Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Neighbour lifted up my fence?!

112 replies

Fizzystrawberrybelt · 18/04/2021 10:38

Hi everyone.

So last night my neighbours had some people round in their back garden, playing music, drinking and just genuinely being loud.
I was in my kitchen finishing up dinner, and saw something in my back garden. A man (who I didn’t know) had darted across my garden, grabbed a ball (not mine) and then gone back into next doors garden. They’d lifted up the fence between both gardens to let themselves in... WTF?!
I didn’t say anything at the time as they’d all been drinking, and the neighbours are quite rough as it is, so any conversation I would have had at that point would have escalated and I was home alone with DD9.
I’ve woken up today and I’m still really pissed off about it. I can understand wanting a ball back, but why not knock my door/send me a message instead? I feel like it’s a total invasion of privacy, if my DD had been in the garden at the time she would have been terrified.
Should I say something to the mum? Or am I being precious and overreacting?
Now I’m worried that if I go out anywhere they could let themselves into my garden whenever they feel like it!
I wrote out a message last night of what I wanted to say and slept on it until today just to make sure that I didn’t say anything in anger etc but unsure if I should send it, or let it drop.

OP posts:

JudgeJ · 18/04/2021 12:29

@Stonerosie67

I’m debating trying to knock some nails into the bottom of the fence posts and the concrete base board to try and secure it so they can’t do it again

You're making way too much out of this!

You risk damaging the barge boards, the concrete bits at the bottom, if you nail them. Wedges hammered in at the top between the panel and post would be better, I had to do this with a couple as they were loose and rattled in the wind.

PegasusReturns · 18/04/2021 12:30

I think it happened so quickly, no 'ooh I wonder what he's doing darting across the garden?' involved. He had the ball and he was off.

Well I suppose we could have a discussion about how long the OPs garden is; when she first saw the ball; what were her immediate thoughts etc

but my point is if the intentions were “unknown” it would be unnerving. I defo wouldn’t be relaxed about it.

mrshonda · 18/04/2021 12:33

Plant pyracantha on your side of the fence (it will also grow in very large pots) - evergreen, seasonal red or orange berries, quick growing and extremely prickly with sharp thorns! It's one of the plants recommended to deter burglars from climbing walls and fences.

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 18/04/2021 12:34

I'm surprised people are taking it so casually and would be perfectly happy for someone to remove the fence and come in and out of their garden as they please.

It wasn't as if they just fancied traipsing across your garden for no reason, they went to get a ball back.

That ball should not have been in OP's garden in first place.

Secure the fence, absolutely.

Sparklingbrook · 18/04/2021 12:38

@PegasusReturns

I think it happened so quickly, no 'ooh I wonder what he's doing darting across the garden?' involved. He had the ball and he was off.

Well I suppose we could have a discussion about how long the OPs garden is; when she first saw the ball; what were her immediate thoughts etc

but my point is if the intentions were “unknown” it would be unnerving. I defo wouldn’t be relaxed about it.

If he was darting about the garden for no reason, knocking the heads off the flowers/trampling the borders, doing it for a laugh, then yes I could see how that would be unnerving.

Sparklingbrook · 18/04/2021 12:39

That ball should not have been in OP's garden in first place.

That's a whole other thread.

coogee · 18/04/2021 12:46

That ball should not have been in OP's garden in first place

Some of us have to live in the real world.

Somanysocks · 18/04/2021 13:04

Interesting that on another thread the general consensus was that people shouldn't walk through a field unless there's a public footpath on it, because it's trespass.

Sparklingbrook · 18/04/2021 13:05

@Somanysocks

Interesting that on another thread the general consensus was that people shouldn't walk through a field unless there's a public footpath on it, because it's trespass.

You might dart onto it to get your ball back though.

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 18/04/2021 13:13

Some of us have to live in the real world.

Well, there are two rather large dogs in my world. Any ball that comes into my garden is fair game.

