Who pays?

[Imfinallyhappy1]

Have had my niece (11) for a day at the park. We parked and as it was crowded said to my ds and dn be careful opening car doors please.

Dn and ds acknowledged and then dn Flung open her door and has hit a gorgeous merc beside us.

We were all wtf and she said sorry I didn't think.

There was approx 5 seconds between the warning and her opening the door.

I've left a note for the car owner and taken pictures.

Dn lives with my dsis and my parents. My mum said they will pay but my dad has said he's pissed off and I should pay?

Aibu? If my kids damaged someone's property even if they were with someone else I wouldn't expect them to pay.

Let your two insurance companies deal with it but if I were the girls mum I would insist on paying any excess no question.

''I would pay for my niece but then that's me. Family is family and it was a mistake.''

This, it be a few hundred maybe and just not worth the bad feeling/tension asking for it could bring up. My 14 yo best mate playing with matches cost about 800 quids worth of damage to our house during an accident when we were kids. Yes he was at fault but me and my siblings always hung at their house as kids and retained the friendships into adulthood, our families had been neighbours for decades and so my parents and nothing and paid it.

''Either way I’d never ever take her with you again.''

FGS she is 11, it was a small accident. People on mn lose all perspective with this sort of stuff.

This, it be a few hundred maybe and just not worth the bad feeling/tension asking for it could bring up.

A few hundred is a fortune to the OP. She said so herself. And the sister lives for free with the parents. So she should probably just not take the niece out at all in case she'll be expected to pay up again for these mistakes.

I think it's your responsibility. I don't let my kids open their doors I keep the child lock on. When parked up I open the door and hold it so they don't hit other cars. You cannot trust kids to be careful it just won't happen!

There is no excess on 3rd party claims

Lots of people don't seem to get that.

@Lostinthemail

Either way I’d never ever take her with you again.

Lovely

Your sister should pay, it’s her offspring and you did warn her, you weren’t being reckless with her in your care

If it was my DS I would 100% pay, regardless of who was looking after him when he did it. My child, my responsibility.

You should pay. She was with you.

I would think that ideally it would be you as she was in your care at the time but I also think your sister would offer to pay out of decency. Maybe you and your sister could go halfers.

I'd be hurt if no one offered to at least chip in. I'd probably claim on the insurance but yeah as much as the idea was shot down I'd be reluctant to invite her out again too. Not as punishment to the dn, but because you know no one will have any sympathy if it leaves you out of pocket.

No way. If it is my kid, I pay. I cannot believe people are saying you should pay.

Maybe i’ve watched too much Judge Judy, but ive seen enough to know that she always rules that the person in charge of the minor should take total responsibility for anything done during the period of time they have them.

@BornIn78

Your sister should be paying... not you and not the child’s grandparents

Absolutely this.

@thatwasme22

''I would pay for my niece but then that's me. Family is family and it was a mistake.''

This, it be a few hundred maybe and just not worth the bad feeling/tension asking for it could bring up. My 14 yo best mate playing with matches cost about 800 quids worth of damage to our house during an accident when we were kids. Yes he was at fault but me and my siblings always hung at their house as kids and retained the friendships into adulthood, our families had been neighbours for decades and so my parents and nothing and paid it.

Strange how ‘family is family’ doesn’t apply on the sister’s side She has stated that they wouldn’t extend the same courtesy to her and can afford it easily while she can’t ... is family letting someone else suffer ?

I don't think you should pay at all. It's her parents problem. Get them to pay.

OP are you saying DN deliberately threw the door open after you told both kids to be careful? In which case she needs to the consequences of her stupid act of defiance and should be made to contribute to the cost of repairing the other car or lose some privileges, etc.

I have had people dent my car and dh’s car. We have never had any sort of note or apology left. We have had to cover dent repairs ourselves. It’s a pita.
Twice we have actually been not too far away to actually see them do it. Not children either.

YABU for being a thoughtful person. It’s unusually quaint.

I wouldn’t expect a child to be responsible for opening a door too abruptly though. Was there any damage? If it were me, I’d let you off just for your honesty.

@Purplecatshopaholic

Why on earth should you pay? Or have your premiums increase because your Insurance pays? She’s 11 - old enough to acknowledge her mistake, and to take responsibility for it

And how do you propose an 11 covers the cost? Even if you take it out of future presents, someone still needs to pay unless he's up for repayment of £2 a week !

No you shouldn't pay. Wait for the owner to contact you. Your sister should pay. Personally, if it were me I'd tell you not to worry, but then again my car is completely scratched and dinked on every panel by people that didn't leave notes. That's on-street parking for you.

Just let your parents pay and don’t let your dad guilt you. Morally your sister should pay.

Are they all really that thick they can’t see what a financial disadvantage you have by not living at the family home? I’d use a stuck record with your dad. “I understand dad. I would be able to afford to pay for the damage if I still lived with you dad.”

In my family I would offer to pay for DN but my sister would absolutely not let me. What's more at age 11 my sister would definitely be docking pocket money from DN for that sort of carelessness when she had just been warned!!

@Christmasfairy2020

I'd have drove of

Charming.

It was an accident.

Stick it through the insurance and suck up any excess. A couple of hundred pounds is not worth falling out over.