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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To despair of new neighbours' shrieking children?

340 replies

saraclara · 17/04/2021 19:08

It's been a glorious afternoon, but I've had to spend it indoors, and even with my doors closed I can hear them. I don't know how they can shriek for this long without having really sore throats. It's not ordinary play shouting, it's just pointless daft shrieking as far as I can tell. They've been out there for at least four hours. There was a break for about 20 minutes, then it started up again. I'm guessing from the tone of the shrieks that they're about 7-9 years old?

There's nothing I can do about it, is there? This is it for the spring and summer.

I could weep.

OP posts:
ChikiTIKI · 17/04/2021 20:04

Spray a hose maybe each time they do it? 😅

StoneofDestiny · 17/04/2021 20:04

I never let my children shriek in the garden for this very reason. It’s selfish and inconsiderate.

Everyone should be allowed to enjoy their gardens, not just those with children

Exactly this.
When did this attitude develop that only kids are allowed to enjoy their gardens?

osbertthesyrianhamster · 17/04/2021 20:04

YABU.

Blasting music is far worse.

Magnificentmug12 · 17/04/2021 20:04

I find it so sad being going out telling their kids to be quite, after doing it 2/3 times do you then tell them off properly or send them indoors? So sad.

I don’t agree with someone else’s happiness and pleasure trumping kids happiness and pleasure on the basis of age. I feel sorry for kids nowadays, they have nowhere to go and can’t do anything! Even in their own gardens!

Jumpers268 · 17/04/2021 20:04

@ZeroFuchsGiven

I dont like kids, I just about tolerate my own but I could not get worked up about kids playing in their own garden on a sunny day.
Haha this is me! So true!
Nonbio46 · 17/04/2021 20:04

I often sit in my garden with earplugs in in the summer. It doesn’t totally block out all noise but it makes it easier to relax and enjoy the sunshine. X

TheMoth · 17/04/2021 20:06

I'm just not convinced people are brought up to consider others' feelings. There's a house near here, who thinks we all like to hear their music. I don't. If I'm in the garden, I try to make sure the music can't be heard by others. I grew up on a housing estate, so you had to consider others. However, I do remember being told off at 15, by next door but one, for having music blaring out my window. I didn't see her problem then, but I would now.

Dc2 attempted to be a screamer when she first started primary, but we cured her of that.

woodlandcalm · 17/04/2021 20:06

I feel your pain OP. Child behind us (diagonal, like yours by the description) shrieks - literally a noise that cuts to the core. Its not the usual kid noise and sadly he's only about 2 so god knows how many years we have of this or how much worse it will get. His mother screams at her teen daughter, who gives as good back screaming and swearing at the mother so its a poor living environment for a child and I assume his screeching is a reflection of that but my god I wish they would all disappear.

normalsaline · 17/04/2021 20:06

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

would you rather they be indoors glued to the tv? % um, yes, I definitely would prefer that

God how sad.

Is it? Why is it sad that I’d rather some kids I have no relationship with would shut the fuck up and let me enjoy the nice weather in my quiet garden, than shriek and scream and squeal needlessly?
IamnotH · 17/04/2021 20:07

@ChikiTIKI

Spray a hose maybe each time they do it? 😅
My kids would love this and shriek more. They're not cats!
TheMoth · 17/04/2021 20:08

I also think that kids are perfectly capable of playing without screaming.

Happycat1212 · 17/04/2021 20:08

This annoys me because I have 4 children so of course they are going to be loud, I tell them not to shout or screech but my oldest has autism and it’s in one ear and out the other, I hate feeling like I’m living on edge in case neighbours complain, mind you they never have , probably because there is a much louder noisier family a few doors down, who constantly blast music and shout at each other all day I can hear their whole conversation and I’m 2 doors down and then there’s the constant screaming of “Ivy mai” (one of their kids but my god they scream her name constantly!) every 2 seconds 😤

RedactedTaeFeck · 17/04/2021 20:09

There is totally a difference. I live next to a childminder so obviously there are lots of kids (including her own) out playing and shouting and laughing, totally normal and actually pretty easy to tune out. We have new neighbours from last summer that back on to her, so diagonally across from my back garden, they have a pre school child and a baby - baby fine, woman seems fine, young child and dad just never shut up. Child screeches and dad keeps winding him up to screech more.

I have grown up kids and the street is full of kids. This house is different. I'm hoping this summer they might have grown up a bit.

warmandtoasty2day · 17/04/2021 20:09

i'd rather listen to kids shrieking than be tortured with someone elses shit music noise, just makes me want to visit them with an axe [through the music system] Angry i've very short fuse with tossers.

