Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 13 14 15 ··· 19 20

Original poster

To let my dog bark for an extra half hour even though the neighbour was already annoyed

484 replies

Candlestand · 17/04/2021 06:16

I have 2 dogs, DH usually takes them to work so Mon-Fri they're never here during the day. Due to a bit of excess faffing yesterday morning he forgot them. Normally he puts them in the dog box in the car and sorts out DD and they all head off to nursery then work but somehow yesterday he just forgot he hadn't already put them in the car and I got a text from DH to tell me the dogs were still in the garden. Fine. I'm up in my office, WFH, the back door is open as it was such a nice day, they can mooch in and out as they please and we'll just walk them tonight instead.
I work for the local authority and we've had a nasty incident occur with a safeguarding issue for a child and I was part of back to back meetings so I never even went down for a cup of tea. I'm then in a meeting that I have been volunteered as minute taker for and there are over 20 people in this meeting and that's when my neighbour starts banging on my door. Initially I ignore him thinking it's a delivery and I can't leave this meeting but he is now practically pounding my door down so I race to the other room to open the window to ask them to go away whatever it is and he starts swearing that the dogs are barking and its really annoying. I shout down that I'm sorry but I'm in a meeting and I will sort them out as soon as I'm out of it. I can see he's furious and he storms off still swearing but the meeting is still going on without me and I have to be in it. I'm now vaguely aware that my younger dog is barking because it's been brought to my attention but honestly I just hadn't noticed before because it had been such a busy morning so I don't know how long they had been barking for. I didn't want to disrupt the meeting by asking for a break because there was a lot going on in it and we were, I hoped, almost finished but it turned out we were still going half an hour later before the meeting actually finished and because I'm now aware of it I can hear the dog still barking on and off for that time.
The thing is, we have a big garden and they don't come in when called straight away because it becomes a game to them so although me being out in the garden with them stopped the barking it takes me over 5 minutes to get them to come into the house (which I knew it would and why I didn't want to stop in the middle of a very large meeting to chase around my garden for ages). I appreciate it must have been annoying and I could see my neighbours over our fence so when I could go get them I apologised properly and tried to explain that I couldn't leave the meeting to come and get them and they were furious with me and said I was ruining their day. They are retired and are always in their garden. My dog was actually barking at their dog who was sat with them and my little dog could smell him, the older one wasn't actually barking. I tried to explain that he was just excited by their dog and if they had taken their dog in, he would have stopped barking but this just made them angrier (I meant it to try and break the tension as a discussion rather than a criticism of them, though clearly I misjudged how to say that) as they said why shouldn't their dog be allowed outside when he's being well behaved. I apologised again and just got back to chasing the dogs into the house and went back to work.

I appreciate it was annoying but I'm not sure they needed to be quite so angry. It was the middle of the day, this never normally happens at all because the dogs are not here during the week and at the weekend we're both able to be much more atuned to them if one of them starts barking at another dog or a squirrel or something and it has never been an issue before. We live rurally so other than the house on the other side of our neighbours theres no one else to be upset by the barking.
WIBU to put work before my neighbours enjoyment of their garden for half an hour?

OP posts:

Erkrie · 17/04/2021 10:14

The levels of outrage on this thread are ridiculous.

Yep. The over invested frothing rage is really quite something to see.

Cornettoninja · 17/04/2021 10:14

I don't see how I can actually address these issues when we usually rely on DH taking them to work but what if that couldn't happen

Is it worth getting them used to being at home a couple of days a week, ideally with a dog Walker visit. I’d be happier knowing they were used to that set up if you needed it.

category12 · 17/04/2021 10:15

@Candlestand

I'm not being sarcastic. I asked for opinions and I got them. I just wasn't expecting so many people to highlight that actually what I thought was about a relatively low level issue between me and the neighbour was actually something so much worse because I missed the point that actually I can't look after my dogs properly and work. We depend on DH taking them to work and that has been working but one occasion where that couldn't happen and everything went wrong so how can I make things right if it is true that actually I can't care for my dogs and keep working. I've only just returned from work from mat leave so this is all new to me, working from home wasn't something I ever did before and I don't see how I can actually address these issues when we usually rely on DH taking them to work but what if that couldn't happen?

You just make sure the dogs are sorted (inside where they can't get themselves into bother) before going into long meetings and check on them in breaks. And they can wander in and out when you're able to keep an eye/ear on what they're doing. It's not rocket science.

And you and your dh get their recall sorted with training instead of making it a game not to come in when they're told.

scubadive · 17/04/2021 10:16

@Candlestand please don’t let an intolerant neighbour affect you so much.

When we move house , our neighbours were both in their 80’s we got on very well, had them for dinner. Worth noting we bought the house from a single lady in here 80’s, both had lived there for over 40 years and older people often don’t like change.

We built an extension, not on their side, we made lots of changes to accommodate as we so wanted our good relationship to continue. We have a steep garden and altered the height and depth of our terraced lawn at their request and altered our bedroom window to have the height, the neighbour, over 6ft tall even came into our build to check what could be seen out of the window and agree the dimensions (we had planning permission for a much larger window). Less than a year after we finished they decided to move house to a bungalow and we our left with a lawn and a window we didn’t want.

You must live your life how you see fit and rely on your own judgement as to what is right and wrong. Do not be bullied.

OneFootintheRave · 17/04/2021 10:22

My god I can't believe some of the replies you are getting here OP but the dog related threads do tend to go this way.

