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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bought a dog - person wants it back..aibu?

459 replies

mrsdaz · 17/04/2021 15:19

I bought a dog 2 days ago from a lovely lady who was finding it hard to manage him due to working full time etc.

Agreed sale on Tuesday, collected him Thursday evening. All well. She has been in touch since by text to see how he is.

Yesterday got a text saying she's missing the dog and would have him back in a heartbeat.

Today I've had a text message from her daughter asking for the dog back. Plus subsequent phone call that I didn't answer.

Aibu to keep the dog? He's so happy and isn't pining for previous home etc. He will be with someone all the time rather than alone all day and has a companion dog here.

Who would give the dog back?

OP posts:
LH1987 · 20/04/2021 19:53

I’d block their numbers personally, they made a decision, they now regret it, the dog is in a loving home.

Heyduggee123 · 20/04/2021 19:57

Block all numbers and enjoy your dog. Sounds like he now has a lovely home. I suspect they want more money for it

Strongbeatsskinny · 20/04/2021 19:57

Block them the dog belongs to @mrsdaz they don’t deserve a second thought enjoy your new puppy

espressoontap · 20/04/2021 20:04

I had to rehome my dog at the age of 5 a few years ago. It broke my heart, easily the worst day of my life and the single most hardest decision I ever made. I'd never seen my husband sob / howl before. She didn't react to our son very well and she grew increasingly anxious / nervous around him. We tried everything to settle her, vet, behaviourist, therapists, we spent hundreds of pounds. It came a time where I felt she looked at me as if to say she has had enough and couldn't handle it anymore.

I found her the most wonderful home and I'm still in regular contact with her new owner now, 3 years later. She is worshipped and looks so happy, like she did before our son came along.

The weeks that followed rehoming her were the darkest days of my life but I couldn't and wouldn't have asked for her back.

Please keep the dog. His home is with you.

PumpkinSpiceWoman · 20/04/2021 20:05

Her daughter shouldn't be contacting you - that could be seen as borderline intimidation, getting other people to make demands on you.

Cherrysoup · 20/04/2021 20:06

Block the lot of them. This is turning into harassment.

Sammysquiz · 20/04/2021 20:08

I would block them & also change your username on here so they can’t contact you via Mumsnet.

TurquoiseDragon · 20/04/2021 20:11

4. OP has changed the microchip. OP is now therefore the owner.

The microchip is not proof of ownership.

TurquoiseDragon · 20/04/2021 20:14

@Sammysquiz

I would block them & also change your username on here so they can’t contact you via Mumsnet.
You can be contacted even if you've changed your username, I've found.

Someone once sent a message to me using an old username. I couldn't reply until I'd changed the username back to that old one, then it sent. Might be different now, but it was last year, I think.

Any messages can just be ignored and deleted.

CattingTime · 20/04/2021 20:15

@TurquoiseDragon

4. OP has changed the microchip. OP is now therefore the owner.

The microchip is not proof of ownership.

What's your point? They sold the dog to the op. She is now the wonder.
Nomorepies · 20/04/2021 20:20

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request

RideaCockHorseOfCourse · 20/04/2021 20:26

You could send said daughter a message that you understand it must have been difficult to part with him, but it has settled very well now with your family and your children love him. (That may help if the lady has genuinely been anxious about letting him go). Suggest maybe she could consider getting another dog, and you would appreciate no further contact. Then block, op. Good luck with your lovely new pet.

NeilBuchananisBanksy · 20/04/2021 20:34

Christ, don't suggest she gets another dog.

I'd send one last message to them both making it very clear you will not be returning the dog and that any further messages will constitute harassment.

CombatBarbie · 20/04/2021 20:34

@RideaCockHorseOfCourse

You could send said daughter a message that you understand it must have been difficult to part with him, but it has settled very well now with your family and your children love him. (That may help if the lady has genuinely been anxious about letting him go). Suggest maybe she could consider getting another dog, and you would appreciate no further contact. Then block, op. Good luck with your lovely new pet.
She already has on here.... The daughter has posted on this thread.
Elsiebear90 · 20/04/2021 20:42

Don’t give them the dog back, my MIL has form for doing this, buying dogs then saying she can’t look after them and selling them, she’s done it to about 14 dogs. She asked for a few back then sold them again not long after.