Magnificentmug12 · 17/04/2021 20:09

Because that’s what kids do! You don’t have more of a right than they do. Why can you not be considerate that they have been in lockdown for a year with nothing to do? Or is it just your wants that are important?

If you want silence buy a house with a garden that is not near neighbours!

WombatChocolate · 17/04/2021 20:10

It’s annoying, but children could well be in the garden all day in summer and in all likelihood won’t play quietly.

I’d think carefully before saying something....but if you really need to, say cheerfully and politely that you know children will make a noise when they play, but is there any chance of them toning down the screaming.

That’s all you can do. Some parents will then follow their kids up and work hard to reduce the noise and others won’t do anything.

The earplugs is quite a good idea.
You can feel annoyed and feel you shouldn’t have to, or you can wear them becaue it makes it more pleasant for you.

We have some noisy neighbours whose room is the other side of the wall to our room. They have a baby or small child in with them who wakes very early and there is a lol if noise. I either wear earplugs to bed now or keep them under my pillow and pop them in when I stir with them waking. I sleep much better now.

With living close to others, there’s lots of little annoyances and with most of them you just have to accept them. Not letting yourself get too upset helps plus doing the little things you can to minimise the impact on you helps too, rather than expecting them to change their behaviour significantly.

Dentistlakes · 17/04/2021 20:11

I would wait for week or so and see if it calms down. If not and your really can’t stand it, I would go round to speak to the parents. Children can play without screeching; mine certainly can. It’s not acceptable for them to be so loud you can’t relax in your own home.

Jumpers268 · 17/04/2021 20:12

It's posts like these that makes me so grateful I have neighbours on both sides who have children!

AstraZenecaisprettyforagirl · 17/04/2021 20:12

Or would you rather they be indoors glued to the tv?

Rather than disturbing OP's peace? I would imagine she would, yes. Why are we all supposed to be altruists with the noble exception of lazy parents who can't be bothered to shut their children's screeching up!?

GoodbyePorpoiseSpit · 17/04/2021 20:13

Not all parents respond well to the kids being told to be quiet... I’d approach the adults rather than the children directly.
Agree with other posters that unless you live in the middle of nowhere then really neighbourhood noise is to be expected. Some kids shriek. It’s annoying and I do tell mine to be quiet if they scream..., but I’d be cross if on a sunny day especially after the year we have had that they couldn’t let off steam in their own damn garden.

SylHellais · 17/04/2021 20:14

We don’t have kids and we don’t mind at all hearing other people’s’ kids playing in their gardens. What does become annoying, however, is repetitive shouts (like last year, a child continually officious bellowed instructions over and over again presumably to younger siblings, so for hours it was:

No, do xyz. No, do xyz. No, do xyz. No, do xyz. NO,DO XYZ NO DO XYX NO DO XYZ NO DO XYZ. NO, THE SWING! FIND THE HEDGEHOG! DONT DO THAT! I TOLD YOU TO GO THERE, NO THERE, NO THERE NO THERE!

StoneofDestiny · 17/04/2021 20:14

I also think that kids are perfectly capable of playing without screaming

Exactly.
.

Beetlewing · 17/04/2021 20:16

Ah well. It will only be a few short years and they'll be tearing up and down the street in their crappy hatchbacks at 11pm and you'll yearn for the days when it was just little children having fun in their own garden on a sunny day

StoneofDestiny · 17/04/2021 20:19

It's lazy parenting.
Kids can play without screeching and shouting. Parents should be responsible enough to teach them that everybody wants to enjoy their garden, whether it's pruning their roses or reading a book or playing nicely. It's about cooperation to make a neighbourhood a nice one to live in.

Original poster
saraclara · 17/04/2021 20:20

@Magnificentmug12

Because that’s what kids do! You don’t have more of a right than they do. Why can you not be considerate that they have been in lockdown for a year with nothing to do? Or is it just your wants that are important?

If you want silence buy a house with a garden that is not near neighbours!

It isn't what all kids do. It's what a minority do.

As I've said before, it's not the usual sound of kids playing. I've had plenty of neighbours with kids who play in the garden. This is different, and it's incredibly piercing when I can't even escape it indoors. I don't think any special needs are involved either, going by the bits of non-shrieking communication that I can hear. I taught children with severe learning difficulties/autism so would probably pick up where something like that was amiss.

OP posts: