To despair of new neighbours' shrieking children?

[saraclara]

It's been a glorious afternoon, but I've had to spend it indoors, and even with my doors closed I can hear them. I don't know how they can shriek for this long without having really sore throats. It's not ordinary play shouting, it's just pointless daft shrieking as far as I can tell. They've been out there for at least four hours. There was a break for about 20 minutes, then it started up again. I'm guessing from the tone of the shrieks that they're about 7-9 years old?

There's nothing I can do about it, is there? This is it for the spring and summer.

I could weep.

@warmandtoasty2day

i'd rather listen to kids shrieking than be tortured with someone elses shit music noise, just makes me want to visit them with an axe [through the music system] i've very short fuse with tossers.

Same here! God, fucking SICK of blasting music and bass.

Our neighbour's are lovely until they get in the sodding hot tub. Then they screech to be heard over the bastarding jets.

I hate that hot tub.

If you want silence to make an inconsiderate amount of noise buy a house with a garden that is not near neighbours!

@ComDummings

And honestly some kids are awful for it, there’s a difference between normal play (which may be loud and annoying but understandable) and actual shrieking (which is like torture) so I get it OP.

This. There's chatting, giggling, laughing and the odd shriek, and that's fine.

Constant shrieking for hours is torture. We had neighbours like it once and it was hell until they got kicked out by the landlord moved.

I agree that often excessive noise is lazy parenting and problem shouldn’t have to put up with it.....but the reality is that lots of parents are a bit lazy and the noise is there. So then you have to manage it....and often it’s easier and more effective to find ways to minimise the impact on yourself.

Having an attitude that it shouldn’t happen and it’s not your responsibility to help yourself but theirs to stop it, is more likely to result in disappointment and no improvement for you, I’d say. You have to be pragmatic about these things.

I think that if it’s been bad for lots of days and not just 1 or 2, it’s okay to say something, but the tone and wording is so important. You really need to be cheery, emphasise that you know children will make noise and just ask if there’s any chance of reducing the actual screaming. And much better to ask and easier to say if you’ve already chatted to the neighbours about other stuff and make sure you’re friendly in future and chat again. If the first time they see you and speak to you is a complaint, it’s a bit tricky.

Find ways to manage it. Have some low level music playing, wear earplugs, and work hard on not letting yourself become furious. These things often deliver better outcomes for you than being curious.

Hopefully it will improve, but chances are there’s going to be a level of noise for a while and you’ll need to adjust and adapt to it. Realising that rather than expecting it can be resolved fully is the first step to it being manageable to you I think.

My dd used to shriek like this when excited in the park with her friends, it was so loud it was like sonar!
I used to have to keep telling her to keep it down and she did listen .
I agree with others about a polite word

I say loud but meant high pitched !

I’m reminded of a very lovely lady who like the poster above has two very loud children with SEN. She lived on a street parallel to ours and we could hear her very lovely children screaming at the end of our 100 foot garden. So that’s their garden, the opposite neighbours garden, the road and end of our 100 foot garden. It’s not “children playing.” And it’s not ok for my SEN child to need to wear ear defenders outside in our garden or stay inside because a street away, someone else thinks their kids’ needs trumps all else.

@saraclara

It's been a glorious afternoon, but I've had to spend it indoors, and even with my doors closed I can hear them. I don't know how they can shriek for this long without having really sore throats. It's not ordinary play shouting, it's just pointless daft shrieking as far as I can tell. They've been out there for at least four hours. There was a break for about 20 minutes, then it started up again. I'm guessing from the tone of the shrieks that they're about 7-9 years old?

There's nothing I can do about it, is there? This is it for the spring and summer.

I could weep.

I'd have to have a word. Expecting you to put up with that is a joke.

@Magnificentmug12

I find it so sad being going out telling their kids to be quite, after doing it 2/3 times do you then tell them off properly or send them indoors? So sad.

I don’t agree with someone else’s happiness and pleasure trumping kids happiness and pleasure on the basis of age. I feel sorry for kids nowadays, they have nowhere to go and can’t do anything! Even in their own gardens!

What is it you think they should be allowed to do ?

Shriek and scream?

How sad for the poor neighbours

@saraclara if this is the first time it's been an issue I would give them a bit of leeway. It is pretty much the first weekend since July 202 round here at least where we have had weather nice enough for kids to play out. Hopefully they will calm down. If not a quiet word with the parents may be required.

My daughter has a tendency to do that high pitch squeal when excited. I used to do my best to curtail it, however my next door neighbours think nothing of having loud swear parties on any night of the week with obscenely loud music and screaming til 2am...when I tried to speak to said neighbour I was basically told to fuck off (who incidentally moans the second anyone makes noise and his nurse daughter is disturbed when working nights) so in petty retaliation I don't rush to shhh my dd these days.

