To despair of new neighbours' shrieking children?

[saraclara]

It's been a glorious afternoon, but I've had to spend it indoors, and even with my doors closed I can hear them. I don't know how they can shriek for this long without having really sore throats. It's not ordinary play shouting, it's just pointless daft shrieking as far as I can tell. They've been out there for at least four hours. There was a break for about 20 minutes, then it started up again. I'm guessing from the tone of the shrieks that they're about 7-9 years old?

There's nothing I can do about it, is there? This is it for the spring and summer.

I could weep.

Lets face it, kids are noisy little monsters. I recommend ear plugs and loud music.

Our neighour's four kids screech non-stop. They frequently have friends over which makes it even worse.

Last summer the parents decided to let them play outdoors with some kind of boombox playing loud distorted voice-type noise. The neighbour on the other side asked the kids very nicely to please turn it down. The kids went quiet and disappeared into the house.

Two minutes later the mother came out screaming that the neighbour dared to shout at the kids (he hadn't but had to raise his voice and wave his hands to get their attention it was that loud). The neighbour tried explaining he hadn't shouted and that he's just asked them to turn the 'music' down.

That evening the whole village is buzzing about our paedophile neighbour as lazy idiot parent had put it on FB that her neighbour had been staring creepily at the kids and offering them sweets.

I'd been out in the garden and heard the whole exchange so when the police arrived I explained exactly what happened.

This could have gone so badly for my complaining neighbour had we not heard the exchange as the police were ready to take it further. All because of lazy parenting and a dangerous abuse of FB.

Sweet Jesus

Pretty much my kids, the more I tell them off the funnier they think their noises are and the louder they get.
I put them in the garden to give my ears a break. They are so loud.
You aren’t being unreasonable I feel sorry for my neighbours

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

would you rather they be indoors glued to the tv? % um, yes, I definitely would prefer that

God how sad.

Oh fir heaven’s sake! Why should the OP not be allowed to enjoy her garden? And yes, some children literally scream. It’s not calling out, singing or even squeals of excitement. There were two such children in Sainsbury’s one evening after school. They could be heard throughout the store and customers were exchanging horrified looks. God knows how they kept it up for so long. Mother ignored them. Very few people mind the sound of children playing on a sunny afternoon but screaming is something else.

agentnully

We're there any consequences for the lying parent? That is really shocking behaviour.

I ran into a friend recently. She had neighbours with 2 children for years who played out constantly and it was fine. New neighbours with 2 children who were slightly younger than the ones moving out came to live there. She says the noise is unbearable.
She has 5 GC and she said when they are all there they are quieter.
She said no one ever tells them it’s too noisy. We all live in the community including them. It’s not unreasonable they should be told the neighbours don’t want to listen to screaming all day. Children don’t just get free reign for being kids.

This sounds like my idea of hell, not sure though unfortunately what you can really do. You could mention it to said neighbour if you feel confident to, but I can guess what their answer will be.

@lilyblue5

Pretty much my kids, the more I tell them off the funnier they think their noises are and the louder they get. I put them in the garden to give my ears a break. They are so loud. You aren’t being unreasonable I feel sorry for my neighbours

Maybe you should deal with your children, rather than foisting the noise onto your neighbours.

Apologies if you are my neighbour! My 7 year old has Tourette's and shrieks. It's not nice, not for him, not for us, not for anyone. It's ear piercing and goes through walls. He makes other noises too. When he doesn't tic, he can hold a pleasant conversation. He loves being in the garden, but he is never out there more than a couple of hours. The shrieks aren't constant, but can be frequent. We don't let him out early and he is always in by 6pm. He needs to play like any other child and being outside makes him happy. This afternoon I got him inside at 5pm after 20min of shrieks (he was out for much longer, but much more quiet before). We hope this tic will pass soon, but who knows?

That sounds hard, Miralice, but you need to remember that somebody is your neighbour.

20 minutes of shrieking is a long time.

@FOJN

agentnully

We're there any consequences for the lying parent? That is really shocking behaviour.

The officer asked them to apologise to the neighbour and she had to take the post down.

She took the post down, refused to apologise, officer said there was nothing they could do.

Now she's a nightmare to both of us. I try to ignore but am dreading this summer.

@Pottedpalm unfortunately too young at the moment. The oldest is the only one who understands. Thankfully when I have spoken to/apologised to the neighbours they apparently enjoy the sound of children playing

I had this day in and day out from the 4 kids next door for 5 years. I lived in an idyllic cottage on the south downs that had been just perfect and in the end just moved to Somerset. I couldn't take any more.
Their parents were pigs and they should have been sent to live on the moon.
I'd lived there for 15 years before they came and they ruined the quiet road for everybody.

Totally sympathise. This is my life ALL summer. I actually look forward to it getting dark and cold so they're not out as much.
I live in a gf flat with only communal gardens and it doesn't ever occur to the parents that maybe they could take their kids for a walk...or the swings or just anywhere away from my French windows.

Our ndn's kids are exactly like this too. It used to really wind me up but recently their dad has left and mum has a new partner and they are always out doing activities so it doesn't happen very often.

[quote lilyblue5]@Pottedpalm unfortunately too young at the moment. The oldest is the only one who understands. Thankfully when I have spoken to/apologised to the neighbours they apparently enjoy the sound of children playing [/quote]
They're being polite, lilyblue . More polite than I could manage...

