to believe the Mumsnet High Earners?

[LigPatin]

Every time there's a thread about earnings, there's always multiple posters who claim that most people on the thread must be inflating or plain lying about their salaries.

Whilst I recognise that people lie, especially on anonymous forums, I find it quite sad that people prefer to dismiss these posts as lies rather than take inspiration/education from them (or just not care).

I come from a poor background - we never had enough money to the point that food and electricity use was rationed. We weren't on the streets, but that was a looming possibility. We lived (mostly) within the midlands.

I fell into nannying as a career (having dreamed of being a primary school teacher) and my first job was in Kensington. The housekeeper had been gossiping about the rent on the house we worked in - it was £3k a WEEK. This was 2012-ish. I remember wondering how on Earth anyone could afford paying £200k+ a year on rent alone, when - in my mind - earning just £50k was amazingly rich.

I remember walking through Kensington and Knightsbridge and Chelsea and seeing thousands and thousands and thousands of these houses, all huge and grand and all presumably commanding similar rent or sale value than the one I worked in. They were all clearly lived in and used.

Perhaps it was arrogance, or naivety, but I figured that if there were enough people who could afford to pay £1k, £2k, £5k+ a week on rent (or buy million pound houses), then there must be a lot of money out there to be earned, and I couldn't see any reason as to why I couldn't find a way to get a share of that money.

That's sort of how I feel about these earning threads - hundreds of people are posting about their high salaries and instead of scoffing that they must be sad-sacks who hang out on Mumsnet to lie about their lifestyles - I think it's inspiring and encouraging to see so many women out there making amazing money and securing their futures.

FWIW - I was 21 back in Kensington, amazed at the £3k a week rent. I'm coming up to 30 now and my average yearly income is about £120k. I remind myself every day of how lucky I am, and how 21 year old me would have been incredulous. Though I'm, of course, absolutely nowhere near being able to rent a £3k a week house

@whataboutbob
I'm thinking the same. I'm now 6 years working in the NHS and wouldn't want to work anywhere else. I love my job and truly believe in the values of the NHS. As an AHP, I could work in the private sector, but I can't justify charging services that people can get for free.
I've moved around a bit to get to where I am but I'm back home with family and ready to start my own family with DH, and that's always been one of my goals.

One response - yawn!

Why would we be inspired by someone who posts a stealth boast on mn and sounds like a prick?

Rather than criticise and berate high earners, ask them questions about how they achieved such high wages if that is what you aspire to.

Which is a fab idea except when you get threads like this where the OP claims to want to inspire and motivated people but then disappears into a back hole leaving those who had questions just as clueless as before.

@KeepSmiling89 I am an AHP too. But I feel I could have gone further in terms of income, with a different mindset. My families are all public sector people and there’s no entrepreneurship/ self employed / private sector ethos. Frankly it scares me! However I am not knocking those who have prioritised earning more and have worked hard for it, as long obviously as it doesn’t involve ethically dubious work such as weapon trading, tobacco industry etc. Some I think is borderline such as oil industry . I think there can be a moral trade off sometimes ( don’t worry your conscience and take the money) .

@whataboutbob

I have to say as a lifetime NHS worker I’m finding this very interesting. Is a common thread the ability to spot an opportunity and willingness to move jobs as opportunities arise/ step out of your comfort zone and maybe be willing to relocate geographically ? Too late for me I have been very risk averse and not super money minded. But I’m thinking of my kids!

I think there's an element of this. There's nothing particularly special about my career path, degree, levels of ambition or dedication that got me here, I just looked at where the best chances were and arranged things to suit.

That did mean working freelance jobs, sometimes all hours, sometimes for lower pay than I'd have liked (for a better shot at good contacts or a particularly good portfolio piece) but I was also TTC at the time and the flexibility really worked in my favour. It meant being comfortable enough to ask for training, different responsibilities, and being comfortable with the idea that I may fail at this and in so doing, experience a setback.

It's not that "anyone can do what I have done!" as much as "there's nothing special about me that led me here."

Which is a fab idea except when you get threads like this where the OP claims to want to inspire and motivated people but then disappears into a back hole leaving those who had questions just as clueless as before.