No one has died, the dog barked for 30 mins. If that's the extent of it and it was a one off then really? A bit annoying yes but to hammer on your neighbour's door, swearing? If they were actually swearing then they lost the moral high ground.

Just work on the training and move on.

OldEvilOwl · 17/04/2021 10:25

I don't understand why it takes you more than 5 minutes to get them to come in from the garden. Get a tin of little dog treats and shake it while you call them. They get a treat as a reward. My puppy has learnt this in a couple of days

KurtWilde · 17/04/2021 10:30

Dogs bark. Shocker. Mine went to puppy training and still bark if they hear a cat or a squirrel or whatever.

OP you apologised, it's unlikely to happen again, your neighbours are being OTT.

Everyone on MN is a perfect dog owner did you not know that? We all rush found with bottles of wine if our dogs make the noise that dogs make occasionally 😂

Work on your recall a bit and put it behind you.

Floralnomad · 17/04/2021 10:31

@Candlestand it sounds like you have badly trained , noisy dogs and think that you are more important than your neighbours I’m just glad I don’t live next door to you .

WellLarDeDar · 17/04/2021 10:31

Well you obviously didn't handle the situation very well but your neighbors could have been a bit less ragey as it was a one off. Take your dog's to obedience classes, DH and I both work long hours but we both found the time to take our dogs to classes when we first adopted them. Don't make excuses just sort your dog's training out. MN needs to chills a bit. A lot of the responses are a bit over dramatic.

Crocidura · 17/04/2021 10:33

This thread is quite an insight into how horrible some people are. I can hear a dog barking right now. Plus someone's children are outside, playing and making a noise. There are also people having a conversation on the street outside my house. A kid just made a noise going past on a skateboard. Maybe I should start knocking on doors and swearing at people. 🙄

CatherineMorland · 17/04/2021 10:33

OP you were definitely unreasonable to leave your dogs barking, but it was a one off and it sounds like you were in the thick of it.

Lesson learned, leave a bottle of wine on their doorstep. Tomorrow’s another day.

BiteyShark · 17/04/2021 10:34

@Candlestand

If your DH can't take them to work and you can't leave your meetings to stop them being a nuisance or walk them then you do what a lot of us do that work and pay for dog walkers or daycare.

KihoBebiluPute · 17/04/2021 10:35

we usually rely on DH taking them to work but what if that couldn't happen?

Obviously this incident demonstrates that you need a better backup plan than just letting them run free in the garden while you work. You now know that is not an option. There are dozens of other options that you should explore now and get the dogs used to doing at least once a week (eg paid dogwalker) so that in the event that your DH can't take them, you have a known alternative that can be called upon in an emergency.

LolaButt · 17/04/2021 10:37

It is frustrating to live with constant barking. I’ve found a lot of dog owners become a bit deaf to the noise of their pet (not on purpose).

It could be that your dogs make a continuous low level noise and the incident yesterday caused the neighbours to snap.

EeeByeGummieBear · 17/04/2021 10:40

I'm a little at some of the nasty comments towards the OP regarding her ability to look after her dogs. She was involved in a safeguarding meeting. Can you imagine the posts in here if the post had been about a cock- up in safeguarding a child because someone was sorting a dog out?
Not a great situation but a one off. We are allowed to make mistakes surely?

SandAndSea · 17/04/2021 10:40

I haven't read the full thread but, I can appreciate that you were in a difficult situation. That said, if your dogs had good recall, you could have just gone and called them in quickly. Good recall is really important. For that reason, I think yabu.

Operasinger · 17/04/2021 10:44

@Lockheart

doubt it given that the neighbours are retired

Does that make it okay then?

Operasinger · 17/04/2021 10:47

What every single dog owner should know, is that no one should have to put up with other people’s dog’s barking, chasing, jumping up, biting etc.

I speak as a dog owner.

Twirl96 · 17/04/2021 10:48

Everyone is so harsh on here! It’s fine for kids to scream in gardens but a dog can’t bark?! Considering you never have your dogs at home I find it silly your neighbour got so angry so quickly as it was a one off!? Shit happens just make sure next time the dogs don’t bark for too long 🙄😂

iMatter · 17/04/2021 10:48

Big apology (dog treats and flowers) and an explanation with a promise it will never happen again

Charlieiscool · 17/04/2021 10:50

You need to apologise to your neighbour. Other people need to work too and even if they don’t they are entitled to some quiet. You were incredibly selfish and inconsiderate.

JustLyra · 17/04/2021 10:51

@Candlestand

Your problem was that your dogs were out of earshot of you and causing a disturbance for other people.

All you had to do was settle them securely in the house before your meeting (assuming they don’t constantly bark in the house). The only issue was that you left a young untrained dog in a situation where he was pretty much guaranteed to be wound up.

You made a bad choice, and you compounded that by suggesting that the neighbours should have taken their dog in, but why on earth would you jump to getting rid of the dogs before dog walkers or doggy day care?

JustLyra · 17/04/2021 10:51

@Twirl96

Kids screaming in gardens get absolutely no tolerance on here so that’s nonsense

Operasinger · 17/04/2021 10:52

@Twirl96

It’s not okay for kids to scream in the garden.

0gfhty · 17/04/2021 10:52

I feel sorry.for your neighbour's. I would be round there apologising to them. I also wonder about the times that the.dogs aren't with your husband 9-5, are they out in the garden then too? I became very depressed living next door to barking dogs, it's really not nice at all

Flip

1 2 ··· 13 14 15 ··· 19 20