Or would you rather they be indoors glued to the tv?.

. I'm guessing she'd prefer them not to screech solidly for hours at a time?

Oh, if only I could hear children enjoying themselves. At the same time@saraclara I can appreciate how shrieking noises affect your enjoyment of your outside space. There are conditions whereby people are driven to distraction by some sounds. Some of my worst ones are tutting, and people squeaking[?] a page when they turn it over. Weirdly enough, I'm not bothered by fingers down a blackboard.

I say I'd like to hear children enjoying themselves, because I never hear that from my garden. What I do hear is builders and construction work going on all around us; on a playing field and what was previously a bungalow site. The field has about 160 properties being built on it, and the bungalow site has two bungalows and eight apartments going up.

I have a rescue dog who is terrified of abosutely everything. It's now near impossible to get him into the garden to wee, just in case he spots builders. To be fair, he'd probably also be scared of screeches from children; but I'd still rather hear that than feeling vibrations from construction vehicles through my floor and my radiators. Looking at of my kitchen window today I was thinking, 'Thank God we've got our foxes, squirrels, robins and sparrows able to use our garden', but for how long? They could probably live alongside children, but not so much construction work.

Kids that age (indeed any age) are perfectly capable of playing happily without shrieking, provided there’s no SEN involved. I find it really fucking annoying, and if there’s no other explanation for it it’s just shit parenting. I nipped any shrieking mine tried to do well in the bud.

If it happens again, I'd stand in your garden and make the same noise. And keep doing so until it stops.

We were on holiday once and the noise from the kids in the next garden was actually making me feel unwell. On the 3rd day of enduring it from 7.30am to nearly tea time, I stood out there and yelled even louder. Parents soon oiked them in. It's quite satisfying too.

Kids have suffered the most through this year Of lock downs.
Let them bloody play.
If you’re that sensitive to noise, you need to find a house in a more rural location.

@GreyhoundG1rl

Or would you rather they be indoors glued to the tv?. . I'm guessing she'd prefer them not to screech solidly for hours at a time?

Exactly. It's not like there are only two alternatives, screeching for five hours or watching TV.

Where do you live OP?
Maybe they will see this thread!

@Chamonixshoopshoop

Kids have suffered the most through this year Of lock downs. Let them bloody play. If you’re that sensitive to noise, you need to find a house in a more rural location.

Children have been allowed in their gardens all the way through so no change there and lockdown isn’t an excuse for poor neighbourly behaviour.

So according to some folk on here it's fine to complain about a neighbour's dog barking but people's children are free to be a nuisance to others.. inconsistent much?

When my daughter was about 2 she thought it was brilliant to scream with one other little girl at nursery. I don’t know how it didn’t send them insane tbh. I’ve never tolerated her doing it in the garden. There is a big difference between playing and excited squeals and the shrieking she used to do at nursery with this girl.

Kids need to be taught not to shriek, in the same way as they are taught to excrete in toilets and do many other things that they are not born knowing.

I don’t think it’s on to allow your kids to shriek relentlessly in gardens, the same way it’s not on play loud music. The vast majority of people accept a bit of noise but get pissed off if it’s constant and penetrating and anti social.

The problem is that a lot of parents have tuned out the shrieking and think it’s normal, then get defensive when confronted about it, hence all the ‘it’s only children playing what’s wrong with you’ brigade.

Bad luck! My sister's DC were loud. They'd shout over one another. Used to drive me nuts. I felt sorry for our neighbours when they came round. Mine had less decibels. No idea why.

I think this problem is much worse nowadays than it used to be.
When I was a child, in the 1950’s and 60’s, we weren’t in the garden. We were off down the woods or the park, all day, where our noise didn’t disturb anyone. Parents now are terrified of traffic and paedophiles, so tend not to let the kids roam freely.
Secondly, estates now are built with a much higher housing density and smaller gardens, so far more children are crammed into a smaller space, in closer proximity to neighbours.
Finally, modern parents are far less strict with their children. If we had screamed repeatedly in the garden, annoying the neighbours, we’d have received one warning before being slapped and dragged indoors.
I sympathise, OP. I’m autistic, and high pitched loud noise causes sensory overload - I would be having a murderous meltdown in your situation!
I hope you can find a way to resolve it. Industrial ear defenders (£20 on Amazon) would block out ALL sound for you, but they are very isolating and stop you hearing the lovely birdsong and bumble bees humming - all the natural sounds that you actually want to enjoy in your garden, and are being denied by the behaviour of some badly brought up selfish brats.