Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To let my dog bark for an extra half hour even though the neighbour was already annoyed

484 replies

Candlestand · 17/04/2021 06:16

I have 2 dogs, DH usually takes them to work so Mon-Fri they're never here during the day. Due to a bit of excess faffing yesterday morning he forgot them. Normally he puts them in the dog box in the car and sorts out DD and they all head off to nursery then work but somehow yesterday he just forgot he hadn't already put them in the car and I got a text from DH to tell me the dogs were still in the garden. Fine. I'm up in my office, WFH, the back door is open as it was such a nice day, they can mooch in and out as they please and we'll just walk them tonight instead.
I work for the local authority and we've had a nasty incident occur with a safeguarding issue for a child and I was part of back to back meetings so I never even went down for a cup of tea. I'm then in a meeting that I have been volunteered as minute taker for and there are over 20 people in this meeting and that's when my neighbour starts banging on my door. Initially I ignore him thinking it's a delivery and I can't leave this meeting but he is now practically pounding my door down so I race to the other room to open the window to ask them to go away whatever it is and he starts swearing that the dogs are barking and its really annoying. I shout down that I'm sorry but I'm in a meeting and I will sort them out as soon as I'm out of it. I can see he's furious and he storms off still swearing but the meeting is still going on without me and I have to be in it. I'm now vaguely aware that my younger dog is barking because it's been brought to my attention but honestly I just hadn't noticed before because it had been such a busy morning so I don't know how long they had been barking for. I didn't want to disrupt the meeting by asking for a break because there was a lot going on in it and we were, I hoped, almost finished but it turned out we were still going half an hour later before the meeting actually finished and because I'm now aware of it I can hear the dog still barking on and off for that time.
The thing is, we have a big garden and they don't come in when called straight away because it becomes a game to them so although me being out in the garden with them stopped the barking it takes me over 5 minutes to get them to come into the house (which I knew it would and why I didn't want to stop in the middle of a very large meeting to chase around my garden for ages). I appreciate it must have been annoying and I could see my neighbours over our fence so when I could go get them I apologised properly and tried to explain that I couldn't leave the meeting to come and get them and they were furious with me and said I was ruining their day. They are retired and are always in their garden. My dog was actually barking at their dog who was sat with them and my little dog could smell him, the older one wasn't actually barking. I tried to explain that he was just excited by their dog and if they had taken their dog in, he would have stopped barking but this just made them angrier (I meant it to try and break the tension as a discussion rather than a criticism of them, though clearly I misjudged how to say that) as they said why shouldn't their dog be allowed outside when he's being well behaved. I apologised again and just got back to chasing the dogs into the house and went back to work.

I appreciate it was annoying but I'm not sure they needed to be quite so angry. It was the middle of the day, this never normally happens at all because the dogs are not here during the week and at the weekend we're both able to be much more atuned to them if one of them starts barking at another dog or a squirrel or something and it has never been an issue before. We live rurally so other than the house on the other side of our neighbours theres no one else to be upset by the barking.
WIBU to put work before my neighbours enjoyment of their garden for half an hour?

OP posts:
TomorrowsPrincess · 17/04/2021 11:42

@Candlestand
You are NOT a bad owner for leaving your dog to bark!
What is the matter with all of you?? A dog barks?? It's only us humans that have decided it's annoying! For a dog, it's completely normal.
Of course you take care of your dogs, they are free to go in and out of your home whenever they like. Don't listen to the ones who are saying otherwise.
It was 30mins out of your neighbours lives that their poor ears had to hear a dog doing what a dog does!! It barks!!!
Get a grip people.
OP, you were most definitely not being unreasonable! I'd say your neighbour was aggressive and abusive for hammering in your door and swearing!

Roszie · 17/04/2021 11:45

Glad you've sorted it OP. Have a good weekend.

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 17/04/2021 11:47

It was 30mins out of your neighbours lives that their poor ears had to hear a dog doing what a dog does!!

I read the OP as an additional 30mins after she'd been alerted to the problem by her neighbours. It was the length of a morning/meeting before that time.

nokidshere · 17/04/2021 11:50

It was 30mins out of your neighbours lives that their poor ears had to hear a dog doing what a dog does!! It barks!!!

No, it was an extra 30 mins after they had complained. We don't know how long it had been before they complained.

Rara1968 · 17/04/2021 11:55

I get were your coming from but dogs that are barking should be bought in straight away. Next time, put them inside if you can’t see to them.

marchishere · 17/04/2021 12:04

As a one off I can't see this as a terrible thing.

Yes annoying for the neighbours at the time, but they know it's not normal for you so I would've expected them to display more give and take.

If I was your neighbour I would just have gone in the house if the dog barking was annoying me.

No ones perfect and neighbourly life would be more harmonious if people cut each other a bit more slack.

category12 · 17/04/2021 12:12

[quote TomorrowsPrincess]@Candlestand
You are NOT a bad owner for leaving your dog to bark!
What is the matter with all of you?? A dog barks?? It's only us humans that have decided it's annoying! For a dog, it's completely normal.
Of course you take care of your dogs, they are free to go in and out of your home whenever they like. Don't listen to the ones who are saying otherwise.
It was 30mins out of your neighbours lives that their poor ears had to hear a dog doing what a dog does!! It barks!!!
Get a grip people.
OP, you were most definitely not being unreasonable! I'd say your neighbour was aggressive and abusive for hammering in your door and swearing! [/quote]
No, dog owners shouldn't just let their dogs bark cos that's "what dogs do" Hmm - they can be trained not to bark all the time, and they should be brought in if they're being a noise nuisance.

