Would you say this is boasting?

[Isaidwhatisaid1]

A friend frequently drops comments like "My DP always likes to have at least 5k in the bank as a minimum"
Telling me without me asking anything that she earned 34k a year (late 20s)
She said she couldn't buy foundation during the first lockdown as the Estée Lauder make up counter was closed or something?
"The other day I was able to buy shoes at £120 and didn't bat an eyelid"
"our house is so messy because the cleaner hasn't been due to lockdown"

I'm on a low wage so can't really relate to any of these comments, not sure if it's to make herself seem important or to show off? I am not bothered how much money her and her husband has but admittedly sometimes I feel a bit rubbish when I'm with her.

There is a good money board, maybe it can help you get the financial situation better? Worth a look

Thank you i will have a look !

I had a 'friend' like this. Turns out most of it was lies and she lived in total fantasy land. In fact she was still the same insecure compulsive liar I knew at school. I'd foolishly thought that she'd grown up by the time we reconnected in our 40's, but no. The friendship didn't last long after that.

Not boastful, just tactless.

Anyone with any empathy would not thoughtlessly throw around comments like this if their company was in a different income bracket.

She must be terribly insecure if she has to make herself feel better with constant talk about money. It's a bit sad really.

The other day I was able to buy shoes at £120 and didn't bat an eyelid
who says things like that? It's so cringey. Even to people wearing shoes or boots clearly costing the same or more, it's just bad manners.

So glad I don't have friends like that......next.

My ex friend used to do this. Came from a modest background then met a fella that had a few quid. She changed overnight. Endless posts on social media of stacks of cash, driving fancy rentals, shopping bags. If we met up she’d randomly announce her partners T-shirt cost £350 pound. “We’ve just been shopping and spent a grand”. Hired a fancy car for her sons 1st birthday obviously not for the child’s benefit. I ended the friendship because I could not remember the last time we had a conversation that didn’t revolve around how much money she had spent that week. You wouldn’t think this was the same person that would borrow ten pound here twenty pound there for god knows how many years, which is not a problem at all but the way she went so far up her own arse was dreadful and annoying.

The comments about her boyfriend’s bank balance and having a cleaner I don’t think are boasts. It’s a bit pathetic to be expected to hide the fact you have a cleaner.

The comment about dropping £120 on shoes definitely was though.

I'd assume she doesn't come from a wealthy background and she loves the fact she now has some money and can buy things she thinks give her status, it's cringey but unless you want to end the friendship I would just ignore it and hope she grows out of it.

This thread is full of people saying the things she's boasting about are not particularly impressive and yet they would be beyond the budget of many and her income is above average, you have also mentioned your income is lower but posters seem oblivious to the need for a little tact, I suspect 50% of MN posters live in an alternate universe.

None of those boasts are impressive, and you're taking it far too personally. You sound like you have a chip on your shoulder.

Im sorry ,why are you friends with this person again ? I tend to only have friends that i like and have things in common with ,my guess is she is friends with you because she feels superior to you and shes getting a buzz by making you ,as she thinks ,jealous of her ,thats not what i call a friend .

Money cannot buy class.

Sounds boring to me, more than anything!

She sounds really boring, as though she's trying to make herself look bigger/better.

I'd have called her out by now, by saying something like 'why do you have to turn everything into money, what you earn, what you paid for XYZ?' but I realise that a lot of people aren't comfortable about doing that.

It doesn't sound as though you enjoy the friendship.

FWIW - I don't think you sound like hard work. I think your 'friend' does. A boring braggart with very little to brag about.

Time for new, positive friends who you actually enjoy spending time with.

Some people need to talk about money as it's like they need it instead of having a personality. Then there are others who have lots of money but are very interesting and down to earth and you forget the fact they even have money until you notice they have nice things.

She’s a twat

Oh god I hate when people do this (luckily I only know one who does). I cringe every time he does it because he sounds so insecure and it's a bit embarrassing to think he thinks it sounds impressive.

Nothing worse than a bragger.

She's clearly enjoying relating her financial superiority to you.
This is not what a true friend does.
A true friend will realise that you may not have as much extra funds to spend and, despite her mansion, yacht and swimming pool, would be more than happy to spend an hour, with her friend, in Poundland , to snaffle a few bargains.

That's what friends do.

I’d call her on it. “Helen, you bring money and the cost of things up a lot - why is that?”

Then, I’d resort to just laughing every time, until I got bored enough with it not to bother seeing her any more 🤷🏻‍♀️

The cleaner though... I don’t have one, but know plenty of people from a range of incomes who do. So I wouldn’t automatically put that down to boasting. Depends on context and tone.

She clearly did bat an eyelid or it wouldn't oven have occurred to her to say anything.

*even

Comes across like someone who has grown up with very little. None of those things are much to brag about. Sounds exactly immature and it would be annoying I’m sure.

She sounds awful and insecure. She knows your low waged and is trying to make herself feel better at your expense.

Stop being friends with her.

Yes she is boasting and trying to show off.