That's my point too.

I can tell you if you want to earn 2m as a law firm partner you likely need to work for a top firm, work ridiculous hours, be very determined, go to a top uni, likely be privately educated & have invested parents.

I can't tell you how to go down that path if you're not already on it.

I fully agree with OP.
First of all, I don’t think that many people lie. Can someone explain what is the point of bragging anonymously? What would they get out of it?
Secondly, I live in London, all my kids are in private school so as many other families living in London. If you do the maths, you realise quickly that you can’t do that on a 100k salary unless parents are helping with school fees, you bought the house 30 years ago etc So there are indeed many, many people on 6 figures (and more!) salaries in London. In my industry (investment banking) they are very common and I’m sure it’s the same with a certain type of lawyers and consultants.
Thirdly, it is wrong to assume that being a high earner = working 80 hours a week = not having time to be on MN.
I have worked in the same job for 20 years (investment banking), started at £40k, I am now at >500k but the irony is that I can do the job in my sleep (as I am 20 years into the same job) and I work much less than 10-20 years ago (and am much less stressed!). My husband works a lot (more than me) but we have a lot of help at home so I actually have a lot of free time, hence I can spare some time for MN!

Teatri makes a germane point in saying that highly specialised jobs pay well because the client/employer is benefiting financially from her effort and skills.

In general, the more commonplace or less-skilled a job is, the lower the pay is. In most parts of the country, a supermarket checkout operator can be replaced quickly and cheaply, and trained within a short time, so there's no reason for retail staff to be paid highly.

Another few posts ago, someone commented that most parents don't have a sophisticated understanding of what jobs and work really exists outwith their personal knowledge and experience, so they suggest jobs and professions like teaching and nursing or accountancy and law, which offer a fairly limited earning ceiling. It's rare for management to be suggested, but although it's a catchall word, the range and scale of businesses and processes needing to be managed is infinitely varied.

I earn over 100k In my mid 30's but it's been a plan from age 12. I needed to get good enough gcse's to get to a levels to get to uni to choose a good career (which I had to change after a life changing injury) to progress and change jobs renegotiating salary regularly to get to this level. I came from a poor background however worked hard made decisions not to have children I have had confrontational meeting about my salary. I worked 12 hour days in my final year at university to enable me to get the grades and I work hard really hard in a job I have chosen because of the wages. So I would say most people could do it (my two sisters both have too) it isn't a 5year thing but something that requires real committment and my partner for example while I am sorting out pensions and learning more to earn more money has prioritised doing a lower paid job and watching TV each evening, again their choice but they own that decision.

I know quite a few million pound plus earning female lawyers and barristers, most were privately educated, most Oxbridge or top RG, most are childless. Like OP above said, you need the opportunities/privilege in place from early on to achieve this. I’m not one btw. I wasted my advantages but I’m happy enough.

At the moment I'm not working much as I'm caring for my son with additional needs but before that I was on a very high day rate in marketing. My partner is on a high salary in recruitment. We never talk about our salaries externally so not sure anyone would know. Even direct family we didn't say... Oh guess what mum I just made £130k this year. When people say I don't know anyone on over £100k, you can't always know... We both happen to work in a lucrative industry, I'm not patronising anyone by saying "oh it was just hard work!" Of course it isn't.

Thanks @gwenneh sounds like you need a plan and to be relatively single minded. I’ve basically drifted along since qualifying, going for jobs that interest me clinically but with little pay progression as I’ve not wanted to go into management ( the only real route to earning more in the NHS, and even then we’re talking circa £40000-60000) .

@netstaller

What I find annoying is no one posts their job title or even field, so they're not inspiring as there's no detail - it's usually just comes across if boasting "I earn150k per year and I'm 31". If people gave details, doesn't have to be identifying, that would be so much more inspiring and interesting!

I made £130k at 28 in gross income and other than corporation tax etc, I had low overheads. I was a marketing contractor in the tech industry.

@Lostlemuria we are led to believe that if you are a top barrister/ partner in a law firm you are walking all hours and outsourcing your childcare. Is this true?

@m0therofdragons

Why would we be inspired by someone who posts a stealth boast on mn and sounds like a prick?

why do you post something like this and make yourself sound like a prick?

@whataboutbob the partners & barristers I know work very very hard.

Tech is probably the best industry for high pay & lower stress.

Having said that I know doctors on 100k & a deputy head on 80k plus some teachers on 60k. I always get told I'm lying about how high their salaries are, the teachers also get paid time off for their dc nativity etc & get paid extra eg £30-40 an hour for easter schemes etc. Apparently that's a lie too 🤷🏻‍♀️

I know a partner in a top law firm. They earn millions per year but it’s really a 24/7. Of course you get holidays, but they are never ‘away’ from work ie. there will be conference calls. They were pretty much always working and if they need to work all night on a deal that’s what they do. They retire quite early. No one could do it without either a full time nanny or another sahp.

whataboutbob regarding your question about relocation and opportunity . Both DH and I relocated for educational and work purposes and then met whilst junior staff at a RG University, We are not really wealthy compared to some of DH friends, they all met whilst reading for their PhD degrees whilst at Cambridge in a science subject. Two went in to banking, one now lives in Japan. They command huge salaries and one certainty loves to brag. Neither is from a wealthy background. We have also relocated since married and will relocate again if needs be.

DH is from a well off English background, I’m from a slightly odd background. Basically immigrants that had very little, my ancestors were wealthy but lost it because of an aggressive regime they fled that ultimately directly and indirectly killed millions of people. I was brought up to never forget that. My siblings and I had hard work and study instilled in us in a way that was super tough.

My Brother went to America and studied away from his wife for 3 years. Seeing her once in that time. I worked almost full time hours whilst studying, you are not supposed to. That’s the kind of work we were prepared to do. Putting it above relationships and any kind of social life. My father died six years ago, immensely proud of all of us. One day I will be able to make good my promise to take his remains back to where he was born.

I don't think I've ever talked about my salery with any of my friends. I'm always amazed people seem to know how much all their friends earn. I could certainly hazard a rough guess at my friends incomes but it would be just that, a guess.

I was about to post this! Several posters have said they know people in RL who earn 6 figure salaries. I don’t doubt that at all but wonder how they know! I have some very close friends who I’ve known for 20-30 years, and with whom I’ve shared very intimate conversations about our relationships, our childhoods, our mental health issues etc...but I don’t know what any of them earn! I could guess based on their jobs and their lifestyles but I don’t think I’ve ever been part of a conversation in which someone disclosed their salary.

@waterlego

I don't think I've ever talked about my salery with any of my friends. I'm always amazed people seem to know how much all their friends earn. I could certainly hazard a rough guess at my friends incomes but it would be just that, a guess.

I was about to post this! Several posters have said they know people in RL who earn 6 figure salaries. I don’t doubt that at all but wonder how they know! I have some very close friends who I’ve known for 20-30 years, and with whom I’ve shared very intimate conversations about our relationships, our childhoods, our mental health issues etc...but I don’t know what any of them earn! I could guess based on their jobs and their lifestyles but I don’t think I’ve ever been part of a conversation in which someone disclosed their salary.

Im really glad it's not just me that has never had these conversations. I was honestly beginning to think I'd missed a memo where this was a totally normal conversation people frequently had with their friends and family.

@waterlego

I don't think I've ever talked about my salery with any of my friends. I'm always amazed people seem to know how much all their friends earn. I could certainly hazard a rough guess at my friends incomes but it would be just that, a guess.

I was about to post this! Several posters have said they know people in RL who earn 6 figure salaries. I don’t doubt that at all but wonder how they know! I have some very close friends who I’ve known for 20-30 years, and with whom I’ve shared very intimate conversations about our relationships, our childhoods, our mental health issues etc...but I don’t know what any of them earn! I could guess based on their jobs and their lifestyles but I don’t think I’ve ever been part of a conversation in which someone disclosed their salary.

I think some of the confidence comes from knowing the industries that people work in, e.g. if you have an understanding or firsthand knowledge of the finance industry, which can be very hierarchical, you'll be able to guess how much someone is paid based on how many years experience they have and what their job title is.