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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bought a dog - person wants it back..aibu?

459 replies

mrsdaz · 17/04/2021 15:19

I bought a dog 2 days ago from a lovely lady who was finding it hard to manage him due to working full time etc.

Agreed sale on Tuesday, collected him Thursday evening. All well. She has been in touch since by text to see how he is.

Yesterday got a text saying she's missing the dog and would have him back in a heartbeat.

Today I've had a text message from her daughter asking for the dog back. Plus subsequent phone call that I didn't answer.

Aibu to keep the dog? He's so happy and isn't pining for previous home etc. He will be with someone all the time rather than alone all day and has a companion dog here.

Who would give the dog back?

OP posts:
RedcurrantPuff · 20/04/2021 16:07

Block their numbers as well

SchadenfreudePersonified · 20/04/2021 16:12

@EarthSight

Give him back!

Can't believe you're even asking this. The dog is happy but a lot of dogs love meeting strangers. You've known him for 2 days. Unless you have serious doubts as to his wellbeing and safety, give him back.

Can't believe you're even suggesting this!

Of course there are serious doubts about his well-being.

THEY COULDN"T LOOK AFTER HIM!

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 20/04/2021 16:13

Caveat: I’m not a dog-owner and never have been. We didn’t have any pets as children either but it’s my firm (but probably unrealistic) belief that all potential dog-owners should have to pass a test before they can get one, like driving a car.

Animal companions are not a commodity to be bought and sold at will. What animal-lover would give up a pet to some stranger without even knowing where they live? Not someone who has the animal’s best interests at heart. I would have thought that if it was absolutely necessary to give the dog up to be rehomed, then a breed-specific rehoming charity or at a push the RSPCA would be the humane and responsible thing to do, not flog it to some stranger off the street.

The only good thing to come out of this particular circumstance is that the dog appears to have landed on its paws and found itself in a good home with experienced owners

MrsBobDylan · 20/04/2021 16:17

We re-homed a dog when he was 11 months. He hadn't been house trained or walked and had no recall.

He was also reactive around food because he had had to defend himself from other dogs.

The previous owners purported to love him and seemed alright people.

Over my dead body would I ever give him back or have him suffer another moment of mistreatment. He is my dog and my soul mate.

Clarice99 · 20/04/2021 16:21

Don't relent OP. He's your dog and you sound perfect for him Smile

Block the numbers/don't respond.

Ignore the posters who are saying give him back.

Enjoy spending time with your lovely canine friend.

3babylady · 20/04/2021 16:22

Not fair to keep rehoming him it could cause so much stress, keep him and give him a good life.

In regards to previous owner I'd send a message stating bluntly, He's slotted in perfectly with our family my children are besotted and we would prefer to keep him I'm sorry your feelings have changed but ours haven't he's happy and in a loving home that's how it will stay.

DispensingShitAdviceSince2002 · 20/04/2021 16:32

I have owned dogs all my adult life. No, you shouldn't give him back. Ignore whatever nasty messages you have received from the previous owner's family. She should never, ever have bought a dog. Whoever sold her the dog in the first place should have been more diligent about vetting her, too (I wouldn't sell a dog to anyone working f/t, for starters).

Dogstalker · 20/04/2021 16:34

@TheGumption

I think the original owners daughter found the post 🙄
Hmmm @mrsdaz I don't suppose it could be this dog?? 🤔
ScrambledSmegs · 20/04/2021 16:41

The previous owner's feelings may have changed but her circumstances haven't, I bet? They're not thinking of the dog's best interests, only their own. And probably the extra cash they could make from the higher bidder...

Also I agree with PP, who sells a dog without checking out where they're going to be living?

AryaStarkWolf · 20/04/2021 16:45

Hmmm @mrsdaz I don't suppose it could be this dog??

Shock
Staffy1 · 20/04/2021 16:45

I would give him back if I had only had him for two days and knew the previous owner really wanted him back.

Ddot · 20/04/2021 16:46

BRB2021
This is for you
I tried to hold it but felt suddenly wet, my mam she sold me, can you comprehend that.
Took me somewhere that smelled all new and spoke so kindly when I did a poo.
I get lots of cuddles and food that's true but the love i feel is a puppies dream come true.
Please could you keep me safe and warm and don't make me go back to be on my own. I will grow up strong and stay by your side. And remember the mumsnet rage that helped me survive.

diddl · 20/04/2021 16:48

So if I have understood this, the person who actually sold you the dog hasn't asked for it back?