I think it’s unreasonable for you to assume there’s no learning difficulties l/condition like adhd or autism
Autism is vastly different for each individual and some are extremely articulate but will still have sensory needs. My son can communicate very well but he is a shrieker and loves to be very vocal, he will have random out bursts and sometimes he is very high pitched and it is not easy to stop him.
Luckily my neighbours are amazing and they know how I hard I work looking after my children and they are from teaching backgrounds so also understand how tricky it can be to manage challenging behaviour.

Totally agree with you OP. We’re surrounded by families and I really don’t mind hearing the children playing, I like hearing them laughing and having fun. What I don’t like is the family next door who allow their two children to scream, shriek and yell from first thing to last thing on a sunny day. Their parenting style appears to be never being allowed to tell the children not to do anything. I heard the father once tell them to stop it and the mother went crazy at him saying he wasn’t allowed to talk to them like that 🙄. These children make it a pretty unpleasant experience to sit in the garden. Drive me crazy. When my children were that age they would be told to stop shrieking/ fighting and if they didn’t they’d be taken inside.
The mother of these children seems to think that singing loudly at them whilst they fight is the best way to deal with it, so you get screaming accompanied by off key warbling of nursery rhymes. A bit of consideration from everyone would be very welcome,sadly some parents seem to think it’s their garden and they can be as obnoxious as they like.

@ZeroFuchsGiven

I find these threads really sad tbh, dogs barking would piss me off,neighbours arguing would piss me off but kids playing?

If you read the post properly you would see it is not about children playing but children screeching.

My neighbour has a daughter who screeches non stop. She was 4 when they moved in so I thought it was because she was young. She is now 7 and still screeches and, no, she is not SEN.

On any fairly nice dry day she will be in the garden from around 9am (although sometimes earlier) until 8pm or later. If we are lucky there will be a short break when she presumably eats but other than that she shrieks and screeches almost the whole time.

It drives me mad. I don't mind the sound of children playing and would expect some shrieking but not non bloody stop. When she talks she talks at the top of her voice but then so does the mum.

I don't really bother even trying to sit in the garden because of her. But even indoors with the doors and windows closed (which is not great when it is warm) I can hear her clearly. She even drowns out the tv. My living room is at the front of the house and she is in her back garden but that is how loud she is

YANBU - when my new neighbours moved in they let the kids make unlimited noise, including angry and upset screaming and fighting - actually it was mostly upset screaming.
There was no parental input for several hours, just let the kids shout and scream.
Happy contented playing - lovely to hear. Cross, angry and upset children screaming and shouting for hours - not lovely at all.

It abated for a few months when one of them seemed to injure themselves unsupervised on a massive trampoline. Now there are bad days again.

Some parents are just shitty people with no regard for others.

My 9 year old is a shrieker. Always has been. As soon as she starts she gets a warning that if she keeps doing it she'll be coming in. The parents of the children she plays with have been given my permission to tell her to shut up. One time could hear her screaming in someone's garden at the top of my street from my living room ffs. It drives me insane never mind the neighbours. I really wouldn't be offended if my neighbours mentioned it to me in fact I'm surprised they haven't perhaps they are more tolerant than me . She's getting better now thanks goodness she was bad last year but I haven't had to warn her so far this year.......

@GreyhoundG1rl I’m not sure if there is anything I can do. My neighbour sits out in the morning so I wait until he goes in before I let the kids out, they don’t go out for hours and hours but they are loud. I do try but they are just SO loud, even when they are playing nicely. Anyway, they thread isn’t about me but there we go.

There’s a big difference between the lighthearted shrieks of joy & sound of laughter, and the continuous bellowing shriek that comes of parents failing to teach their children how to respect each other & those around him.

Ex-teacher with SEN experience too. I’ve never known a continuous shrieker, outside the remit of joy, laughter, frustration or pain. Even then, those shrieks have differing volumes & pitches which can be recognised.

The children next to us are of the high pitched, bellowing shrieking variety. Most often peppered with fighting/crying/tantrums (they’re neuro-typical & well above an age where tantrums are usual). Unfortunately, the children on the other side are also shriekers.

It’s interesting to note, in our stereo shrieking hell, that both families are of the shouty mother & loud music variety, so I can only conclude that the children shriek simply to be heard over the BOOM BOOM BOOM of the stereo & the countless on speaker phone arguments the parents seem to think everyone needs to hear, usually bemoaning their latest conquest’s lack of prowess in bed.

Such inattention to the small detail of their children shouting loudly concludes with one neighbours child (of around 3) being dangled out of the 1st storey bedroom window by one of her older siblings. It’s only by the grace of some deity I saw them & dashed round. Mother was utterly oblivious.

My 2 weren’t angels by any means, but I taught them if they shrieked all the time, they’d be put on a timeout inside, because (and I’m partially deaf) I would just dismiss any true shriek for help. A signal to noise ratio thing. And to be considerate of everyone around us (elderly & grumpy bastard neighbours). Which is why, in the field a few metres from us, I heard clearly my daughter’s shriek of fear & pain as she fell from a tree & broke her arm. (See? Not an utter playing outside fun sponge).

We all live in tiny houses with tiny gardens. We all have a right to enjoy our homes. But we can only achieve that if we are considerate of others. Kids really don’t need to scream like banshees all day.

Oh god I was in a shop with a shrieking for fun child the other day. She wanted the mums attention; mum wanted to shop. Kid was shrieking as loudly and high pitched as she could then laughing when her mum shouted at her. It went on for ages.

The whole shop hated that mum.

I have a toddler, I know what they’re like but when they’re making that level of noise and behaving that awfully you either give up and leave or distract them with something; you do not simply inflict it on everyone else endlessly.