If we flip that though, is it OK for my dogs to go in and out people's gardens? I think not, and won't let them, but if you think it's OK to dart in and out of someone's garde , then I might reconsider.

Somanysocks · 18/04/2021 13:16

@Sparklingbrook you clearly play a lot of ballgames.

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 18/04/2021 13:16

Or, let's think of a more comparable situation.

I throw a ball for my dogs, it lands in my neighbour garden, I lift the panel up so dog can go and fetch it. It that OK? No, it's not.

So why is it acceptable for a drunk person to do that?

Deux · 18/04/2021 13:25

A few years ago, a burglar died when a fence panel fell on his neck. Just saying.

Sparklingbrook · 18/04/2021 13:28

[quote Somanysocks]@Sparklingbrook you clearly play a lot of ballgames.[/quote]
Not so much now sadly. Two DSs growing up though.

Sparklingbrook · 18/04/2021 13:30

@ChardonnaysPetDragon

Or, let's think of a more comparable situation.

I throw a ball for my dogs, it lands in my neighbour garden, I lift the panel up so dog can go and fetch it. It that OK? No, it's not.

So why is it acceptable for a drunk person to do that?

Drunk person and dog. Not really comparable. I would rather have a drunk person in my garden if I had to choose though.

ExJasper · 18/04/2021 13:31

I think you should wait a few days before fitting the wedges, and then send a message saying something like "just to let you know, the fences rattling in the wind were driving me mad so I've put wedges in".

Hopefully they won't associate you fixing the wedges with the darting man so you will have solved your problem without pissing them off. I completely agree that you shouldn't have to resort to subterfuge, but having had my share of dodgy neighbours, if you can sort a problem without rubbing them up the wrong way then that's a good thing.

serin · 18/04/2021 14:55

Your neighbours sound awful but as they just quickly darted through your garden it does show some awareness on their part that they shouldn't be there.
I would let this go, purely because they sound like the sort of arses who will make your life difficult forever more, and also because I don't think they will be doing it on a regular basis.
I hope they move soon.

Divineswirls · 18/04/2021 15:03

Sounds like they've done this before.

Also everyone owns one side of their garden left or right I forget which and they should pay that side themselves so not sure why you paid half. Unless your fence is on your side of a boundary like mine so it doesn't matter

I'd be securing those panels with something simple like a nailed on plank of wood pretty sharpish or whatever's suitable

UnbeatenMum · 18/04/2021 15:10

We have those fences. My neighbour and I text or send a child to knock if a ball goes over, or just wait for them to see it and chuck it back. I would be horrified if they just let their son into my garden as would they. It seems extremely rude and an invasion of your right to privacy.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 18/04/2021 15:31

I’m debating trying to knock some nails into the bottom of the fence posts and the concrete base board to try and secure it so they can’t do it again

You're making way too much out of this!

No, she isn't. It's perfectly reasonable to object to someone disturbing your property fence in order to stampede over your garden without asking.

I'd secure the fence OP and plant some nice thorny bushes - roses or gorse - beside it. Gorse in particular should keep the CF trespassers out.

YANBU.

JustSleepAlready · 18/04/2021 15:41

Nail them down.

MakingPlans21 · 18/04/2021 15:43

I’d be cross too. Nail your fence down.

FrankensteinIsTheMonster · 18/04/2021 15:54

Bit surprised by the general acceptance here that it's totally fine to have people darting and popping wherever they fancy and you're being uptight to object

Sparklingbrook · 18/04/2021 15:58

darting and popping. Was there popping too?

It sounds like a one off ball retrieval event to me, and I haven't said the OP is uptight. As with all things do what you need to. The neighbours don't sound great admittedly but no idea how much of a risk they pose generally.

Starborn · 18/04/2021 16:12

I'd say nothing, but nail the fence down in a couple of weeks' time so it doesn't look like you've done it to make a point.

I'd rather bite my tongue about a random person retrieving a ball than have a bad relationship with rough neighbours.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread