To tell DH he's not on a sodding low carb diet

[puginamug]

DH is a bit funny about food. In that he likes to do the shopping and decide what we eat.

He'll ask us but if 'he doesn't fancy it' he'll decide we're having something else.

This involves sometimes daily trips that the supermarket.

What annoys me is that he keeps pretending he's on a low carb diet. He's not. He eats crisps, bread, chips, whatever he fancies. Whenever I go to the supermarket or suggest dinner he'll complain that I am sabotaging his diet.

Tonight texted me at work to ask if I wanted him to get dinner. I said yes. DH has taken DS to training but didn't have time to go shopping.

I've said fine, I'll rustle everyone up some pasta for everyone to be ready when they get back.

DH has said no, because of his low carb diet. So he's planning to go shopping when training has finished.

It's a weird control thing.

I'm fucking starving! It will be at least an hour before we eat.

@puginamug

You are of course right.

He does have lots of redeeming features. Things have been very tough for us recently and I think a lot of this is his coping mechanism so I'm willing to give him a bit of leeway.

I've also struggled with being able to go to the supermarket so am pleased he's been willing to go (although not so often).

But you are right, I need to redress the balance.

If you're struggling with the supermarket, can you get deliveries? I know people struggled to get delivery slots at the start, but they've all ramped up and I think it's a lot easier now.

And, added bonus, there's a minimum spend to get a delivery, which is going to override his "He won't shop for more than a couple of days at a time. Sometimes will just buy one meal." You can sit down , meal plan for a week, stick the order in and eat what you and the children fancy for a change. Result!

You don’t seem to like your dh at all

I think he's more on a see food diet. See it and eat it.

Don't let him control what you eat. I'm on a diet and would never control my DP and what he eats.

@Lassy1945

You don’t seem to like your dh at all

That's a bit extreme.

Just eat separately, I am veggie and just have soup in the week and dh cooks for ds and himself.

Who the hell has time to go shopping on a daily basis, buying one meal at a time? Madness.

And as for pandering to his control freakery around food, I would put a stop to that right away. He can please himself what he does, but I wouldn’t be party to that sort of nonsense. Cook a meal, and if he doesn’t want it, the he can make something for himself.

Life is too short for this s**t. Get your shopping delivered and schedule the meals for the week and if he has an issue he sorts himself. Why martyr yourself to his weird diet?! Threads like this baffle me.

That is absolutely ridiculous. I do low-ish carb (I will have porridge or one slice of bread at breakfast but low carb rest of day) but I would never dream of expecting anyone else to work around my diet. If my DP wants to cook pasta for tea great, he can eat that and I’ll scavenge something from the freezer. He is being utterly ridiculous and oddly controlling of the dinner situation.

Your H sounds like a control freak OP. Are you happy?

You sound like my teenage children!
I control their diets
I change my mind about what's for dinner and order take away sometimes.
I may claim to be on low carb diet but then crash and have wine and chocolate.
It's a weird control thing-I cook every freakin night.
They also say 'I'm fg starving. It will be at least an hour before we eat' as they appear from the kitchen with noodles, toast, biscuits, tea, as I'm about to cook dinner.

If he’s on a diet why do you have eat the same meals? Can’t he do his thing and you do yours? If not I’d be out the door and gone

Well, ask him what is low carb about burger and chips....
We need to know his answer!

Is he confused and he's actually counting macros rather than low-carbing? If he's in a weight loss phase then he'd be eating more protein and calorie counting with the remaining carbs and fat. If he's building muscle then he actually needs more carbs.

If this is what he's doing then menu planning is essential. And I don't see how you can eat as a family. It's fine as a couple but not doable with kids in the mix. You need to sit down with him and get more organised if you want to support him. Personally, I think I'd just go with him sorting his own meals out if he's going to keep saying that you're intentionally messing up his so called diet.

Weird you just go along with this utter madness. You say it’s a weird control thing like it’s something and nothing, it is completely weird and controlling and you shouldn’t be standing for it.

Buy and make food for you and DS, he can sort himself out.

lamb but she's his wife not his child, an equal partner and co-parent with equal say in what their son should be eating.

Do you have access to household money OP?

I know you don’t like going shopping so you are relying on him to go and he is making decisions for you because if this.

But if you wanted to order a delivery are you able to do so? Or does he control the finances too?

@GlutenFreeGingerCake

lamb but she's his wife not his child, an equal partner and co-parent with equal say in what their son should be eating.

Absolutely agree. Totally different situation.

@puginamug Oofffh! Nightmare. Any chance he’s got disordered eating/autistic spectrum disorder? If so, I’d talk to him gently about his food issues affecting your DS’s attitude to food in the future and support your DH in seeing GP. If he resists, keep persisting, but avoid arguments. With pasta, if you cook it, let it cool, then reheat it when you need it, carb content is reduced. Google it. Good luck.

My husband likes to pretend he doesn't eat at all until he gets home in the evening. Almost every day he claims his tea is the first thing he's eaten all day. He announces it like it's some huge achievement, which it isn't because I think it's a silly thing to do. However, the fact is that he does eat through the day and it's almost always pies, crisps, wine gums etc etc. His van and pockets are overflowing with empty wrappers. He spends a ridiculous amount of money visiting the Co-op often more than once a day. Sometimes several times. It's utterly nonsensical to myself and the rest of my family. I just can't figure what on earth he gets out of lying about something so stupid.

That's not idea for anyone going shopping daily. Especially if you have a child. Tell him to budget an amount of food per week and then split it in a way that works where you can do yours and your sons food shop and he can buy what he wants daily

That would drive me mad. He needs to sort himself out whilst you do your own thing. Don’t make a big deal out of it but stand your ground.

My husband does this too. We eat separately, much easier.

I'd order massive pizzas and eat them in front of him.

The answer to this is so obvious - just go ahead and make the pasta, since it’s what you want and you’re hungry - that it’s almost as if you can’t see the wood for the trees, OP.

I hope this thread and given you a bit of clarity, and a much needed push to just leave him to his quirks, and get on with things for yourself / any DC coming along for the ride.

You let him get like that. If you'd out your foot down in the first place....you get where I'm going...
No way would I be beholden to the whims of someone else's fantasy food fads and shopping habits.