sounds very immature.

Also very insecure.

Reinventinganna · 21/04/2021 12:07

Surely it depends on the context of the conversations.

If you were talking about savings and she said about her savings, it’s in context.

If you were talking about make up and she mentioned her favourite brand, it’s in context. Same with the cleaner, same with the salary.

Even the shoes depends on the conversation and how she said it.

Talking about money is quite rude but it really does depend on the conversation.

Why are you friends?

wildwildsouth · 21/04/2021 12:16

Yes, sounds like my friend to be honest. She makes me cringe.

Miranda15110 · 21/04/2021 12:17

She needs validation and sounds insecure. I really couldn't be arsed to have a friend like this. Who actually cares what other people have or haven't got. Contentment is a much better goal in life!

MumsMeaningfulMayhem · 21/04/2021 12:20

I wouldn't say she was boasting. I think she's just talking about the realities of her life with her friend.
However, I would say she is insensitive and thoughtless.
Whatever you want to call it, she shouldn't be doing it in my opinion.

dotdashdashdash · 21/04/2021 12:31

Yes, I have friend who is similar it really annoys me. She'll frequently drop in to conversation how much her DP earns, how much their house is worth, how much their next holiday is going to be or what she was able to buy last week on a whim.

What she doesn't realise, is that our household income is more than theirs - and she doesn't realise it because I'm not a dick who drops our earnings in to every conversation. She couldn't understand how we could afford a more expensive house than her (her comment was "wow, houses must be much cheaper up North for you to afford all this" - err, no, it cost more than yours did by a long way, you're only in Birmingham love, but I didn't say that!) and that our kids go to private school - I've never explicitly mentioned that the school is private, but it did genuinely come up in conversation recently. I really really try not to talk money with her but she just brings it up at every opportunity, and if the opportunity doesn't arise, she will make it arise!

EthelHall0w · 21/04/2021 12:47

"I'm on a low wage so can't really relate to any of these comments.....

......but admittedly sometimes I feel a bit rubbish when I'm with her."

The friend knows these things about the op, yet insists on bragging. You could forgive an insensitive comment, but collectively they form an ugly picture of someone that brags about ultimately a mediocre salary and rattles on about what she spends her 34k (before tax I'm sure) on.

Who needs enemies with a friend like that.

Beans13 · 21/04/2021 12:55

Your friend sounds like a dick OP.

I have a friend like this, although he is male, and constantly tries to boast about his average wage and loves to randomly show me his savings accounts???? I grin and nod.

Foxglovesandlilacs · 21/04/2021 12:59

I’m not sure any of those things are anything to boast about, especially the first one. I’d prefer to have more than few grand in the bank tbh.

So sounds like she’s grown up poor but now has a bit of money and isn't used to it, so is using every opportunity to let everyone know she’s got a few quid.

Genuinely well off people don't tend to do this.

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