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AIBU?

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Original poster

Can parent paying CMS force me to pay back the money because he’s lost his job?

85 replies

Ostryga · 15/04/2021 20:18

Just found out today DD’s dad has lost his job and is stopping maintenance payments (week before he is due to pay!)

Apparently he lost his job in December and now seems to think that CMS are going to get me to pay back the money he has sent for Dd. Surely that isn’t right? Dd doesn’t suddenly become free because he’s not working!

I can weather the loss, but it is a blow and does make things tighter. I certainly can’t afford to pay him back.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 15/04/2021 20:20

I very much doubt you would be asked to pay anything back.

UCOforAC12 · 15/04/2021 20:20

A) a child costs the same regardless of his employment situation

B) You're/your child is not a bank to withdraw money from to tide him over when he's short.

froggybiby · 15/04/2021 20:21

Confused i am sure that is not the case. He has other helps he can rely on...I guess that they should reassess what he must pay.

Beeme29 · 15/04/2021 20:21

No I am pretty that will not happen and you will owe nothing. It is not your fault he didn’t inform the cms or discuss this with you when he lost his job months ago - so that’s on him!

itsgettingwierd · 15/04/2021 20:23

If he lost his job and he believed he didn't have to pay in December he should have done something about it December.

It's not your responsibility to sort his finances. It's his to pay for his DD upkeep.

Totally agree kids don't cost nothing because you earn nothing but if he is on UC or something now they will adjust the payments.

Aprilshowersandhail · 15/04/2021 20:24

He is a chancer isn't he??

daryldixonsdreamgirl · 15/04/2021 20:25

No, they can't have you pay back the money.

WeeFae · 15/04/2021 20:26

Where did CMS take the money from if he didn't have any wages?

FTEngineerM · 15/04/2021 20:26

Better get down to tesco and ask for a refund

Aimee1987 · 15/04/2021 20:27

No you wont have to pay it back it's his responsible for telling cms that he lost his job. They wont backdated it.

Going forward his maintenance payments will drop to reflect his new income( or lack thereof)

Original poster
Ostryga · 15/04/2021 20:30

@WeeFae

Where did CMS take the money from if he didn't have any wages?
We use direct pay, so I assume he’s been using savings. I just got the recalculation through today telling me I’m entitled to £nil.

What a twit, if he’d just told me what was going on it gives me time to re jig finances and make sure we’re ok too.

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 15/04/2021 20:33

Like fuck can he get it back.

suspiria777 · 15/04/2021 20:46

Lol, imagine! If only children were little cash sponges that soaked up what we spend on them so that we can simply wring them out when we need some cash. Your ex will have more luck planting some magic beans.

Theunamedcat · 15/04/2021 20:48

Did he text you this information? I would reply LOL

Hm2020 · 15/04/2021 20:48

No he cannot get it back what sort of prick would even want to! Shock

MissMaple82 · 15/04/2021 20:55

Hes not got a hope in hell. My ex started overpaying once and I rang to see if he would be able to claim it back and was told no.

KoalaOok · 15/04/2021 21:00

The children can't uneat the food he contributed towards etc so no. No money back.

needadvice54321 · 15/04/2021 21:02

Well doesn't he sound like a peach? Knobhead

waitingforthenextseason · 15/04/2021 21:19

Yes, because children can go without food, clothing and shelter while he looks for another job. Oh wait....

Iwantacookie · 15/04/2021 21:20

Tell him you've already spent it but is welcome to have the food back dd has digested if hes so desperate.

StoneColdBitch · 15/04/2021 21:42

No, you can't be made to pay him back. The change is effective from today.

However, I think he did a good thing, continuing the previous rate of maintenance for several months, presumably paying out of savings. Shame he ruined it by being so unkind to you today.

If he is unemployed, it's not his fault he can't continue paying the old rate of maintenance. If he claims benefits you may get a small payment (I think it's £7 a week). However, if he has literally no income at all (if he's unemployed and being supported by family or his new spouse/partner) then I don't think he's being unreasonable to suspend maintenance. He can't pay maintenance if he has literally no money Confused Hopefully he'll find another job soon.

megletthesecond · 15/04/2021 21:46

At least it'll give the staff at the CMS office a good laugh when he calls them.

Fembot123 · 15/04/2021 21:48

What a fucker

ThrowingAShellstrop · 15/04/2021 21:50

Bwahaha nope.

What a billy bullshitter he is!

MarcelinesMa · 15/04/2021 21:54

Hahahahaha. No. It doesn’t work like that. God what a cunt he is wanting to literally take money away from his child. Assuming he actually did lose his job in December like he said he did, the onus was on him to report a change of circumstances at the time and ask for a recalculation.

To sum up it’s very much a him problem so I would ignore completely. Or just say until you get contact from the CMS telling you that you have to you won’t be taking any action (paying it back to him). CMS won’t tell you to do that though.