Bought a dog - person wants it back..aibu?

[mrsdaz]

I bought a dog 2 days ago from a lovely lady who was finding it hard to manage him due to working full time etc.

Agreed sale on Tuesday, collected him Thursday evening. All well. She has been in touch since by text to see how he is.

Yesterday got a text saying she's missing the dog and would have him back in a heartbeat.

Today I've had a text message from her daughter asking for the dog back. Plus subsequent phone call that I didn't answer.

Aibu to keep the dog? He's so happy and isn't pining for previous home etc. He will be with someone all the time rather than alone all day and has a companion dog here.

Who would give the dog back?

Maybe, Scuba, the previous owner could have just carried on caring for her dog, then?

The previous owner wanted to get rid , sold it , then felt bad.
Tough.

@scubadive

To be fair to the OP she hasn't said anything about the original owner being interested in money and had said she felt a bit sorry for her.

Maybe @scubadive is indulging in 420 and should be given a wide berth.

OP I hope you're enjoying your new doggy. How's your other dog finding their new play mate?

@Cherrysoup

Block the lot of them. This is turning into harassment.

Agree.

Seriously, block their numbers and stop corresponding

@scubadive

There’s some very unpleasant and stupid people on this thread.

No I have nothing to do with this dog.

I have raised the issue of money as peephole were posting that she only wanted it back to make more money, crazy speculations about it all being about money, I was merely pointing out that she had lost money and it was the op would had gained.

Op had confirmed that she has offered more money for the dog back, this is how desperate she is to have her dog back.

People were slagging the ex owner off for not doing all the proper checks, I was merely highlighting that perhaps the saintly op hadn’t done all her proper checks.

Very little info has been posted, nobody has any real idea as to the ex owners situation, how good or bad she was as a dog owner. The op herself has stressed that she was a nice lady and has not suggested any poor treatment.

Perhaps her family have stepped in once they found out what she had done and perhaps yes they have offered to help. Perhaps the mum hadn’t wanted to burden her children, perhaps they have said they would all chip in for doggie daycare. They could be 100 different scenarios but the op says the previous owner was trying to do her best for the dog and so obviously a good owner, putting her dog first.

I have merely pointed out that people can make mistakes, this owner very quickly realised hers and the op had only had the dog for less than 2 days. What was there to loose for op to hand the dog back and give this poor lady a second chance, that would have been the kind thing to do.

I remain shocked at all the immediate callous piling on, slagging off the previous owner to the hilt, saying it was all about money, what a terrible person she was, etc etc when no-one knows anything about her.

All we know is one side from the op, there are two sides to everything and people should just be kinder and more tolerant. The attitude on her has been very grabby, he’s mine now, I have myself a bargain and I’m keeping it, sod the consequences for anyone else.

The op says she offered £300 as this is all she could afford, dogs are expensive to look after and so perhaps the op should have stuck with the one dog she has already and that she actually can’t afford a second dog.

And why go ringing up about dogs that are priced out of your range?

Maybe the owner took such a discount as she liked op and wanted the best for her dog, maybe the ex owner is a nice person unlike lots of the people on this thread. There’s definitely a lot of anger and unpleasantness out there.

Even if the nice lady has made a mistake tough shit she has to just live with it. The OP has no obligation legal, moral or otherwise to return the dog.

The dog is now your dog and your responsibility.

Are you happy rehoming your dog to someone who works full time and recently sold their dog as it was too much owning a dog?

Keep the dog

They are clearly all too irresponsible to own a dog, they gave him up without even bothering to check out the home he was going to. Just imagine if it wasn’t you and was some awful person who had got him, they clearly didn’t care enough about him to check a few days ago.
It sounds like he’s thriving with you. He’s your dog now, you keep him

Just re-read that post and it's sounds harsh!

Didn't mean to be, just trying to frame it differently.

Keep the pup.

@SquirtleSquad

Maybe *@scubadive* is indulging in 420 and should be given a wide berth.

OP I hope you're enjoying your new doggy. How's your other dog finding their new play mate?

Ah I see! Happy 420 scuba! 😜

#BeKind again. Always the phrase used by those expecting another person to do something to benefit them, even when it's at their own detriment. No mention of 'being kind' to the OP. Nor, funnily enough, the dog.

To regret an action and ask for the dog back is fine, but once the answer's been given in the negative, the matter is closed. It's the lack of acceptance of the OP's response, the outsize sense of entitlement that she'll immediately capitulate to their second whim (the first being selling the animal in the first place), and the expectation that a buyer is responsible for atoning for a seller's mistake. She isn't. Harassing someone when they've already said 'no' is not on.

Thankfully it looks as though the final decision has been taken. The answer is 'no'. And the behaviour of the seller since the transaction took place only shows the wisdom of that decision.

Time to block.

It isn't very "kind" of the original owner and her family to try to guilt OP into giving the dog back. It wasn't easy for her to get the dog in the first place (long drive), and once you make up your mind to adopt a dog, you're already emotionally invested.

