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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour lifted up my fence?!

112 replies

Fizzystrawberrybelt · 18/04/2021 10:38

Hi everyone.

So last night my neighbours had some people round in their back garden, playing music, drinking and just genuinely being loud.
I was in my kitchen finishing up dinner, and saw something in my back garden. A man (who I didn’t know) had darted across my garden, grabbed a ball (not mine) and then gone back into next doors garden. They’d lifted up the fence between both gardens to let themselves in... WTF?!
I didn’t say anything at the time as they’d all been drinking, and the neighbours are quite rough as it is, so any conversation I would have had at that point would have escalated and I was home alone with DD9.
I’ve woken up today and I’m still really pissed off about it. I can understand wanting a ball back, but why not knock my door/send me a message instead? I feel like it’s a total invasion of privacy, if my DD had been in the garden at the time she would have been terrified.
Should I say something to the mum? Or am I being precious and overreacting?
Now I’m worried that if I go out anywhere they could let themselves into my garden whenever they feel like it!
I wrote out a message last night of what I wanted to say and slept on it until today just to make sure that I didn’t say anything in anger etc but unsure if I should send it, or let it drop.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 18/04/2021 10:42

Do the fence panels just lift up then?
How late was it? Maybe they didn't want to disturb you for the ball

Whereisthewarmth · 18/04/2021 10:44

Approach it in humour nice way...

Jokey.. But then say seriously.. However if dd there etc wouid have scared her please knock next time.

Stonerosie67 · 18/04/2021 10:44

I can't see a problem, in this instance, tbh. I think I'd definitely think wtf, but then I'd think, well that sorted the problem of getting the ball back with minimum inconvenience to you.
It wasn't as if they just fancied traipsing across your garden for no reason, they went to get a ball back.

Sparklingbrook · 18/04/2021 10:45

I wouldn’t be too worried. I guess it was the quickest way of getting the ball back without bothering you. You say ‘darted’ so he wasn’t hanging about in your garden.
Its cheeky yes but if they were having a few drinks it probably seemed fine.

Dizzy1234 · 18/04/2021 10:47

Are they panels that slide up that sit on a concrete base?
If so you can buy wedges that stop anyone lifting them out, I'd buy some and that will stop them doing it.
It sounds like someone has got a bit brave through alcohol, probably egged on too.
I wouldn't say anything, sometimes it's just not worth it, I'd just ensure they couldn't get in again.

Original poster
Fizzystrawberrybelt · 18/04/2021 10:48

They’re the type that slot into concrete posts at either side of the fence panel, if that makes sense? So they shouldn’t be lifted up, but they can be.
It was only around 6:30/7pm too.

I’m debating trying to knock some nails into the bottom of the fence posts and the concrete base board to try and secure it so they can’t do it again Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
Fizzystrawberrybelt · 18/04/2021 10:50

Ahh thanks all, I can see that I’ve most likely overreacted to it! I think I’m a bit biased as I dislike the neighbours, so good to have some non biased opinions!

I’ll look into those wedges, thanks @Dizzy1234

OP posts:
Stonerosie67 · 18/04/2021 10:51

I’m debating trying to knock some nails into the bottom of the fence posts and the concrete base board to try and secure it so they can’t do it again

You're making way too much out of this!

SarahBellam · 18/04/2021 10:51

I’d prefer this to getting a knock on the door every time a ball went over the fence. Presumably if your daughter was in the garden they’d have asked her to throw it back.

Bluntness100 · 18/04/2021 10:53

I’m glad you’ve seen sense, popping over to get a ball and not disturbing you is better than knocking on the door when you’ve a child. There may be other issues, but for me, this wouldn’t be one. I’d much rather the neighbours got their own ball than message me to come get it.

Gothichouse40 · 18/04/2021 10:53

Since they were only retrieving a ball, I don't think that would bother me. If you get on with the neighbours, Id possibly just leave it.

Bluntness100 · 18/04/2021 10:54

Honestly I’d not be nailing down the fence, you’re acting like the lifted it, came in, shagged on your lawn, then defecated on the patio.

enjoysun · 18/04/2021 10:55

I'd worry that they had, or could damage the fence irreparably. I'd look at measures to secure it further. It's probably partly your fault that the fence can be moved in that way.
Whilst probably no harm done, I wouldn't tackle the neighbours in this occasion, but take steps to ensure it can't happen again

CarmelBeach · 18/04/2021 10:56

I would talk to them and say it's not on.

Tell them to get a spare ball.

TulipSandwiches · 18/04/2021 10:57

It was probably an impulse decision of one of the guests to get the ball back in the fastest way possible. He probably looked over the fence before he did it. If there had been someone in the garden presumably he'd have asked them to throw the ball back.

I've wedged my fence panels in with ordinary door wedges.

PegasusReturns · 18/04/2021 10:59

I don’t think you’re overreacting.

I’d find it pretty unnerving to see someone unexpectedly in my garden, I’m surprised people are so relaxed about it.

Bluntness100 · 18/04/2021 11:03

I’m not surprised some folks are so nervous about this. Some people don’t answer their doors when someone knocks, so being all scared someone popped into get a ball or being over anxious the fence is damaged is not a leap away from that.

For most though no one would care and would prefer the ball to be retrieved than them to be bothered to habe to go get it.

Original poster
Fizzystrawberrybelt · 18/04/2021 11:03

The boyfriend installed the fence after they moved in (I paid half to make sure it was fair) the previous one was only about 3ft and neither of us had any privacy.

Possibly a slight drip feed (or completely irrelevant) but the neighbours often take drugs (weed and coke), and have had drug dealers at the door plenty of times asking for money owed, can always hear the dad screaming at the mum and children calling them dickheads, cunts, bitch etc
The kids are always looking into my garden when I’m there (they have a trampoline) and stare and me and DD, and mimic our conversations Confused
So they’re not very nice neighbours at all, and I think this is just the tipping point for me. I can ignore them as much as possible but the fact that they’ve been cheeky enough to come into my garden has pissed me off.
I won’t be saying anything, but I’ve ordered some of the wedges now so hopefully it won’t happen again.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fizzystrawberrybelt · 18/04/2021 11:04

@Bluntness100 you have cheered me up with that 😂

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 18/04/2021 11:11

Please do not waste a lovely sunny Sunday trying to hammer nails into concrete. Wine

PegasusReturns · 18/04/2021 11:20

Some people don’t answer their doors when someone knocks, so being all scared someone popped into get a ball or being over anxious the fence is damaged is not a leap away from that

Really?! You think being unnerved that someone whose intention is unknown being unexpectedly in your back garden is on a par with being afraid to answer your front door?

Where I live strangers don’t routinely hop over fences/walls and if I saw a stranger in my garden I wouldn’t assume harmless intent.

Deereamer · 18/04/2021 11:21

Cheeky fuckers - I’d go down a different route with this. Text them something along the lines of “hiya, hope you’re ok? I just wanted to let you know that there was an intruder in my back garden last night - I looked out and saw someone moving around in the dark. I’ve reported this to the police but just wanted to let you know so you can make sure your doors and windows are locked”

SappysCurry · 18/04/2021 11:24

Would annoy me too, Could you put some planted up large heavy pots in front of the fence

Somanysocks · 18/04/2021 11:25

Of course you are not being unreasonable, or precious. It is trespass.

Get some of these

Neighbour lifted up my fence?!
Sparklingbrook · 18/04/2021 11:27

Really?! You think being unnerved that someone whose intention is unknown being unexpectedly in your back garden is on a par with being afraid to answer your front door?

Intention=quickly get the ball back. Not unknown.