Operasinger · 17/04/2021 12:20

@Grumblesigh

The only thing you should do differently is to never, ever post about a dog on Mumsnet.

On here, if your dog is not actively pulling a drowning child from a river, then they are a menace to society.

Some dogs are a menace to society! That’s not the dog’s fault, it’s the entitled twats who own them.

I have a dog. She doesn’t bark in the garden, she doesn’t jump up at strangers, she doesn’t bite anyone, I clear her shit up. It’s not rocket science, it’s training and being considerate towards others.

MsTSwift · 17/04/2021 12:25

As a non dog owner we would have eye rolled and slagged you off between ourselves but wouldn’t complain for a one off.

novaissuper · 17/04/2021 12:27

My previous neighbours kids were so noisy, I would have told them where to go if they loaned about my dog barking. It's the middle of the day, they are being unreasonable to complain about noise.

MrsAmaretto · 17/04/2021 12:32

I think the problem for your neighbours has been the length of time your dogs were barking - how many hours was it from the dogs being in the garden to your neighbour hammering on your door?

Grumblesigh · 17/04/2021 12:33

@Operasinger It’s not rocket science, it’s training and being considerate towards others.
Now don't do yourself down, saying it's not hard being a walking example of perfect dog ownership. You sound super special. We all thank you.

Operasinger · 17/04/2021 12:37

[quote Grumblesigh]@Operasinger It’s not rocket science, it’s training and being considerate towards others.
Now don't do yourself down, saying it's not hard being a walking example of perfect dog ownership. You sound super special. We all thank you.[/quote]
Nothing super special! Just training and being considerate to others.

Why the idea of that sort of behaviour elicits such a sarcastic response, is baffling.

DrChrisWhitty · 17/04/2021 12:41

Yep, I think that's enough mn for me for a while. All the perfect people on here that get incensed/outraged/shake with rage because a dog barked. Where do you all live that you expect complete silence from surrounding neighbours and never allow anyone to make a mistake? I listened to a lady hammering on my neighbours door at midnight last night, calling her cunt, smack rat, etc. I'm still waiting for the chocolates/flowers/wine and grovelling apology. Lots of addiction problems and anti social behaviour round these 'ere parts. How I wish my biggest neighbour problem was a small barking dog Grin

You are not a bad dog owner op, people just love to stick the knife in online. (but wouldn't utter a squeak in real life)

Operasinger · 17/04/2021 12:42

It’s worrying that advocating reasonable, considerate behaviour, appears to be wrong in some way.

Is the preferred option these days, for us all to behave like self entitled twats? Is that what we must aspire to?

GreenSlide · 17/04/2021 12:46

What an over reaction from them, I wouldn't be getting them any sodding wine. It's not like the dogs are left to bark morning noon and night.

Crocidura · 17/04/2021 12:53

@Operasinger

It’s worrying that advocating reasonable, considerate behaviour, appears to be wrong in some way.

Is the preferred option these days, for us all to behave like self entitled twats? Is that what we must aspire to?

No, just that in some people's opinion, the self entitled twats in this scenario are the neighbours, not the OP.
Brusselsprouts21 · 17/04/2021 12:54

I'm slightly worried the OP is going to take drastic action due to the harsh replies from you all. This has happened ONCE. It shouldn't be made into this big deal and for people to insinuate the OP is a bad owner. I think there was enough apologies made by the OP that i think now the neighbors are slightly inconsiderate. Wish i could meet all of you perfect dog owners here Confused

Erkrie · 17/04/2021 12:57

No, just that in some people's opinion, the self entitled twats in this scenario are the neighbours, not the OP

I agree with this. If the dog was barking all the time it would be a problem. But this was a one off. Tbh if it was my neighbour and that was happening as a one off, I would be more concerned about the neighbour and if something had happened to them.

Creamcustards · 17/04/2021 12:59

YWNBU about the meeting, but YABU about the dogs in general, you need to train them.

FleetwoodRaincoat · 17/04/2021 13:00

This is why I have so little time for dog owners. Just because you don't notice your dog barking you think it doesn't matter. Barking dogs can make me see red in seconds. It's a horrible noise and nobody else should have to listen to it.

murbblurb · 17/04/2021 13:02

all who think it is reasonable to leave a dog to bark - I'm happy to shut you in a room with one for even 'just' 30 mins and see how you like it.

The sound is incredibly annoying. Keep the dogs with you if they bark when left alone. You bought the things, your problem.

or pay for daycare.

OverTheRainbow88 · 17/04/2021 13:05

@murbblurb

It was once, a one off, a mistake.

Naticus · 17/04/2021 13:06

I absolutely adore dogs, when next door leave theirs barking in the garden it makes me feel murderous.
YABVU

Cornettoninja · 17/04/2021 13:06

@Erkrie

No, just that in some people's opinion, the self entitled twats in this scenario are the neighbours, not the OP

I agree with this. If the dog was barking all the time it would be a problem. But this was a one off. Tbh if it was my neighbour and that was happening as a one off, I would be more concerned about the neighbour and if something had happened to them.

I agree too.

I have a really low tolerance for other peoples noise and as much as this would almost certainly annoy me I wouldn’t dream of kicking up a fuss over one morning.

We’ve managed to live next to avid DIYer’s for the last decade despite moving around a fair bit and have run the gauntlet from those who do it at antisocial hours to those who’ve taken on a massive project themselves meaning months and months of hammering and drilling. Never once has it occurred to me to start a row with someone over it despite calling them very colourful names in private and banging the odd wall back. It’s not hard to just be a bit tolerant of other peoples lives.