So it really isn't anything to do with anyone else!

ArcheryAnnie · 20/04/2021 16:52

@scubadive

Dont be unkind and ignore all the unforgiving intolerant posters on here.

Give the dog back, she made a mistake and is missing her dog terribly. You have only had him a few days, it’s no big deal for you, you can buy another dog, where is your humanity.

What has happened to humanity and forgivenesses.

If the original owner hasn't had the time to train the dog, acknowledges that she won't have to time be with the dog in future, and is fickle enough to risk unsettling the dog with all this back and forth - no, the dog should not be returned.

At this point the dog has to be considered. It's not a toy that can be put in and out of a box at the previous owner's whim.

TonTonMacoute · 20/04/2021 16:55

Keep the doggo, he's yours now.

Don't feel guilty.

Simples!

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 20/04/2021 16:56

He cost £300. On that basis alone you don't just 'give him back'.

Amielondon23 · 20/04/2021 16:57

I haven’t read all of the reply’s so sorry if some has said this.
If the dog is microchipped in her details then legally the dog is hers so get that changed now!
Do you have a receipt? Something in writing to say she has handed to dog over to you?
This could end up in a bit of a pickle if she didn’t hi be you something in writing- if she knows where you live then she could get the dog warden/police involved.

Get the chip changed and she won’t have a leg to stand on

lorak01 · 20/04/2021 16:57

I wouldn't give it back. As they got tired of the dog the first time, they will get a second. He is good with you.

SeaTurtles92 · 20/04/2021 17:02

[quote scubadive]@abricotine you have only ops word for that.

The op said the previous owner was a lovely lady. The dog wasn’t house trained and yet immediately she took ownership it has not had on accident, that sounds pretty house trained to me.

Op is clearly trying to justify to herself why the dog is better with her and that is possible but it still is showing no humanity for the previous owner.[/quote]
You do realise your mother didn't have time for the dog? You don't get a dog on a whim. OP is being humane but not giving him back.

He isn't yours anymore. You sold him. That was probably on a whim too. Dogs don't work like that and you can't look after them when you do things like this.

1WayOrAnother2 · 20/04/2021 17:09

They might well miss him but their needs do not come first in this matter.

They said they did not have enough time to look after him... over 9 months. I would not imagine that things have changed in the last 2 days.

Love for a dog isn't the same as feeling sentimental about it.

Love involves working out what the dog needs and wants and organising life so that this can be provided.

If you weaken and worry about the previous owner's need for the pup - send a stuffed toy. (Something sweet and fluffy but with no needs.)

RizzleRazzle · 20/04/2021 17:14

They didn't even bother to do a home check of the person they were selling their dog too, that doesn't sound like a responsible pet owner to me and I definitely wouldn't give the dog back.

It sounds like you can provide a much better home for him and he will be very happy with you. It's sad for the seller if she has changed her mind but she chose to sell her dog for £300 after a few months of having it and it doesn't sound like she did any checks so tough.

And now she has family members sending nasty messages to you! Has she actually asked for the dog back? Or is it just family members asking for her?

scubadive · 20/04/2021 17:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

scubadive · 20/04/2021 17:22

@SeaTurtles92 op isn’t being humane, she just wants the dog, it’s hers now nah nah nah nah nah nah!. There’s no suggestion that it had been badly treated or was in poor health just some half story of it not being fully toilet trained but then suddenly is.

AryaStarkWolf · 20/04/2021 17:24

You collected the dog Tuesday evening and she asked for him back Saturday, you hadn’t even had the dog 24hrs and refused to even countenance the idea of taking the dog back.

Tuesday-Saturday is a lot more than 24 hours. Presumably you meant Thursday-Saturday that's still more than 24 hours

scubadive · 20/04/2021 17:25

@RizzleRazzle, ‘They’ didn’t even bother to do a home check, well what checks did the op do. Does the op know much about the puppies parents, health checks, vaccinations etc for this poor neglected dog?

The op answered an advert and bargained for a puppy from £500 to £300, was tge op more concerned with getting herself a bargain or did the op do her full and proper research.

The bias on this thread is unbelievable.

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