To let my dog bark for an extra half hour even though the neighbour was already annoyed

[Candlestand]

I have 2 dogs, DH usually takes them to work so Mon-Fri they're never here during the day. Due to a bit of excess faffing yesterday morning he forgot them. Normally he puts them in the dog box in the car and sorts out DD and they all head off to nursery then work but somehow yesterday he just forgot he hadn't already put them in the car and I got a text from DH to tell me the dogs were still in the garden. Fine. I'm up in my office, WFH, the back door is open as it was such a nice day, they can mooch in and out as they please and we'll just walk them tonight instead.
I work for the local authority and we've had a nasty incident occur with a safeguarding issue for a child and I was part of back to back meetings so I never even went down for a cup of tea. I'm then in a meeting that I have been volunteered as minute taker for and there are over 20 people in this meeting and that's when my neighbour starts banging on my door. Initially I ignore him thinking it's a delivery and I can't leave this meeting but he is now practically pounding my door down so I race to the other room to open the window to ask them to go away whatever it is and he starts swearing that the dogs are barking and its really annoying. I shout down that I'm sorry but I'm in a meeting and I will sort them out as soon as I'm out of it. I can see he's furious and he storms off still swearing but the meeting is still going on without me and I have to be in it. I'm now vaguely aware that my younger dog is barking because it's been brought to my attention but honestly I just hadn't noticed before because it had been such a busy morning so I don't know how long they had been barking for. I didn't want to disrupt the meeting by asking for a break because there was a lot going on in it and we were, I hoped, almost finished but it turned out we were still going half an hour later before the meeting actually finished and because I'm now aware of it I can hear the dog still barking on and off for that time.
The thing is, we have a big garden and they don't come in when called straight away because it becomes a game to them so although me being out in the garden with them stopped the barking it takes me over 5 minutes to get them to come into the house (which I knew it would and why I didn't want to stop in the middle of a very large meeting to chase around my garden for ages). I appreciate it must have been annoying and I could see my neighbours over our fence so when I could go get them I apologised properly and tried to explain that I couldn't leave the meeting to come and get them and they were furious with me and said I was ruining their day. They are retired and are always in their garden. My dog was actually barking at their dog who was sat with them and my little dog could smell him, the older one wasn't actually barking. I tried to explain that he was just excited by their dog and if they had taken their dog in, he would have stopped barking but this just made them angrier (I meant it to try and break the tension as a discussion rather than a criticism of them, though clearly I misjudged how to say that) as they said why shouldn't their dog be allowed outside when he's being well behaved. I apologised again and just got back to chasing the dogs into the house and went back to work.

I appreciate it was annoying but I'm not sure they needed to be quite so angry. It was the middle of the day, this never normally happens at all because the dogs are not here during the week and at the weekend we're both able to be much more atuned to them if one of them starts barking at another dog or a squirrel or something and it has never been an issue before. We live rurally so other than the house on the other side of our neighbours theres no one else to be upset by the barking.
WIBU to put work before my neighbours enjoyment of their garden for half an hour?

@TedMullins

I can see I’m in a minority but I think your neighbour was being a dick. This was a one off occurrence, yes it’s annoying but it’s hardly like the neighbour has to put up with this every day. Their dog shouldn’t have to be banished from its own garden, no, but they could have improved the situation by taking it inside or moving it away from the fence/wherever it was getting the attention of your dog. It sounds like your dog does need more training but as you haven’t subjected them to this every day their reaction sounds completely disproportionate. Don’t go round with gifts! Just leave it and make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Exactly this. We had a slightly different situation where our ndn got her dad's dog when he died and this dog was left indoors and barked and cried whenever she went out sometimes for 9 hours at a time, constant barking not on and off. We left it for weeks because she told us th e situation and obviously the dog was stressed, it was quite distressing as well as annoying to hear it. Eventually I put a note through asking if she could maybe get a dog walker or put him in kennels. She reacted very badly and started to make as much noise as she could and eventually I saw her and she told me "you'll be pleased to hear dog is ill and having to be put to sleep so he won't bother you any more". I was mortified but don't know what else I could have done. Neighbourly relations have never recovered. As a one off I could have lived with it.

