To despair of new neighbours' shrieking children?

[saraclara]

It's been a glorious afternoon, but I've had to spend it indoors, and even with my doors closed I can hear them. I don't know how they can shriek for this long without having really sore throats. It's not ordinary play shouting, it's just pointless daft shrieking as far as I can tell. They've been out there for at least four hours. There was a break for about 20 minutes, then it started up again. I'm guessing from the tone of the shrieks that they're about 7-9 years old?

There's nothing I can do about it, is there? This is it for the spring and summer.

I could weep.

Round my way, it's 50% shrieking and 50% kicking balls off garden walls, cars and front doors. My letterbox flap was broken by this, and when I mentioned it (politely) to the parents, they shrugged and said it was just kids playing, too bad. My NDN bypassed the parents altogether, and told the kids off directly when they hit her car. The parents then turned up to give her an earful.

When some people respond to property damage like this, it's not rocket science to see why their neighbours wouldn't bother mentioning shrieking.

I dread the nice weather, which is depressing in itself as I have SAD and so could use the opportunity to enjoy my outdoor space and the sunshine.

All of which to say, OP, I'm really sorry and YANBU. Some people take "it takes a village" to mean "the village is my child's playground and nobody is allowed to say otherwise".

To the people that are moving house, do you think that is the answer? How do you know you are not going to end up beside worse? Ive often wondered if people who do move because of neighbour/noise/screaming children issues find it does work out, or have they ended up in worse situations?

@Gothichouse40 I guess my thoughts are I do as much due diligence as I can not to be in this situation again. There are some other factors within my situation which I could not have controlled (bit difficult to explain). Thankfully we have a decent budget and every house I look up on rightmove I do a google earth view and street view and satellite view to see what is around the house and surrounding areas. I have discounted probably 70% of houses I was interested in due to external factors like neighbours too close or near schools, pubs etc. Of course there is no guarantee in life.

@Gothichouse40 I understand your point and it is something we have considered. It is a really difficult decision and we have spent hours discussing whether we should stay, the children will get older, they may move on etc. It is precisely the fact that we could end up with the same or even a bigger problem that we haven't yet put our house on the market. However, with this family it isn't just the children shrieking for hours on end there are other issues. We also don't think they will move on. Unless your budget is massive, I don't think anywhere can be 100% perfect and I don't expect that. Like I said earlier, normal neighbour noise is absolutely to be expected: children playing, DIY, visitors, garden machinery etc but this is different. There have been a number of issues in the last couple of years but we have always thought the positives outweigh the negatives that and the fact that we love the property and what we have achieved with it led us to believe that we would stay. However, I think we all feel that the negatives now outweigh the positives and it is time to look for another property.

I don't think it is going to be straightforward and like @Cosmos45 said there are no guarantees.

That’s so bad @Cosmos45. It goes to show though that money doesn’t buy class.
Sadly it also shows that you can get problems like this in any kind of neighbourhood.

It’s awful isn’t it. Next door to me have 2 kids that they let scream day and night. Especially if it’s in the garden they shriek while jumping on the trampoline or swing sends me absolutely crazy. A little bit you can tolerate but don’t let your kids do it all day it’s not fair.

I have shriekers. My oldest is autistic and, despite what OP said previously, shrieking is not limited to the non verbal or distressed autistic child! He is hyposensitive to noise, so he also has a very loud voice that he does not regulate well. Despite our best efforts, the younger 2 are also quite loud, when they play together, presumably modelling his play.
We do send them in when it's excessive, and we have a sensory tent in the garden to try and regulate overwhelm.
Having said that, we moved into our house November 2019. Last spring/summer we were both working full time and try to manage the kids as best as possible, and there was NO WHERE to go except the garden. Our neighbours at the back (who both work with children professionally) made our lives even more miserable than lockdown had, by constantly shouting at them to shut up, and then installed a "cat scare" alarm which they turned on when the kids stepped outside. This emitted a noise that they thought adults couldn't hear but we very much could, and for my children it was agony. I went round and very nicely asked them to turn it off and they denied all knowledge - I had to (nicely) suggest that environmental health would need to investigate and it stopped.
What I'm trying to say (in a long winded way) is that some children are louder than others, lots of parents try their best to manage this but it's exhausting being hypervigilant, the last 12 months have been a bit of an extreme example of how often children play out in their gardens, and neighbours can also be unreasonable.

wejammin Sorry your neighbours did that (thinks of lots of bad words in head)

Weejammin I hear you! None of us have been in OPs place so it is hard to judge that particular instance but to those of us with children with SN, posts like this can be upsetting. I even saw upthread that a poster said 20 mins outside for a child with Tourettes was too much for the neighbours. There is a big difference between children being noisy because the parents are neglectful and disrespecting of their neighbours and children who find it difficult/impossible to control their volume and their parents who struggle every day to ensure their children aren't causing a problem for others. It can be exhausting and very upsetting. All I say is that you shouldn't judge others without knowledge of their situation.

wejammin. To some people though (me included), shrieking is just as awful as the cat scare thing 🤷‍♀️
Laughing, talking, ball games, trampoline etc. no problem at all. It’s the awful, high pitched, pretty continuous shrieking. Like fingernails on a blackboard to me.

What’s unreasonable is subjective and personal, I guess. You think your neighbours are, they think you are.

Just to offer a view from the other side. I have 2 children, one very polite quiet well behaved respectful child who does everything she is asked and one screeching, high pitched screaming boisterous angry, tantrum thrower. Both children have been parented in exactly the same way. They both have boundaries they are both loved and cared for. It adds huge stress on top of an already very stressful situation knowing we are being judged by everyone, we have recently moved home and are clearly disliked. I totally appreciate it’s disruptive, extremely disruptive. What I would ask all the judgers to consider is how many of you parented a toddler through a lockdown when you were stuck in 4 walls and garden day after day with 2 parents who were working from home with no outside support from family or childcare and had another child to homeschool. Do people think honestly think this hasn’t affected children. Lots and lots of children are struggling, my child is clearly affected despite our best efforts, we have sought all the available help but short of putting tape over his mouth what would you like us to do. Let me assure you, you may be hating it all from your homes and gardens, try living with it day after day when your trying your best to support your child in every way possible when all you get is slamming doors and disapproving looks. Mull that over.

Only 2 years old this thread - must try harder!

Reported for trolling. There’s already enough ill feeling towards those without kids on here without trolls creating more.