@workworkworkugh, I understand that you can feel a little put upon by the posts here. I think the problem is that when we as humans hear of a problem, especially one as hard and as horrible for you as this one, we want to give advice. The advice might be helpful and it might not because who knows a situation unless they're in it. I do think that the majority of people here want to just be a support whether they're offering advice that you find unhelpful or not.
I'm not sure I have advice just a few anecdotes from my own life which I hope will make you feel less alone in this because, honestly, so many people go through something similar.
The first. I went out with an absolutely awful boy/man when I was a teenager. He was a speed addict, a ne'er do well and basically a grade A twat. I didn't see any of that. To me he was wonderful, edgy, the man of my dreams (yes, I was deluded). My mum hated him, obviously, but did nothing. I think she might have done more if I still lived at home but I had moved out a few months previously. I remember that I sort of wanted to bate her with him but she wasn't having any of it. I honestly think that if she had outwardly taken against him to me, we would have been together longer. As it was it didn't take long for me to break up with him. He then came and tried to break down my front door but a neighbour came out, yelled at him and told him she'd call the police. Later he phoned me and told me that if I didn't take him back he'd kill himself. I told him that if he didn't kill himself it wasn't on me. Afterwards mum told me how much she hated him and I was grateful for her ability to just let it happen. N.b. I don't suggest that this is what is right for you. It might be and it might not. Oh, and he didn't kill himself.
The second was far more difficult. My brother was a drug addict and was violent with me a couple of times. The first was a new years eve party in my local pub that my mum pushed me to take him too. He was allowed to stay until closing hours and then had to go home. He didn't want to go home and started punching me because I was "being unfair". The next day my mum blamed me and asked what I'd said/done to make it happen. A couple of years later I was looking after her home while she was on holiday. He came round and I can't remember what happened but he started punching me until I was on the floor and then was kicking me in the stomach. Luckily a neighbour heard the commotion, had seen him arrive and had a key to the flat. She came in and he ran off. I asked her not to tell my mum, she did and then my mum had a go at me for not telling her. She chose him every time, not matter what he did and it hurt a lot. She put up with awful behaviour until in the end, for her own sanity, she had to tell him no more and cut him off. It hurt her a lot and they remained estranged for about a year. I don't know if it would have lasted longer but unfortunately, she died. Again, this is so different to what you're going through but I do know that sometimes the only thing you can do is let go because as much as it hurts and I know it really hurt my mum, it's a hurt that you're in control of rather than the constant drama being put on you that you have no control over.
Whatever you do or don't do, whatever ends up working for you, and I hope so much that something does soon, I am so sorry that you are having to go through this and sending a stranger's love and support to you. x