Neighbour lifted up my fence?!

[Fizzystrawberrybelt]

Hi everyone.

So last night my neighbours had some people round in their back garden, playing music, drinking and just genuinely being loud.
I was in my kitchen finishing up dinner, and saw something in my back garden. A man (who I didn’t know) had darted across my garden, grabbed a ball (not mine) and then gone back into next doors garden. They’d lifted up the fence between both gardens to let themselves in... WTF?!
I didn’t say anything at the time as they’d all been drinking, and the neighbours are quite rough as it is, so any conversation I would have had at that point would have escalated and I was home alone with DD9.
I’ve woken up today and I’m still really pissed off about it. I can understand wanting a ball back, but why not knock my door/send me a message instead? I feel like it’s a total invasion of privacy, if my DD had been in the garden at the time she would have been terrified.
Should I say something to the mum? Or am I being precious and overreacting?
Now I’m worried that if I go out anywhere they could let themselves into my garden whenever they feel like it!
I wrote out a message last night of what I wanted to say and slept on it until today just to make sure that I didn’t say anything in anger etc but unsure if I should send it, or let it drop.

Not much the OP can sensibly do other than secure the fence and try to do so in a way that doesn't rile what sound to be volatile and unpleasant neighbours. But it's odd to me to see someone use language like "pop" (as a poster did on p.1) to downplay people dismantling fences to enter her property without her permission.

A neighbour's son in law climbed over my fence once and I really gave him a bollocking and said what a bad example he had shown to his own children that it was acceptable to trespass on someone else's property. Since then, they have meekly knocked on the door and asked for their ball but, if it comes over more than twice in a day, I say they will have to wait until I feel like giving it back so they don't bother coming round more than twice now. Likewise, I would only let my own children ask for a ball to be returned twice. Problem solved.

Can’t get over how so many folks object to a neighbour nipping over to retrieve a ball, some folks are writing like it’s a heinous crime

At least you’re not alone op.

I would not be happy about this!

You don't go In someone else's garden without permission and you don't remove fence panels.

Im sat here wondering how it is possible to lift up a fence panel, bizarre

@FrankensteinIsTheMonster

Not much the OP can sensibly do other than secure the fence and try to do so in a way that doesn't rile what sound to be volatile and unpleasant neighbours. But it's odd to me to see someone use language like "pop" (as a poster did on p.1) to downplay people dismantling fences to enter her property without her permission.

They didn’t Dismantle it, they lifted it and “ darted” using rhe ops words , hence the “ pop” from the pp

You’re writing like they were,out there with a saw and drill then loitered ,they lifted the panel,ran over grabbed the ball and ran back

Some people are becoming hysterical. The op after she follows this advice will now have the joy of her druggie neighbours at her door wanting their ball back.

There some social interaction for her to look forward to..oh no wait. She should never answer her door.

Dismantling implies use of power tools? :-/

A fence isn't a door, it's a semipermanent structure. Lifting a panel to get through is a very obvious breach of an intended firm boundary.

No hysteria here, just an understanding that you can hardly call it "popping" when it involves taking fences apart 😂

He lifted the fence panel. What part of that says he dismantled it ans took it apart.

Calm yourself down

Perfectly calm thanks.

A part of a fence which is intended to be moved aside for purposes of casual access is called a gate. If OP had wanted there to be a gate, I'm sure one could've been installed.

Berberis Darwinii?

www.rhs.org.uk/Plants/2105/Berberis-darwinii/Details

If they fitted the fence, even though you paid half for it, I’d find out whose fence it actually is before you start messing with it. Can’t say I’d be too perturbed by a one off lifting of a board to retrieve a ball. Unless you are particularly nervy people I doubt very much your daughter would be terrified by it. A bit bemused or surprised may be but terrified? You’re over-reacting.

So the fence between both gardens is similar to this picture (off google, not the fence in question). It’s a big 6 foot one so not a little diddy thing. They lifted the entire fence panel up and ducked under it to get into my garden...

I’m surprised at how many people wouldn’t be bothered by this, but I’m glad to hear different opinions to help gauge how extreme my reaction was.

And yes, if my daughter was in the back garden and some random grown man off his face on booze and drugs lifted the fence up and came into her safe space, she’d be terrified.

You're massively overreacting OP. They came into your garden to retrieve a ball. It isn't the end of the world

I’d much rather they knock the door and let me know they need their ball back, than them enter my garden and help themselves. I think it’s really bloody rude of them and they have no right whatsoever to enter my property, the same way I have no right in entering theirs

I'm assuming people who aren't concerned by someone coming into their garden unannounced, get on really well with their neighbours/don't have a dog. Our dog would go loopy if he saw someone in our garden, and possibly also escape through the gap in the fence.

And yes, if my daughter was in the back garden and some random grown man off his face on booze and drugs lifted the fence up and came into her safe space, she’d be terrified.

I, and others have raised this point already, would she not be able to throw the ball back over?

I wish I’d put voting on now! Seems like the majority of posters think I’m BU here, so I’ll take that on the chin and chill out a bit

I would be really annoyed if someone did this to us. I have flower beds all round our garden so plants would have been damaged.

I'd just put motion sensored water sprinklers on my lawn as you know they're going to entertain a lot over the summer.

Also plant black bamboo either in pots or directly into the soil. They grow really tall quickly and will provide perfect screening from next door.

I wouldn't bother talking to them as you'll get a load of abuse. Definitely put motion sensored security lights as well so they'll turn on automatically.

@rainbowthoughts I was in the kitchen when it happened, and I didn’t hear them shout over anything like “hello, anyone there” etc. So it seems like they didn’t know if the garden was empty or not, as they didn’t ask, they just came in. DD could have been sitting there quietly reading or playing on her iPad, and they wouldn’t have known, because they didn’t shout over first.

Unlikely? Yes. Impossible? Not at all.

I don't give a crap whatever the reason is, its my property and you'll need to ask for permission to come into my garden if your not invited.

Just secure the fence and dont say anything.

Is this really likely to happen again? Sounds like a one off event to me.

Of course you're not BU.

I don't know anyone in real life that would be happy with neighbours lifting a fence panel and coming into their garden.

I’m hoping it’s just a one off. With the warmer weather starting up the children will be in the garden more so there’s a chance a ball will come over again. But I’ll be adding on the security wedge things to the fence as soon as they’re delivered so chances are they won’t be able to let themselves in even if they wanted to. Just to add, any ball that comes over will of course be returned to them

When we moved in here, our ds was small. Neighbours ds was about 9 or 10 and football mad, so balls were coming over the fence on a regular basis because, you know, kids are kids and kick harder than they realise.
I told neighbour to just either climb over the fence or lift the boy over to retrieve it, because I certainly couldn't be arsed answering the door all the time to him.
(And before anyone says different, my garden is really well cared for, it's one of my hobbies)
And i am so glad i did, because as my ds grew up, he too hoyed footballs over the fence accidentally and the neighbours reciprocated.
Because we're normal people who just want to get along with each other, without any drama.
I realise this is slightly different from a grown man lifting up the panel and nipping through, but all he did was retrieve his ball.
As your kids grow up you don't know what they will sling over the fence.
Neighbourly relations count for a lot.