OP HAS APOLOGISED

Why do people keep repeating "you should apologise"?

How many times do you have to apologise?

If this is the first time this has happened your neighbours need to get a life and I would tell them so. If it had happened several times then their loud banging and whinging would have been justified. You have said sorry and Id leave it at that. Me, I would not have left the meeting for a random caller.

Well this escalated quickly.
Jesus op it's just mumsnet.
Nobody was there that day except you.
You've not ruined anyone's life.
Plenty of people have dogs and lock them indoors while they work.
You just spend your breaks with them while you work from home is how you'll cope if your dh can't take them to work.

How bizarre.

If you're being serious and this is your actual real reaction after posting on this ridiculous site, I suggest a chat with your dh and check to see if you're feeling ok.
This mumsnet.
Where everyone is a perfect non yelling, perfect pet owning, magical rose smelling poopers.

Step away from the crazy x

I think the main problem is that many dog owners just don't hear their dogs.

We've had issues with dogs barking constantly for long periods of time. Sometimes they wake us up, sometimes it's just constant background noise but it's always annoying. I'm always left thinking how on earth the owners can stand to listen to the noise all the time when it drives me mad. Most of the time it's not coming from a house close to me and it's disruptive, how bad must it be for the people who live closer?

Even my very lovely, very close friend next door insists that her dogs 'hardly ever' bark. They really really do! I haven't fallen out with any neighbours about barking dogs but I have been known to yell 'shut those fucking dogs up' out of the window occasionally when it's been very prolonged. Because we live on an estate it's not always easy to tell where the barking is coming from because the sound carries so much.

I think you were at fault OP but you've apologised and hopefully will make sure it doesn't happen again.

@OneFootintheRave

My god I can't believe some of the replies you are getting here OP but the dog related threads do tend to go this way.

No one has died, the dog barked for 30 mins. If that's the extent of it and it was a one off then really? A bit annoying yes but to hammer on your neighbour's door, swearing? If they were actually swearing then they lost the moral high ground.

Just work on the training and move on.

No that isn't what happened. The dogs barked all day and when the neighbours complained the OP left the dogs barking for a further 30 minutes because it wasn't convenient for her to control her dogs. She knew for a fact that left in the garden the dogs would bark, but she did that anyway - she says that she knew they barked at everything outside, including the neighbours (well behaved, not barking) dog. You do not throw your dogs in the garden, knowing how they behave, put on your headphones and proceed to annoy everyone else because you can't be arsed to control and look after your own dogs.

And that is coming from someone who owns dogs. I would be mortified if I ignored the needs of my dogs and neighbours and that had to be brought to my attention - but if it was brought to my attention, I sure as hell wouldn't proceed to do nothing about it. That is plane rude and ignorant.

This is not about whether people like or don't like dogs - it is about the fact that the neighbours have a right to the quiet enjoyment of their garden with their own dog without someone else's dogs barking incessantly at them, then being ignored when you complain.

I understand that you were doing important and valuable work OP (genuinely have much respect for people working in your field and all it involves). It must have been tricky in the middle of phone calls.

But I have to say that barking dogs really set me on edge when it’s more than a quick response to the postman etc. Sets off my anxiety and makes me feel extremely stressed. That’s the case even for dogs not directly next door, even a few doors down or the garden behind I can still hear it and it affects me. Not that I’d ever say anything... So bear in mind that it may well not just have been the neighbour that complained that also suffered from the constant barking noise. There could have been several others in nearby houses or gardens feeling fed up and stressed by it too. People should be able to relax in their homes we from excessive and continuous noise like that.

Can I just ask though - how do you know the dogs were barking for 30 mins? In the OP the dogs were barking before the neighbour knocked, then the dogs barked for a further 30 mins. Unless the neighbours have form for being dicks then I would assume the dog was barking for quite a long time before the neighbour knocked.

As its a one of I personally wouldnt make such a big thing of it were I the neighbour, however we dont know what they were doing with their day or what they have going on. If you're asking them to be mindful of how much you have going on, then you need to mindful that you dont know what other people are going through too and cannot assume they were sitting outside without a care in the world.