SquirtleSquad · 20/04/2021 20:45

@Elsiebear90 that's horrendous, did you try and stop the cycle?

JayAlfredPrufrock · 20/04/2021 20:47

So glad you haven’t returned him.

Ddot · 20/04/2021 20:47

Tell the seller to get a goldfish

mummabubs · 20/04/2021 20:48

I have utmost sympathy for the original owner as I can well imagine they are regretting their decision and this must be really hard for them.
However... I fully agree that they made that choice, OP is now the owner and under no obligation to return the dog (and nor should she!) The part that made my ears prick up in the OP was that the owner was struggling due to working full time. This is a set up that doesn't work for the vast majority of dogs, especially companion breeds! We have a rescued greyhound, we wanted a dog for years, waited until I worked part time and even then our choice of breed was distracted by what our lifestyle could offer. Like most greys he spends 15-20 hours a day asleep and we had cameras set up to check he wasn't distressed when we left him. When he was younger we also paid for a dog walker so that he got a decent time out and about on the 3 days I do work. It sounds like the original owner hadn't fully considered the commitment that dogs come with and on that basis alone I'd be very reticenct to consider putting the dog through another upheaval. The dog is happy and settled, if that dog's welfare is the original owner's top priority then she will have to respect that.

TripleSeptic · 20/04/2021 20:50

Tell them you've already sold him on for £1000 then block 😂

warmandtoasty2day · 20/04/2021 20:54

i would ignore the messages, but take police advice if they continue to harrass. to keep pestering you makes them sound unhinged imo.

Nightbear · 20/04/2021 21:03

A 9 month old dog that’s not housetrained and was being fed adult dog food? It is very lucky for the dog that it’s now with a competent owner.

scubadive · 20/04/2021 21:09

There’s some very unpleasant and stupid people on this thread.

No I have nothing to do with this dog.

I have raised the issue of money as peephole were posting that she only wanted it back to make more money, crazy speculations about it all being about money, I was merely pointing out that she had lost money and it was the op would had gained.

Op had confirmed that she has offered more money for the dog back, this is how desperate she is to have her dog back.

People were slagging the ex owner off for not doing all the proper checks, I was merely highlighting that perhaps the saintly op hadn’t done all her proper checks.

Very little info has been posted, nobody has any real idea as to the ex owners situation, how good or bad she was as a dog owner. The op herself has stressed that she was a nice lady and has not suggested any poor treatment.

Perhaps her family have stepped in once they found out what she had done and perhaps yes they have offered to help. Perhaps the mum hadn’t wanted to burden her children, perhaps they have said they would all chip in for doggie daycare. They could be 100 different scenarios but the op says the previous owner was trying to do her best for the dog and so obviously a good owner, putting her dog first.

I have merely pointed out that people can make mistakes, this owner very quickly realised hers and the op had only had the dog for less than 2 days. What was there to loose for op to hand the dog back and give this poor lady a second chance, that would have been the kind thing to do.

I remain shocked at all the immediate callous piling on, slagging off the previous owner to the hilt, saying it was all about money, what a terrible person she was, etc etc when no-one knows anything about her.

All we know is one side from the op, there are two sides to everything and people should just be kinder and more tolerant. The attitude on her has been very grabby, he’s mine now, I have myself a bargain and I’m keeping it, sod the consequences for anyone else.

The op says she offered £300 as this is all she could afford, dogs are expensive to look after and so perhaps the op should have stuck with the one dog she has already and that she actually can’t afford a second dog.

And why go ringing up about dogs that are priced out of your range?

Maybe the owner took such a discount as she liked op and wanted the best for her dog, maybe the ex owner is a nice person unlike lots of the people on this thread. There’s definitely a lot of anger and unpleasantness out there.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 20/04/2021 21:13
Hmm
CattingTime · 20/04/2021 21:14

Lots of projecting there scuba.

Perhaps maybe could possibly.

You know far less about the situation than the op does.

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