It's sad that the original owner is having regrets, but OP isn't being "unkind" to decide that she wants to stand by their deal. The dog is hers, now. Her children have bonded with it, as has she. Next time, if there is a next time, the original owner might think longer and harder before she makes such a big decision!

Block them all and enjoy your lovely doggy!

People were slagging the ex owner off for not doing all the proper checks, I was merely highlighting that perhaps the saintly op hadn’t done all her proper checks.

But you were making that up, @scubadive. You were highlighting a fiction.

Very little info has been posted, nobody has any real idea as to the ex owners situation, how good or bad she was as a dog owner. The op herself has stressed that she was a nice lady and has not suggested any poor treatment.

She admitted herself that she couldn't look after the dog properly, yet she wanted it back despite nothing in her situation having changed. And she hadn't managed to train it.

What was there to loose for op to hand the dog back and give this poor lady a second chance, that would have been the kind thing to do.

The dog has become OP's property. She has no obligation to hand it back. And what there was to lose was the dog's wellbeing - at best it would be thoroughly confused, at worst it would be going back to an owner who couldn't look after it properly.

The attitude on her has been very grabby, he’s mine now

Tell me, when you buy something for yourself, do you expect to keep it? And does that mean that you are being "very grabby, it's mine now" about it? Or are you just acting like a normal person?

It's perfectly simple, if you sell something to someone, you've transferred ownership, you have neither a legal nor a moral right to expect it to be returned to you.

I had to rehome one of my cats because he had become aggressive towards my DDs and I was concerned that he might do damage to one of their friends when they came to play. It wasn’t an easy thing to do. We all miss him, including my DDs!

We get updates on how he’s doing, with plenty of pics, and we’ll be arranging a visit at some point soon, now that lockdown restrictions are being lifted.

The new owner bonded with our cat straightaway, and he’s much better off where he is now, as a single cat who is being thoroughly spoiled! It would have been very bad of me to change my mind and tell her that I wanted the cat back. And the reasons for rehoming him were hardly going to change; it would have been the wrong decision for the cat as well.

Who ever can give the puppy the best home life should keep the dog!

Oh just ignore them.

@scubadive No I have nothing to do with this dog

Ok but you are definitely close to the lady who sold the dog. You (or tell your family and friends) need to stop harassing OP. The original owner’s circumstances have not changed so who is to say she won’t sell the dog again a couple of months down the line when she’s bored of the dog again? You sound like a toddler having a tantrum - “IT’S NOT FAIR!” Haha.

@scubadive how can you think the OP should send a dog back to an owner who:

1. Didnt house train it by their own admission
2. Was so desperate to get rid of it that they took £200 less
3. Didnt bother to get the home it was going to checked to see if it was suitable
4. Has passed on the OPs number to others which has enabled them to harass her
5. Is now stomping her foot like a petulant Verruca Salt type "I want the dog back NOW!"

The immaturity of the previous owner SURELY you can see does not mean they are capable of looking after a dog

Nope don't give the dog back, in 9 months the previous owner couldn't be bothered to house train the dog, that's just lazy ownership.
She decided to sell him, was happy with the price and now changed her mind, tough luck. Whose to say in a week or so she might get bored again of the dog.
You can give it a happy and loving home, that is all that matters.
I would say if you receive any more messages you will be contacting the police for harrasment.

OP, initially I thought you were pretty mean to not allow her to change her mind. You certainly have the legal right to keep the dog, but it felt harsh.

But then you said that she had had the puppy for 9 months and hadn't house trained it, and I think you rescued that poor dog from a home where it was not well looked after.

Block their numbers, no more contact.
Enjoy your dog.

[quote BRB2021]@scubadive how can you think the OP should send a dog back to an owner who:

1. Didnt house train it by their own admission
2. Was so desperate to get rid of it that they took £200 less
3. Didnt bother to get the home it was going to checked to see if it was suitable
4. Has passed on the OPs number to others which has enabled them to harass her
5. Is now stomping her foot like a petulant Verruca Salt type "I want the dog back NOW!"

The immaturity of the previous owner SURELY you can see does not mean they are capable of looking after a dog[/quote]

1. Her reason for selling him was he would be home alone all day and hasn't said that would change

I feel sorry for the previous owner but am happy for the dog who (by the previous owner's own admissions) now has a much better chance of a happy life.

OP - of course you are doing the right thing. Your new dog is now safe. Sadly the previous owner is likely to repeat this cycle and another dog will be neglected in the future.

I feel sorry for the previous owner.

I can't. She's a flake. And one apparently willing to turn nasty the minute someone doesn't capitulate to her sudden changes in temperament.

IMO, no matter how old she is, she has a lot of growing up to do before she's ready to assume responsibility for an animal that is 100% dependent on her. Lord knows how her children have turned out. But this thread gives a clue.