Neighbour’s mysterious notepad...

[JensonsAcolyte]

The neighbours to the side of us are a retired couple. Pleasant enough to speak to, but a bit on the nosy side.

Their house is immaculate, not a weed on the drive, front lawn and hedges always trimmed. Ours, erm, isn’t. Same for the back, which they can see from their windows. He has commented.

He always puts everyone’s bins back, pretty sure this is not a neighbourly kind gesture, they are collected from opposite his house.

Over the road have caught him chucking cat poo on to my front garden from his (we do have a cat but so do most houses).

Neither of them can walk past my house without craning their necks to look in the garden/windows.

Whenever we have work done he is straight round to find out the details.

Anyway, recently I’ve noticed that he has taken to walking around with a notebook and pencil. We went for a bbq over the road last night and he was out there taking notes on his driveway.

I would so love to know what he’s taking notes on! It’s obviously a shitlist of some sort, or possibly a Covid Police logbook.

AIBU to ask him next time I see it? DH says I need to leave it but enquiring minds must know.

Ah we’re not that bad.

No garden karaoke or hot tub swinging sessions.

Just kids playing in the garden.

He wants you to know he's watching, the notebook is to draw attention to what he is doing-its a control issue.

Just ignore him. Completely ignore.

I suspect he's taken down details as a log for the council. It's often suggested when people are having difficulties with neighbours that they log everything down. He's probably complained about you and/or other neighbours before and been told to keep a diary of what happens and when. Absolutely fuck all will happen from it so ignore him and let him crack on!

@JensonsAcolyte

Omg I think your neighbour is my neighbours long lost twin!

Retired;immaculate everything;mows his lawn daily;watches us constantly in our back garden/front garden/tries to look through our back door/living room windows.

We've caught them lobbing cat poop into our garden.

They pretty much watch us/friends/family/deliveries coming and going,they even watch us taking the bin in and out.

They have complained incessantly about the state of our garden for years and a few weeks ago we got it landscaped after saving for a long time to get it done and now we're being ignored because we had the audacity to get our garden done professionally.

They openly dislike/complain about our cat/dogs/kids/us having any sort of life and do passive aggressive stuff like fire up their bbq for lunch for just the two of them when I have a line full of washing and the bloke uses an accelerant on it that absolutely reeks.

We have a local neighbourhood committee that acts as mediators between neighbour's on disputes:you have to submit your complaint in a letter and next door have been told to stop complaining about their neighbours as they were submitted weekly letters with a list of complaints 🙄

Years ago, my parents had a nosey neighbour, always asking my dad what he was doing in the garden, telling him what he should be doing. My dad got a clipboard, pencil and measuring tape, and walked around the garden, measuring out areas, taking notes, using a ruler to draw fake diagrams, while the neighbour watched. My dad ignored his questions.

Just remembered another one about my old neighbours. The day DH & I moved in they knocked at the door. I thought it was nice that they were knocking to welcome us.
I opened the door and he said, "We saw you had just moved in. Are you married?"

Dig a coffin shaped hole in the garden. When he asks what its for tell him its where you bury nosy neighbours!

Definitely so.ething recomendedcto people with early symptoms of dementia. As soon as it pops in your head, write it down. It is useful but can become distressing in itself.

*I like the idea of my own notebook.

Bigger and brighter.

A2 sized at least*

Get a massive flip chart. On an easel. Position it in the front garden.

And get one of those massive furry microphones and pretend you're permanently doing an outside broadcast

Anyone who comments on our lack of getting jobs done outside is told they’re very welcome to do them on our behalf. They never comment again.

It's not worth aggravating him. Just ignore.

Put in a GDPR data request

if you ask about his notebook, you are being a nosy neighbour - the same as him. It would drive me insane to live next to people like that. The best way to handle this behaviour is to completely ignore the nosiness and always be civil. If they question you about your home/garden, reply with "that's the way we live". How you live your life in your own home is nobody else's business, unless it impinges on the "quiet enjoyment" of their home.

@buckleten

Even better than a notebook, get a clipboard!!

And a high vis jacket and pretend to make phone calls as you walk up and down.

None of the above, you just need to rise above it and unless he's actually on your property he hasn't done anything wrong. It's a bit weird but ignore it and let him be.

We have a clipboard, I rescued it when it was being chucked out from work years ago. It has the words CONTROL CENTRE in block caps hand written on it.

I bloody love that clipboard. It makes me smile every time. It makes you feel good and organised - even if you're just doing a shopping list or whatever. I feel like a general marshalling troops. It gives one a pleasant feeling of command over any scenario.

I think you need one too OP.

Our neighbours opposite used to have leaf wars where they swept leaves onto each other's perfectly manicured lawns and then the other one would rush out and sweep them back! Long story short, it ended with one of them going completely bonkers and driving his car onto the neighbour's rockery in their front garden!

Leave him too it, surely you have more important things than bothering about them bothering about you. Personally I would just let it go over my head.

You need a karaoke machine and a play list

Bohemian rhapsody , pretty fly for a white guy, time warp etc

I'd also be tempted to tape a body outline on the grass with some ketchup.

He's playing mind games. Hence the ostentatious notesl taking & no attempt to hide it. It's slightly unhinged, so I'd be wary, ignore & don't engage: or it'll escalate before you know it.

Gawd. He sounds an awful lot like one of our neighbours. Uses the bins as an excuse to have a good old nosy, loves to peer in the boot of my car every time he just happens to be passing, walks along the fence line peering over and magically appears whenever something happens on the street (deliveries, neighbours chatting etc).
I once left a message on an A2 piece of paper in the boot of my car that read “I find your level of interest disturbing”.
This was after catching him looking over the fence at the area my children had a pool set up and having cross words with him.
His response to my request for privacy on that occasion was “Why? Are you nudists or something?” 😳

Buy a notebook.

When you see him taking notes, go outside and write something - very obviously - in YOUR notebook. Look at your watch. Make a not e of the time. Ask him the date. Write it down. SNAP your book shut and smile in a self-satisfied manner.

AND

When he and his wife look in your window - flash your charlies!

I feel for you OP. It’s reasons like this I’m so relieved that we have decent neighbours on both sides (and they don’t even have kids).

I agree with most on here. I’d try and play them at their own game and I’d also chuck the cat poo back onto their lawn (on the condition you know it wasn’t caused by your cat). Then when he comes bouldering out you can tell him it’s not your bloody cat’s and instead of being a passive aggressive weasel by chucking it onto your lawn, he could chuck it into his bin instead.

I never understand people like that living in close proximity to others. Move out to the country and fence yourself off from the world. But, that being said, I doubt anyone in the countryside would want him either. He’d probably be out writing to individual farmers complaining that their cows mooed too early in the morning and the tractor woke him up at 7.02am.

When you say retired what age?

My partners dad is in his late 70s he’s become a nightmare. Complete busy body and knows everyone’s business.

Clearly bored! I really wouldn’t let it bother you, ignore, it’s probably the only highlight of his day.

My partners dad took photos of a neighbours van parked outside and wrote to the council to say it’s an eyesore..... I mean... you just gotta laugh.