It does sound like your dogs need rather a lot more training, and you need a backup plan in case this happens again. As youve only just gone back after maternity then DH hasnt had the dogs and dc together for very long, you might need a better back up plan for if he forgets again.

I do also think your later replies here come across as a very childish reaction. You're not just agreeing with posters, you are trying to inflate a reaction that is more on your side, probably subconscious but might be something to think about if this is how you deal with conflict and people not agreeing with

@Lockheart

OP HAS APOLOGISED

Why do people keep repeating "you should apologise"?

How many times do you have to apologise?

Just the once, sincerely and without making excuses as to how it wasn't really their fault and how they couldn't possibly have done anything differently. And then actually doing something about the problem.

Your neighbours are intolerant grudge-holders. So are most of the people on this thead. Ignore the haters, it's the only way.

Your dog barked. It was inconvenient for your neighbours. You sorted it out when you could and apologised. It was a one-off.

Move on.

I think your neighbours were being intolerant for a one off occasion.
I can see you were in an awkward position and it isnt possible to leave an important meeting when wfh.
If DH forgets them again just make sure they are inside with you while you work.

Agree with @Grumblesigh

Life is noisy, neighbours were OTT, and your apology was enough. Please don't let people on this thread get you down, some posters are as OTT as your neighbours.

You should have left the door open for them to mooch in and out...what if they were barking cos something was up? Anyways out of intrest what do they do when your dh is working stay in the crate? I think that's the bigger issue here.

Christ that escalated quickly.

OP, you don’t have to get rid of the bloody dogs. Just supervise them going out when you are working from home with them. You already said the stop barking when told.

You’ve apologised for your behaviour to the neighbour, you’ve told us its the exception rather than the norm. Stop whipping yourself and just deal with it. I’d think you a shitty dog owner for getting rid of loved pets because you didn’t want to watch them in the garden.

YABU. If you cant manage your dogs considerately in a residential area you shouldn't make the decision to have them tbh.

I understand that circumstances felt beyond your control, but your dogs and their behaviour are 100% your responsibility and no one else should have to be inconvenienced by them because you have a busy day.

YANBU It was a one off, dog’s bark. If it was happening every day ywbu. Your dog doesn’t sound feral and if they’re in your secure garden they shouldn’t require constant supervision . Your neighbours reacted very angrily to a one off though, that would concern me more!

I tried to train them but what can I do when working full time?

Surely you done a little basic research before getting a dog? There's plenty of information online that explains the cost, time and commitment required.

I was feeling a little sorry for you at the beginning of this thread but that comment quickly changed that.

Now that you already do have the animals it's your responsibility to follow through with their training. Find a local class, you'll be glad you did.

It's fine, I've sorted it

The only thing you should do differently is to never, ever post about a dog on Mumsnet.

On here, if your dog is not actively pulling a drowning child from a river, then they are a menace to society.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend Op.

Put yesterday and this thread behind you.

YABVU if you didn’t even consider that leaving dogs to fend for themselves in a garden wouldn’t cause annoyance to your neighbours

You say that you were not even aware of their barking until it was pointed out. That is why people are saying YABU.

But your reaction to this thread is over the top. It is about coming to a solution not having a temper tantrum

How do the dogs behave in your husband's workplace? I assume they are not in the cages all day.

There is no need to get rid of the dogs and quite unfair for them to get rid of them. I think that you need to get a trainer help. You do sound like an inexperienced owner. You do need to sincerely apologise to your neighbours. Reassure them that it was a one off case of poor judgement that will not be repeated. Consider putting some kind of hedging etc inside your boundary if the sight of their dog is causing yours to bark.

Totally agree @scubadive.
Especially about men on dog walks (and a lot of men in general) plus the way the neighbour approached OP and escalated the situation.
It amazes me how many people are using this thread as an excuse for a pile on against the OP

I found your humorous approach to the cries for your blood brilliant @Candlestand,good on you.

Once again agree with @Grumblesigh

Some dog owners on MN are perfect. Their dogs never ever bark and the owners are 100% considerate 100% of the time. And if not they run round with flowers and a hamper as apology.

I'm a dog owner and I'm far from perfect. My dogs bark sometimes. They're not feral, just happy.

Please don't let some of these posters get you down. They're as OTT as your neighbours.